If you think you’ll enjoy being chased out of your own wedding by a shotgun-wielding bride, then go ahead and say all of the things below:

10.) Please don’t end up like your mother.

9.) Wow. That bridesmaid dress really brings out your sister’s rack.

8.) Can the cake cutting wait for a minute or two? I’ve gotta go re-fill my flask.

7.) Honey, I know it’s not the best time… but there’s something I really need to tell you about the bachelor party.

6.) Have you given any thought yet to any of the meals you’ll be cooking me over the next 60 years?

5.) Seriously. How many dudes have you slept with? I’ve got a bet with your dad.

4.) Wait, I was supposed to actually memorize those vow things? I thought that was a joke.

3.) I know you said my ex couldn’t come to the actual wedding, but I seriously thought it was OK if she came to the reception.

2.) Was the dress not available in your size?

And drumroll…

1.) So, do you think we’ll last?