Posts Tagged ‘Sex’

Expert Forum: Sex on the Wedding Night

Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Under the impression that your wedding night will be the summit of your sexual life? Hold that thought. Whether due to fatigue, hunger, inebriation, or a combination of all three, sex may not even happen on the big night. Is this acceptable? There’s no right or wrong answer, but everyone has an opinion. We pulled together some of our favorite bloggers to debate just how important it is to seal the marital deal on the wedding night.

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Some stats say as high as 50% of newlyweds don’t consummate the marriage until the honeymoon. Just how important is doing the deed on the wedding night?

Kara Horner (Blogger & Media Director, TheManRegistry.com)
Twitter: @TMR_Kara

Let’s face it; weddings are often emotional, stressful and exhausting. So it’s no surprise that nearly half of couples are too spent (or over-served) to have sex on the wedding night and end up crashing instead. If it works out, mazel tov! But if it doesn’t happen, don’t sweat it. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourselves to do the deed when neither of you is really into it. That will only lead to disappointment. Instead, rest up, recharge and postpone the wedding night sex until your honeymoon instead. Once you’ve both had a minute to relax, you’ll be in the right frame of mind to enjoy being newlyweds.

Darren Younge (Founder, Well-Groomed)
Twitter: @wellgrmd

Not even a little important. There’s no point in forcing it if you’re not feeling it. After months of dealing with in-law drama, wedding details, and budget dilemmas, it’s understandable. If the reception leaves you too tired or boozy to hit the sheets, then by all means, wait until you’re relaxing oceanside with the Mrs.

Brian Leahy (Founder, The Groom Says)
Twitter: @thedaddysays

There’s one thing I know for certain: if you carry your stunning bride down that Hampton Inn hallway and across the threshold and announce upon entry that you’re ready to “do the deed,” then I guarantee that’s gonna be the only entry you see that night. I’m not at all surprised that over half of newlyweds can’t pull it together on their wedding night. You’re both drenched in sweat, sore in the legs from dancing, sore in the mouth from smiling, and that hangover is only moments away. On any other “ordinary” night, sex would be the farthest thing from your mind. So don’t put too much stress on it — cause you kids have got plenty of time to do the dirty. And cause it’s much more likely that you’ll be hitting up Taco Bell at 2AM in your full wedding get-up, hoping the dude working late-night throws some free chalupas your way.

Holly Steen (Owner, Cakes & Kisses Photography)
Twitter: @cakesandkisses

My husband says the importance of sex on the wedding night is very important if the couple hasn’t had sex for religious or biblical reasons. But if a couple has been living together or had premarital relations it doesn’t seem that important. Because weddings are such an extravagant day, not just a 20 minute ceremony. Couples are spending thousands for a 6 hour party to celebrate. By the wedding night they are too exhausted from the first dance, toasts, last dance, etc. So everyone understands why they don’t consummate. I say, it is vital to have the connection after such a beautiful celebration of your wedding with friends and family. It completes the translation from fiancé/fiancée to husband/wife. Isn’t the divorce rate the same as the couples who wait to consummate till the honeymoon?

Ian (Founder, A Groom’s Diary)
Twitter: @agroomsdiary

If you’re having a Dances With Wolves themed wedding it is part of the deal that everyone follows you to your teepee and stands outside while it happens. But I’ve read that only 47% of weddings in the US are Dances With Wolves themed…so that may not be for everyone. I say it’s important. Our wedding night the skies parted and the continents moved. Literally. Clouds cleared and there was an earthquake while we were consummating. You need to do it, just to try to top our earth and skies wedding night.

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Married couples: if you feel comfortable sharing, leave a comment below and tell us if you and your husband got it done on the wedding night. If you didn’t, why?

Hey Grooms, Don’t Go Risqué! – Common Misconceptions about Bridal Lingerie for the Big Day

Wednesday, July 10th, 2013

By Leah Chamberlin, HerRoom.com

Okay guys, so you’ve decided to surprise your bride-to-be with a little something special (hubba-hubba) for the big day or night…but hold the phone just one moment. Many, not all, of you may be thinking “sexy and sheer” or “I know she’ll look amazing in this,” although those are good thoughts to start off with, they aren’t necessarily what she may be looking for. No matter how much you love her in red, colored bridal lingerie isn’t quite the top choice for every woman. So, no color and not too sexy (tip: usually the super sexy lingerie that so many love isn’t all that functional for wearing under her wedding gown)…don’t let your bubble burst just yet.

Although we applaud your giant leap, no, not the one regarding walking down the aisle, buying women’s lingerie can be tricky, especially lingerie for the big day. Now we’d like to help you out by giving you some tips to pick out something that works for her dress, but you probably don’t have a clue what that looks like; with that being said, keep in mind her body shape. Find a sales associate to help you and describe, keep it classy, her body type and what your purchase is for. Keep the colors neutral (white, cream, and beige), don’t worry…the light colors will look just as amazing as that bright red. Remember, the thought alone will leave her glowing with happiness.

Usually women like to wear their bridal lingerie for the wedding night as well, but you never know…maybe she planned on changing to something a little more risqué afterwards. Don’t count on it though guys and like we said, she’ll stop you in your spot on your wedding day and leave your jaw dropping on your wedding night no matter what she’s wearing

Still have questions? Check out this helpful infographic:

bridal lingerie infographic

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Gentlemen: what’s your biggest question or fear about buying lingerie? Post below in the comment section and we’ll respond with helpful tips.

A Guy’s Guide to Gifting Lingerie

Tuesday, December 20th, 2011

Whether it’s for Christmas or the honeymoon, the gift of lingerie is sure to please your fiancée. The problem is, most men don’t have the first clue on how to buy it. And the ones who do sometimes can’t conquer the anxiety that goes along with a lingerie shopping expedition. We hope the following guide will help alleviate some of these issues.

man confused buying lingerie

Look familiar?

By Elizabeth Tigar, Special to GroomsAdvice from Shop-Underwear

Let’s be honest—gifting lingerie is like getting two for one. It’s a present for her; and, because you’ll also be enjoying how fabulous your lady looks in it, it’s a treat for you too. After all, lingerie is just about the most feminine item a woman can own. But therein lies the problem: whether they’re embarrassed about wandering around a women’s lingerie shop alone, or just plain clueless about ladies underwear, many men have a serious lingerie-shopping phobia.

It’s true, walking into a women’s lingerie store can be an intimidating thing for guys. Those who’ve been too wary in the past should try baby steps like seeking out a smaller boutique lingerie shop. You’re less likely to be overwhelmed by the amount of choices, and you’re more likely to find a salesperson who can give you a little help.

For all the guys out there holiday shopping for your significant others, here are some helpful hints to overcome lingerie-buying anxiety:

1. Come prepared. Before you venture out to buy her lingerie—or anything that comes with a size—you should know what size she is. All this takes is a bit of detective work. Sneak a peek in her underwear drawer (or maybe just at the tag on the bra that’s still on your floor), and note what sizes you see. Bras have a cup (A, B, C, D etc.) and a band size (32, 34, 36). Panties generally come in small, medium or large. Take note of both and bring them with you when you decide to shop.

2. Ask for help. I know this goes against everything a man stands for, but lingerie sales professionals will always know more about the merchandise than you do. So just ask! Mention you’re shopping for a gift and tell them her size.They should be able to guide you in the right direction.

3. Keep it mild. This especially applies for the first-time undergarment gift. DO NOT, under any circumstances, go too sexy with the first undergarment gift. Translation: nothing too see-through (lace is a yes, mesh is a no), nothing too itty-bitty (save g-strings for later) and certainly nothing edible (do we need to say that?), and absolutely, no exceptions, never ever anything without a crotch. Even if sexy is her thing, you risk turning her WAY off with your gift if it’s too risqué, which is exactly the opposite of what you’re going for. Stick to something more tame. A great bra and panty set that she could wear for something other than a special occasion. Maybe even something like a cute nightie. Not the granny kind, mind you—the flirty short kind. This will show her that you’re interested in making her feel pretty and comfortable, not necessarily just seeing her dressed up all racy for you.

Sidenote, When it’s okay to push the envelope: Definitely wait until you’re committed to one another. Critiques on undergarments from someone you’re just dating will get you kicked to the curb fast. Stepping up the game by giving her something sexy is something that can be a welcome surprise. Just make sure you present it with the attitude of “I think you’re amazing and sexy, and I thought this would make you feel exactly like that. But if you don’t like it, that’s okay.” And never with the attitude of “I’m totally sick of your basic cotton undies.” Be tasteful, be respectful. She’ll love you for the gesture all the same.

4. Gift it privately. Lingerie is not a gift you want to see her open in the middle of a restaurant, even a small romantic one. Give her the gift in the privacy of your home, or hers. It’s more comfortable for everyone involved.

5. Don’t be discouraged. Worst case scenario: it’s not her thing. Don’t beat yourself up too much or give up on the idea entirely. If you can tell she doesn’t like it, or if you never see her put it on, ask her gently what she didn’t love about it. Ask her what she likes and take notes for next time.

Following that plan, there’s a decent chance you’ll hit a home run, if not the first time, then maybe the second. Regardless of whether it’s perfect, it’s always the thought—and not the thong—that counts.

Elizabeth Tigar is the owner of Austin, TX, lingerie boutique Underwear. Visit www.shop-underwear.com to check out the latest styles.

Don’t Blow It On Your Wedding Night

Thursday, April 1st, 2010

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After the DJ has played the last song of the evening, after the last guest has toddled off to bed and yes, after the last bridesmaid has hooked up with a groomsman, you’ve still got one last job to do.  It’s your wedding night!!!  I don’t have to spell it out for you so I won’t…but you need to “up” for the job.  This means being awake, alert and not fall down, drooling, word slurringly plowed!  Sure you can still have a good time at the reception, it is your party after all and you did pay for some of that sweet nectar, but rein it in guys.  You don’t want to look a fool when she gets you up to that room, the candles are glowing and your drunken snores all but drown out the romantic music.

But it’s not ALL about the sex…yeah I know, but humor me here OK?!?  I have a few tips on creating the mood, being able to “seal the deal” and continuing the mood into the next day…the first day of the rest of your life.

Spruce Up That Hotel Room

A hotel room is a hotel room, trust me…I lived in them most of last year due to a hectic travel schedule.  But you can change all that.  You can put your own touches into the room and create a super romantic atmosphere…and the best thing is, she doesn’t have to know anything about it and your wedding planner can help you.  And when I say help you, I mean they do it and you get all the credit.  www.fireflyoccasions.com offers a Honeymoon Suite program that will blow her mind and make you look like a freakin’ hero!  While you are dancing, we will pop up to the room, lay out the robes, and slippers, make sure the champagne and strawberries are set up, we include battery operated candles, so no matter how “spirited” you get, there is no risk of fire.  If the groom (you) hooks us up with an iPod, we set that up and have the romantic tunes playing softly as the couple enter later on.  Rose petals form a pathway to the bed and we make sure the pillows are oh so fluffed.  But the great thing is…you can take all the credit!

Pace Yourself Young Man!

Sure the bar is open, and sure they have your drink of choice, well they better, it’s your damn wedding!  But that doesn’t mean you have to “Bogart” the bar.  Leave some for the rest of your guests and pace yourself.  You don’t want to slur your way through your speech and end it by raising your glass and puking all over Aunt Gertrude.  Be aware of how much you’re drinking, and of how much you have eaten.  This is key!  Take the time to eat your dinner, you picked out the food so eat the food.  And make sure your bride eats as well.  Have some drinks with dinner, you’ll need champagne to toast with, my advice…sip don’t gulp…and don’t let your buddies get you wailed on shots.  They had their chance to do that at the stag, now it’s just too late…sorry.  They should understand but if they don’t…have a groomsman deal with it.  Don’t get plastered, this is the day when all eyes are on you…you don’t want to make a fool of yourself and you want to be able to “finish” the night properly.  Last minute coffee DOES NOT WORK!!!

Waking Up To Romance

3  magic words: breakfast in bed

3 magic words: breakfast in bed

I know it’s not easy, but think ahead.  In my experience women love breakfast in bed…and if someone else makes it and delivers it to your room that is all the better.  Add in an order of champagne and orange juice for a little early morning delight and you got it made son!  Again, this is a simple thing, not too hard to do and your planner can also take care of this for you.  Simply give your planner your breakfast order, discreetly BEFORE the wedding and don’t let your bride know.  The planner can place the order, set up the time and VIOLA!!!  Breakfast in bed with little to no effort on your part.  Just make sure you’re awake and coherent enough to answer the door (See previous paragraph).  Plus, if you have scheduled a buffet for your guests that you plan to attend, a good solid breakfast in you will give you the energy to shake hands and smile for a few hours…and if you happen to be late as a result of the mimosas I’m sure they will understand.

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

So there you go, a few simple tips on how not to “blow it” on your wedding night.  These are easy to implement things that will make you look like one hell-of-a-guy in the eyes of your bride.  You don’t have to break the mold or bring down the moon, but it’s always nice to surprise your bride with some things she never thought you’d think of.  And that, my friends is where I come in.

Keep in mind that sure, the bar is open (free) but in the end, you did pay for it, so it’s not really free is it?  Watch your consumption, if you wanna get all legless, that’s what the stag is for.  Your wedding night should be memorable…that means you need to remember it!!!  So pace yourself at the bar and lay off the shots, you’ll thank me in the morning when the mimosas show up and you’re ready to go!!!

Simon Daykin is an award winning event designer, planner and groom stylist with Fire Fly Occasions. Simon strives to get grooms involved in the wedding planning process and have their opinions heard. He understands that grooms can get left out or pushed out of the planning process so he’s here to help. You can connect with him further on Google+.

GroomsAdvice Red Light District: 5 Sexy Must-Have Items for Couples

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010

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By Guest Blogger Adam & Eve

Men…you’ve almost made it to the altar. Now you need to get a head start on your married sex life. On the wedding night and  honeymoon, you’re going to want to  impress your bride and make her remember why she’s spending the rest of her life with you! Adam & Eve has provided a list of items to help make your honeymoon glorious and start you on the path for great sex for a lifetime.

•    Massage a few drops of the Kama Sutra Love Oils on your favorite parts of the body and blow gently to feel their warming power. These irresistible and silky oils are very popular among couples and come in three delicious flavors. Choose from Original (a blend of chocolate, vanilla, and cinnamon), Vanilla (pure vanilla and cream) or Raspberry (sweet and juicy blend).

•    The O’Wow Vibrating Ring is a 2 in 1 sex toy that helps men last longer while acting as a stimulator for the woman. The ring is waterproof, includes a vibrating bullet and free batteries.

•    You’ll definitely need the Kama Sutra Sex Positions Book that includes 77 fully illustrated sex positions. This book can take your sex life to whole new levels giving you and your partner new ways to pleasure each other all year-long. Have fun reading the descriptions on how to master these moves together.

•    Want Great Sex For a Lifetime? This DVD Set includes over 120 minutes of watch and learn DVDs. This collection is a great addition to any couple’s DVD library. Volume one is 60 minutes of tips while volume two is 60 minutes of new positions or sex tricks you can bring into the bedroom.

•    The Romantic Poker Game for Couples is a sexy and seductive twist to the traditional game of poker. This isn’t anything like the poker game you play with your buddies. You’ll want to bet it all! Everyone wins in this fun erotic card game. A great idea to take on the honeymoon and use any night you want to kick off a night of great sex.

•    The Sexy Slave Kit is getting rave reviews from Adam & Eve customers.  Be spontaneous and introduce this sensual kit into your sex life. This kit includes two soft restraints to fit wrists or ankles, a cushioned blindfold and feather tickler.

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