today’s groom-approved link roundup has a chance to be one of our best ever. we kick things off with a giveaway from the groom says and  follow that up with a few hooters-inspired links + the usual array of groom tips, laughs and inspiration. enjoy!

(photo - Terry Thurston, Morning Light Photography) MorningLightStudio.com

The Art of Grooming + GROOM GIVEAWAY – the groom says

[An Alternate Take] Why Men Don’t Need to Marry – ask men

Father-of-the-Groom Wedding Day Duties – marriage.com

Tips on Hiring a Wedding Accountant – broke ass bride

How to Speed Plan Your Wedding – the plunge

Hooters Wedding! – wedinator

Already Married? Enjoy a Discount at Hooters – jezebel

How Celebs Do Bachelor Parties: 8 Infamous Shindigs – divine caroline

How to Plan a Blissful Financial Future – hitched

How to Groom for a Proposal – staggered usa

By Guest Blogger Brian Leahy, Founder of The Groom Says

Last Friday, some hundred thousand million or so women and approximately three men attended the NYC Running of the Brides, a 14-hour-long event hosted by Filene’s Basement.

(Warning: the videos featured on Filene’s website may contain graphic and disturbing material.)

The photographs on the event’s web page would lead you to believe that this is an urban team building activity or charity speed walk; what it really is, however, is an opportunity for brides to overrun our nation’s largest cities in search of a single high value dress at a cheap price. Brides can form teams (siblings, bridesmaids, complete strangers), design team crowns and t-shirts, devise a series of strategies and audibles, and — in essence — create their own offensive line. The website features helpful hints for brides who are planning on partaking in the bloodbath, but there isn’t the slightest bit of advice for the men who are dragged unwillingly onto the Colosseum arena floor.

So we’ve devised a groom’s ROTB guide. We sought out the sole survivor of last week’s event, read a little Darwin and put together a guide to staying alive in the most chaotic environment ever imagined. And yes, that includes that Hannah Montana concert, which we’ve all agreed was a huge mistake.

the non-bride guide to surviving the Running of the Brides

1. Know the course. The key to survival is having a reliable escape route. A week before the event, stop by the store and walk through the space a dozen or so times: memorize the layout; practice some safety drills; test the skid factor on the floor; and locate the nearest exits and bathrooms. Knowing where the john is could mean the difference between life and death.

2. Cut a hole in a box. Of course, with the swarm of brides that will be present, you can’t guarantee an accessible exit. So in the days before, find a sizable cardboard box and cut a hole in the bottom (about shoulder width in diameter); using a thick black magic marker, write the words REALLY OVERPRICED DRESSES on all four sides; upon arrival, stash that box in a convenient corner; and if things get too hairy, get in the box. You’ll be safe there until morning.

3. Don’t speak. Man casualties come about when grooms mistakenly announce a worthwhile discovery. So refrain from phrases like Hey, here’s a good one and This tag says Vera Wang.

4. Bring Luna bars. Brides can’t resist whole grain energy bars in colorful packaging. If you need to clear the perimeter, just toss some Lemon Zest in the middle of the sale floor.

5. Buddy up. Chances are you won’t be the only male in attendance. Find another groom in distress (he won’t be hard to find), choose a meeting place and decide on a safe word. Preferably not Wang.

6. Hold the dressing room. Another way to avoid injury is to stay off of the sale floor entirely. Accompany your bride to the dressing room, and then hold it for her while she continues to shop. Let other shoppers think you’re a bride by incorporating authentic sound effects: ruffling clothes, zipping zippers and occasional sighs of disappointment.

7. Beware the rogue bride. Brides and their teams tend to travel in packs. When a bride gets separated from her herd, she will often become angry and charge at any moving, unfamiliar objects (namely, grooms). Should you encounter a rouge bride, adopt a feminine posture and remain still.

8. Don’t get photographed. The last thing you want is to be the poster boy for the Running of the Grooms, or to be featured on the main page of Filene’s website with the caption, “Men love it, too!” If you see a camera, throw a Luna bar at the lens.

Brian Leahy is founder of The Groom Says — a safe haven for grooms who need a hand with wedding planning and brides who need a hand with their grooms. Check out the blog for some laughs and inspiration, and be sure to follow The Groom Says on Twitter.

By Guest Blogger Madman of The Groom Says

The third trimester can be draining on both your body and your emotions. You may be overcome with a sense of ‘Let’s get this over with already.’ Try to maintain a positive outlook on what you’ve already accomplished and what lies ahead. If you’re just entering the final stretch, here’s what to expect:

YOUR BODY

Aside from general discomfort, third trimester wedding symptoms include:

* Bloating
* Shortness of breath – You may occasionally feel winded or smothered. These feelings are all too common. Use strategically placed cold compresses and horse tranquilizers to reduce the pressure.
* Vivid dreams/sleepless nights
* Weight gain – By the big day, you may weigh 3 or 4 kilograms more than did when this all began. This is due to a shift in priorities, i.e. hours once spent on the treadmill will now be spent assembling song lists and confirming stuff.
* Continued breast growth

[editor's note - during the third trimester, you should look something like this]

YOUR EMOTIONS

Fears about the big day may haunt you in your third trimester. “How long will it last?” “Who will be there?” “What if I forget something?” Remind yourself that you can only do your best and no more.

The reality of marriage may begin to sink in as well, especially if this is your first. Try to:

* think happy thoughts.
* express yourself in a journal or blog.
* debate circumcision.

YOUR BIG MOMENT

If you have specific preferences for the big day — such as doing it in water — you may need to plan accordingly.

As the date approaches, keep asking the important questions: Can I get tanked the night before? Why the hell did we decide to go through with this in the first place? When is the best time for an epidural?

And most importantly, in the heat of the moment, try not to resent or blame your significant other. They love you dearly, and that’s why they’ve done this to you. Hold their hand through the whole process, and give them gentle squeezes whenever it becomes “too much.” Once it’s over, you won’t even remember the last 9 months. Cause you’ll probably be drunk.

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The Groom Says is a real groom’s blog that details a year of wedding planning from the guy’s perspective. Check it out for daily posts and inspiration from Brian (aka Madman) as he plans his October 2010 wedding. You can also follow The Groom Says on Twitter. DO IT NOW!

By Guest Blogger Madman of The Groom Says

Most of our wedding decisions begin by overturning tradition and slapping etiquette in the face. Wedding guides and how-to’s will steer you toward the “customary” or the “typically,” whereas my 2E’s and I like to start from scratch. Start fresh. In order words, “What’s the purpose of this part of the process, and what are the most effective means to that end?”

We’ve coined this process “the scenic route.”

Take rehearsal dinners for instance — the name implies that it’s a dinner for those who attended or participated in the wedding rehearsal (or perhaps a chance for certain troublesome guests to rehearse eating a full course meal) … but what it really is is an opportunity for your immediate families and their guests to shake hands and swap stories and share a few laughs before chaos ensues the following evening … for two unique families to blend into one on behalf of two lovestruck kids. Two becomes one and stuff.

So what says “our mothers have never met before” like a traditional paintball fight?

THE PAINTBALL SCENARIO
Customarily the groom’s family will pitch in for the entry fee, gear, goggles, paintballs and equipment, and the couple will cover any additional costs. Traditionally, the escort cards are hung from the barrels of the guns as they lay across the glass display case — names printed on colored stationery matching the color of your designated team. Mixing up the bloodlines might be best, as the prospect of her brood delivering swift justice to your brood is just too embarrassing to face. Ideally the bride and groom would be on opposing teams as the first of the couple to “take down” the other determines who wears the pants in the household. A BBQ dinner is typically served buffet-style on the various bunkers throughout the field.

THE BAR CRAWL SCENARIO
What better way to build a familial bond between the groom’s and bride’s families than to pressure them into an irresponsible evening of straight boozing. The image of your brother escorting your fiancee’s sloppy drunk uncle to a nearby alleyway is one you’ll never forget. Proper rehearsal dinner etiquette states that the groom’s parents are responsible for the first five “public houses” on the tour, and any purchases beyond that are the responsibility of each inebriated individual. Dinner is the responsibility of the couple and typically includes fried calamari, potato skins and mediocre buffalo wings.

THE MEDIEVAL TIMES SCENARIO
Etiquette calls for awesomeness, so book a local barn for the evening, set up folding chairs along the perimeter, hang flood lights from the flimsy rafters overhead and pick up some lances from your neighborhood … lance store. Tradition states that men compete and observe while the wenches (i.e. women) serve meat on the bone; but never mind tradition. Get those wenches on horses and watch them battle for holiday visitation rights. Everything is the groom’s responsibility because — for god’s sake, dude — no one is going to think you can actually pull this off, especially your wife-to-be. Dinner will be whatever your future mother-in-law can throw together because you’ll be in serious debt after they’ve charged your credit card in the amount of barn + equine expenses + chairs + flood lights + medieval garb, and that’s not including the additional expense you’ll incur when your cousin drinks too much brew and lances that horse in the eye. Whatever. You’ll all laugh about it at your 50th anniversary.

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The Groom Says is a real groom’s blog that details a year of wedding planning from the guy’s perspective. Check it out for daily posts and inspiration from Brian (aka Madman) as he plans his October 2010 wedding. You can also follow The Groom Says on Twitter. DO IT NOW!

Brian from The Groom Says lays down the law on what he [and any other sane groom] won’t do.

We get a bum rap. You know, grooms. Apparently, we don’t like flowers; we don’t like colors; we don’t like to make decisions. Hard to believe, but it takes years to reverse those stereotypes, to tear down those walls. We hurt, too, ladies.

Then again, you should know that there are some things we absolutely won’t do. Yes, some stereotypes are true — that’s why they’re stereotypes. Brides, this abridged list is just a guide. Consult your groom for a complete directory.

1. Say “Fab” – No matter how “fab” something is … no matter how hard you try to drill it voodoo-style into our vocabulary … we’ll never say it. There could be a million Swarovski crystals hanging from a single centerpiece … we still won’t say it. It’s not you. It’s us.

2. Multitask At Your Level – Somewhere in our DNA we lack the chromosome that allows us to have six browser windows open while simultaneously emailing our wedding party, texting the photographer, faxing contracts, and phone conferencing with vendors. So pat us on the head and let us work at our own pace.

3. Cry Over Minor Milestones – We may tear up on the day, but don’t expect us to cry when we book the old school photo booth. We’re excited about it, too, but our lacrimal glands are limited — we need to save up our tears for the big day. We do that for you.

4. Help Plan Your Bachelorette Party - This doesn’t apply to every bride … but some do like their man’s advice when planning their last night of single womanhood. We won’t do it. It’s not that we’re uncomfortable with the idea. And we’re certainly not jealous, no matter how many police officers in tear away pants you may hire. We’re just afraid that you’ll want to reciprocate and help plan our bachelor party. And that’s just not an option.

5. Admit How Involved We Are – We know. You’re just thrilled that you are the one bride among all your bride friends who has the guy who’s involved. And, without hesitation, you’ll announce this at social gatherings, game nights, double dates, shindigs and soirees — but we won’t admit to it. We’ll laugh and deny it and quickly change the subject, especially in mixed company. So let’s keep our enthusiasm between us.

Check our more blogs on brian’s journey through the nonsensical world of wedding planning here