Guest Blogger Profile: Simon Daykin

You don’t want this guy to BE YOU!!!!  Leading up to your wedding you want to be relaxed, you want to know everything is good hands and that you can chill out on the day and pretty much just show up, stand in the right place, say I do and kiss your bride a lot.  But there is road that leads to this Zen wedding day feeling, and I know guys hate to ask for directions on any road…even a metaphorical one, so here I am with a map for you.  It’s just three simple tips but they help, oh boy do they ever help!

Get Involved!!!

I cannot stress this enough!  Get involved with the wedding planning process.  You don’t have to sink yourself into the nitty gritty details of everything.  But attend the décor meeting, voice your opinions and be heard.  That way you know there will be no surprises when you walk into your reception.  Pink bows all over the place anyone!?!  I wanted all our bridesmaids to wear the same shoes, seems simple enough but I was the only one who felt that way.  I got my opinion heard and they all had the same shoes on when I showed up.  Makes sense to me though, same dress = same shoes.  So get involved in all the meetings with your planner that you can, visit the venue, help pick the menu, research the DJ, help pick out the ceremony music and your first dance tune.  It’s not that hard, and it can be fun as well.  Plus you get to bond with your bride to be and they love that!

Pamper Yourself, It’s OK & You Deserve It

This should really only apply if you help out with the planning process, if you do some work you can reward yourself.  But here we go ‘cause I know you’ll step up and get involved.  Pamper may sound silly but the only other phrase I could think of was “manper” and that sounds sillier to me.  Set up a couples massage for you and your bride to be, hell set up monthly appointments if you like.  It’ll keep you relaxed during the planning and leading up to the wedding.  Book yourself in for a manicure, make sure your nails look good for the wedding because you know that shot of your hands and the rings will be taken, nothing worse than chewed up split nails.  Get a haircut, a few weeks before the wedding, but head into a great stylist and get the full treatment, while you’re there get the warm face cloth massage and a shave, a real one, with a straight razor.  You may want to book another massage and facial for you the morning of the wedding to release any left over tension.  It’s up to you.

There Are Suits And Then There Are Suits, Your Should Be The Latter

Engraved Black Border Cufflinks from TheManRegistry.com

I always get on you guys about looking good.  And this issue will be no different!  HA.  Whether you buy a suit or you rent a suit you need to “own” the suit.  Make sure it fits…properly.  The shoulder pads sit ON your shoulders and the jacket hugs your torso.  If you feel comfortable in your suit, it will show and you’ll feel better throughout the day in general, trust me on this I do know a few things!  Make the suit your own…add your own shirt, don’t EVER wear the patent leather rental shoes, other dudes sweaty feet have been in there!!!  Add your own accessories like cufflinks, pocket squares and killer watch.  EnglishLaundry.com has just come out with a new line of cufflinks and PocketsSquarez.com has all manner of pocket squares for you and the prices are good!  You’ll feel better knowing that when people tell you that you look good, they mean it and they aren’t just being nice.  And if you feel better, the day will be even better than you thought it could be, of course you may have to cut the party short because your bride can’t wait to get you back to the room, but that’s the downside of being so “ridiculously good looking” and stylish!

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

Feeling good can come to you in a wild variety of ways.  But it has been proven that if YOU feel good, others around you will feel better and you will be the coolest guy in the room, well the last isn’t fact…but all the guys I style sure are.  Take the time to make yourself feel good, this should be every day, but especially leading up to your wedding.  Less stress is good.

Getting involved with the planning process is something you should do anyway.  I know you’re busy and may be tired, but this is an event that should only happen once in your life and you should be a apart of as much of it as you can be.  And again, trust me on this, your bride will notice and you’ll be better off for it (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

And on a final note, NEVER, EVER have your stag or any other drinking themed events the night before your wedding.  Seriously, I will find you and walk down the aisle next to you asking you if “you’d like a greasy pork chop served in a dirty ashtray”.  This wedding cost a lot of money, you love your wife to be and all these folks came in to see you do this thing.  So have the respect not to get right-plowed the night before, it’s common sense, but we’re guys and it’s always….”oh I’ll be fine tomorrow”.  Well no, you may not be, and you don’t want to stink of booze or puke on someone so forgo the silly juice and get a good night’s sleep.

Guest Blogger Profile: Simon Daykin

During a recent bridal fair, I got a ton of questions about what to look for when going after a wedding planner.  You know you need one, but you want to make sure you get the right one.  You don’t want a “CCP” or a little old blue haired lady that has no idea what the current trends and styles are, so you need to know what to look for yes!?!  Oh, “CCP” is a phrase I coined that means “Clipboard Clutching Planner”, this planner resembles a deer in the headlights, but with a clipboard!  So below are my 8 Simple Rules To Finding A Wedding Planner.

Finding the right wedding planner is essential for a smooth wedding planning process

1. Can They Provide “The Hook Up”?
Does the Wedding Planner have good relationships with vendors and venues?  Can they pull you the discounts?  Do vendors and venues want to work with them?  We pass on all the discounts that we get from vendors DIRECTLY to our clients, and we get those discounts because we bring those vendors a lot of business and they love working with us.  Having your planner be able to “hook you up” is one of the reasons you hire a planner in the first place.  Your planner should be fighting for you to get you the best deals they can.

2. Are They Insured?
Pretty simple question no???  A lot of planners are not insured, they rely on venue insurance which doesn’t always cover them.  You MUST make sure that in the event of any kind of accident, both you and your planner are covered.  Wearing a lampshade on your head at a party (when it’s your choice) can be hilarious, having a lampshade fall from the ceiling and bonk one of your guests on the noggin….not so funny.  It’s your ass, so cover it guys!!!

3. You Got A Real Purdy Website
What is their web presence like?  Do they have a great site out there?  People seem to love this internet thing and do tons of research before they even contact a planner.  So take a look at the planner’s website.  And this is always a red flag for me…do they have a real email address.  Is it weddingplanner25@hotmail.com or is it info@fireflyoccasions.com?  Have they taken the time to set up a real email?  This may be the web snob in me, but I feel that real email addresses are REALLY important!

4. And Speaking Of Websites…
Really look at the portfolio section.  Does the planner have a varied portfolio or do all the weddings kinda look the same?  You want your wedding to be as unique as you, so you need to know that the planner can pull off a unique wedding.  You don’t want to become just another wedding in the eyes of your guests.  Also look to see if the venues in the back ground are different.  If the planner works mostly with the same venue I find that they become “lazy” in their design strategies and reproduce old weddings, and you don’t want that either.

Good wedding planners exist so grooms & brides don't have to remember all of this stuff.

5. Full Time, Part Time Or Just Time To Time
Does the planner you’re looking at work as a planner full time?  You want to be able to contact your planner when you need to.  If they are at their day job from 9-5 do you really think you’ll get their best when they get home and THEN start planning your wedding?  When I’m done at work, all I want to do is watch TV and veg the hell out.  So are they planning weddings full time or is this a hobby business for them?  I don’t want to knock newer planners or part time planners, but if I were building a house, I’d hire a guy who builds homes for a living, not a guy who builds them in his spare time.  Hire a professional.  I’m just sayin’…

6. “Preferred” Isn’t Always A Good Thing
In the wedding industry there are things called preferred vendor lists.  When you meet with a venue they may recommend people to you.  This seems great, the venue says they’re cool…so they must be, right?  Well not always.  Preferred vendor lists can be bought.  A vendor can give the venue a chunk of money to be on that list.  The venue may not have EVER even worked with them, but they pay, so they play.  Ask the venue if their list is based on reputation and talent or if companies can simply buy a spot on the list.

7.  Is Your Planner An “Expert”?
Does your planner travel?  Do they attend conferences?  Hell, do they speak at those conferences?  Is your planner an Expert in their field?  I feel planners should travel and always be learning more stuff, because let’s face it…you can’t be trekking all over hells half acre looking for new wedding trends.  It’s the planner’s job to do the learning for you and bring that to the table when planning and designing your wedding.  Ask them if they belong to any Associations, if they speak at conferences and if they travel to track down the latest and greatest in wedding stuff.

8. And Finally, Do They Know You Exist?

Yes, believe it or not, grooms do exist.

When I was getting married, I had to insert myself into any meeting I wanted to attend, because most planners only focus on the Bride.  It’s not their fault, they don’t know any better.  They focus on the Bride because history tells them the Groom wasn’t interested.  Well that was THEN, this is NOW and we’re re-writing history here fellas.  Make sure your planner knows you, the Groom exists and that you want your opinion heard.  When you meet with your planner for the first time, make sure you attend that meeting.  You can get a lot from a first impression, if the planner doesn’t ask you your opinion when they first meet you, it’s a good bet they won’t…ever!

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

I know some of the above points may seem a little harsh, but after some of the questions I got last weekend I had to write this.  I hate having the Groom overlooked in the planning process.  Now I can’t do anything for you if you take yourself out of the process, but you won’t do that will you???

The thing is, the odds are very good that you will not figure out you hired the wrong planner until your big day comes and it all goes pear shaped.  So if you follow these 8 simple rules, you’ll have a better chance of getting it right the first time.  And don’t be afraid to ask the planner for references, ask them to hook you up with their past clients, the parents of past clients, hell…ask them for vendor references from photographers or DJ’s etc they have worked with in the past.  See what the other pros in the industry have to say about them.

It never gets any better than a first impression, you’ll be spending a lot of time with the planner you choose so make sure it’s a good fit.

By Guest Blogger MyWedding.com

Feeling a little stressed from all the wedding planning?  Here are 10 simple solutions to help with that stress-level.

- Have glass of red wine: Just one…maybe two.  But, let’s try to keep it at that.

Gretchen suggests wine, but beer has been known to work as well.

- Jog it off: A brisk walk or jog will assist with blood circulation and breathing, which will literally help you with rising stress-levels.

- Read a book: Ok, well…check out a magazine then – a “man-mag.”  I know, I know…it’ll be hard to stay away from your favorite bridal publication, but, please – resist the temptation.  Or else this stress-reliever will fail.

- Go for a drive:  You don’t need to make it to an actual destination.  There’s just something so relaxing and exciting about heading somewhere but going nowhere.  (Just be sure to call the Fiancée, and assure her you’re not “leaving”…you’ll be back for dinner!)

- Call up an old friend:  From “Twittering” to “Status Updates” on Facebook to text messaging – cell phones aren’t even used for talking anymore.  I say, use up some of those daytime minutes to call up a friend.  Who knows, this may lead to actually hanging out again! This leads me too…

- Hang out with the buddies: Get together with some friends for some male bonding.  “Non-bachelor party” type events are preferable.  How about bowling, or fishing or golf – friendly competition is always healthy and fun.

- Send your Mother some flowers:  Surprising mom with flowers can easily brighten not only her day, but yours!

- Volunteer: Doing something nice for someone always helps take the focus off of ‘your worlds’ stresses.

- Take a nap:   If you can’t afford a 1 hour nap – sometimes, all it takes is a little shut-eye to get your enthusiasm level back up, and your jitters down.

- Ask the Fiancée out on a date:  Who says romance has to end when the wedding planning begins?  It most certainly does not.  Watch a movie, have a nice dinner – reconnect and revive the love.

Introducing guest blogger Jennifer Napier of OneWed.com who’s checking in for bride’s “hump” Wednesday with a post on man’s best friend: beer.

Grooms, meet Matilda

So, you and your lovely lady are talking liquor…what to serve, what to toast, what to stock. You’re thinking keg, she’s thinking Cristal. But here’s a little known fact—the word bridal actually comes from “bride ale” or “wedding feast”!

Enter Matilda from the makers of Goose Island. It’s the perfect accompaniment to fine food and festive occasions. And it’s meant to be served in a wine glass! As Brewmaster Greg  explains, “It’s wild in character with a slightly fruity aroma..unique as it is satisfying.” Just like you, my friend!

Jennifer Napier of OneWed.com is a guest contributor to the GroomsAdvice blog offering a little local flavor for The Man Registry’s Grooms. OneWed combines the largest online directory of wedding vendors, ideas & inspiration wedding blog, online wedding planning tools and, above all, honest answers for savvy brides. Stop by…we’d love to have ya!

Gretchen, from MyWedding.com is here with the SAS (short and sweet) tip of the week for you grooms out there.

Hey Guys!

Scheme with the Maid of Honor (MOH) to present your Bride-to-be (BTB) with a special gift from you to be given during her Bridal Shower or her Bachelorette Party!

It could be anything from a handwritten love note and flowers, to a Video IPod with all of her favorite movies ready to watch on it.

This simple action will definitely have her missing you while celebrating at the ‘all-female’ shindigs!

Gretchen Viles of MyWedding.com is a weekly guest contributor to the GroomsAdvice blog. She specializes in blogging about groom’s issues from a bride’s perspective. Founded in 2002, MyWedding.com has grown into the most comprehensive easy-to-use local wedding guide on the Internet. They recently launched a wedding ideas and trends content section that focuses on all aspects of wedding planning.

——-

You stay classy grooms – Cheers!