By Guest Blogger OneWed.com

I was at a wedding recently where I had to perform an emergency intervention. A friend of the bride’s decided that she wanted to give a “toast.” The girl is very funny, and well known for giving a good speech.

At a lot of weddings a funny, impromptu speech would be fine, but I happened to know that the bride and groom expressly did NOT want any toasts at all. They are both very shy and they also had a few relatives they were concerned about being inappropriate.  So, they decided not to open the floodgates by letting people on mic.

Luckily, the girl was not shy about sharing her plans for a toast. I heard about them, double checked with the bride, and was able to explain the “floodgate” issue to her. Toast crisis averted.

It all reminded me though how many little things brides and grooms often forget to share with other people. Whether you hire a professional “day of coordinator” or just have some friends responsible for keeping track of things, make sure to share info like this.

There will always be wedding day surprises, but letting others in on your plans will help keep them to a minimum.

Groom wedding toast advice from Simon Daykin:

By Guest Blogger: Simon Daykin

Homer Simpson once said…”If I could just say a few words…I’d be a much better public speaker.”  I have grooms come to me all freaked out over their speech.  Truth be told, honestly, it ain’t that bad.   Most of us I’m sure had “speech day” in school growing up yes?  So you got through that and you will get through this as well.  Plus, this is you speaking to the women you love and the people who helped you get to this point in your life.  So this week I wanted to open up my vault of wedding planning advice and bestow upon you my “quick and nasty” tips for writing and giving a great speech.

Play it smooth and compliment the bride and bridemaids on looking great.

Don’t Make Me Get the Soap

Keep it appropriate!  There may be kids in the audience.  Even if there aren’t any kids, odds are your grandparents may be in attendance and you don’t want to make a fool of yourself in front of them, not to mention your parents…oh and your new wife’s parents.  So no foul language, no dirty jokes or stories and let’s not make this a drinking game…”but…um”.  Tell a nice story about how you met and fell in love with your wife.  Regale them with tales of your best man and groomsmen, but keep it PG, PG-13 tops!  Don’t talk about the wild time you had at your stag or how you got left in Mexico and all you got “was a lousy T-shirt”.

You Look Mah-vel-ass…

Make sure you mention (a few times at least) how good your bride looks, and why stop there?  It never hurts to mention how good the bridesmaids look and mention the maid of honor as well.  Have your mum and the mum of the bride stand up, introduce them again and say how great they are and how good they look that night.  Mention the bride’s family, your family, maybe tell a little story about how you met your new wife’s family and how your family molded you into the grand man you are today.  Funny stories always keep the crowd in the palm of your hand.  Just don’t drone on, and on, and on, and on, and…you get the idea.

Thank Them All

Seriously, thank everyone!  Thank your Bride, both the families, the wedding party, the people who drove 3 hours, hell, thank the people who drove 5 minutes if you have any, the people who got on a plane, the hotel staff, the person who did the flowers, the cake designer, the guy who drove the cab to get your drunk groomsmen back to the hotel the night before, thank the DJ or band (even if it’s ahead of time.)  Thanking the hotel and serving staff is a great way to ensure that everyone’s glasses are filled,  and that the service is great for the rest of the night.  You get the idea, thank them all.  And if you can, thank your wedding planner.

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

So now you know what to include in that speech of yours.  So when you have it written, practice delivering it in front of the mirror a few times.  Time it out to make sure you don’t hit the 15 minute mark, people will get bored.  Once you have the timing down, add in some great hand gestures and make up cards that have the MAIN talking points on them.  Hints not full sentences guys.  Run through the speech again with your new cards and you’re good to go.
Try to lay off the sauce until you have delivered your speech.  That is not to say you can’t drink at all, but don’t get right pillared!  You spent a lot of time on that speech and the last thing you want to do is slur your way through it.  So unprofessional!  Plus you’ll look like a classic fool in front of everyone and I don’t want any of Grooms looking silly.  That just won’t do.  So be cool…a wee nip of courage is OK, but not so much that you feel you can invade a small country or rob a bank.

So if you read all the way to this: here is the short list……

* Appropriate story about how you met your Bride
* Thank your groomsmen
* Mention how good your Bride looks
* Mention how good the bridal party looks
* Mention the Bride’s family in some way
* Mention your family
* Thank all parties involved in the wedding
* Mention all members of the audience that travelled
* Thank the hotel and their staff
* Pound chest twice and toss up the peace sign….just wanted to see if you were paying attention.

Our groom style and planning expert Simon Daykin of GutsyGroom fame stops by to share some tips on choosing the all-important wedding mc

If chosen correctly, your wedding mc will keep the reception and wedding toasts running smoothly

Now that the two most important people in the wedding have been confirmed (That would be you and your bride) it’s time to choose the person (or people) who are going to run things from behind the podium.

The Master of Ceremonies (or MC as they’re often called) is quite important because they will be the one(s) making sure the introductions are done and the speeches run on time. But they also tell the funny stories about you and your bride to keep the audience warmed up between speeches. Other than the wedding planner, they run the show for those few hours they are up there at that podium.

But they can also kill the atmosphere, embarrass you or your bride and generally screw up the whole thing.

Choosing An MC Is As Important As The Wedding Colors Were To Your Bride

I want to give you some tips on choosing your MC because there are certainly some things you need to think about when planning your wedding. Take note, pay attention and choose wisely.

Who Knows You, As A Couple Best?

Did a mutual friend introduce you to your future wife?

Has there been someone there every step of the way from the first date to the wedding day?

Is there someone who right away springs to your mind?

If the answer is yes, odds are you have found a pretty great MC. Usually your first choice is the best. It is very important to pick an MC that knows both you and your bride. Sometimes this can mean having 2 MC’s, one from your side and one from the brides.

Hey You, Potty Mouth!

It is important when choosing someone who is speaking at one of the biggest days of your life to be sure they will perform appropriately. Make sure the MC follows a few simple rules.

1. No swearing- This just isn’t the time or the place for the f-bomb.
2. Keep the stories clean. If there are some off color stories to be told, do it at the stag or another function. Red faces of laughter are fine, not of embarrassment.
3. Don’t get hammered- I’m not saying they can’t drink, but drink in moderation. After they’ve done their duty there’s hours left to party.
4. Unless it’s a pre-arranged joke…keep your pants on! – I only mention this because we’ve seen it happen before. It’s not so funny when only a few people get the inside joke.

You need to choose a person who you can trust to obey these rules and not think it would be funny to go up there in front of your family, and your new family and launch into a profanity laced tirade about how much fun spring break in Mexico was back in the day.

Respect, Respect, Respect

It is important that, no matter how good the friend is to you, they must also respect your bride.

Having a buddy get up there and make fun of your bride, your relationship or how no one thought you guys would ever last is not cool. This goes as well for the bride’s MC if you are someone on her side do it.

If you’re really worried about who you’ve chosen after reading this article you could have final say on any stories or speeches your MC is giving. You want to remember the day for how special it was, not for the off collar things said that only one person in the room thought was funny.

One Too Many for the Bridal Party?

Is there a person you wanted in your bridal party but you just couldn’t swing it?

Well, now you can invite them to be part of the wedding as your MC for the evening’s festivities. It will include them in the evening, make them feel very special and get them involved in all the parties (yes, you should be inviting your MC to the stag, the wedding party dinner and yes, they should get a thank you gift as well).

So a last word of advice, after you have chosen your fantastic MC, and they have accepted. Sit down with them to knock a few ideas around. Let them know what you expect of them and let them know you are available if they want to run any ideas by you.

The Wedding MC: A great read for all aspiring mc's

I recommend you purchase this book to give them some help if it’s their first time as an MC:  The Wedding MC: A Complete Guide to Success for the Best Man or Event Host by Tom Haibeck

Gretchen, from MyWedding.com is here with the SAS (short and sweet) tip of the week for the grooms out there.

Amidst the wedding planning, you may have forgotten to set aside some time to prepare a toast to your groom’s toast to the bride.

Cheers!

Don’t fret, “The Complete Book of Wedding Toasts” by John William McClusky is a great resource for you to use.  Here are a few toasts from the book that I thought were short and sweet:

“Because I love you, I want to walk with you for the rest of my life, hand in hand, through the years to come.  here’s to our future.”

“Here’s to the love of my life, the light of my eyes, the darling of my heart.  In this day of days, I honor you.”

“You make me so much happier than I thought I could ever be.”  I want the joy that we feel right now to last forever.  Here’s to you, my sweet.”

If you have stage fright, just turn to look directly at your bride.  Try to picture just the two of you there and simply say what you feel in your heart.  I know…a bit cheesy…but so worth it!

Cheers!

Gretchen Viles of MyWedding.com is a weekly guest contributor to the GroomsAdvice blog. She specializes in blogging about groom’s issues from a bride’s perspective. Founded in 2002, MyWedding.com has grown into one of the most comprehensive easy-to-use local wedding guides on the Internet. They recently launched a wedding ideas and trends content section that focuses on all aspects of wedding planning.

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