By Brian Leahy, The Groom Says
5. Chuppas can’t support your weight, so don’t lean on them. Should you get lightheaded during the ceremony, best to lean on the bride. After all, by this point in the wedding process, she’s physically, mentally and emotionally stronger than you. Plus, your guests will probably read this moment of weakness as something symbolic, i.e. “you’ll always be there for one another,” or something.
4. Smile, dude, and not just because you’ve paid those photographers a large sum of money to capture your every move. You should flash those pearly off-whites because the crowd is feeding off of your energy. So be that guy at the karaoke bar who brings the house down with back-to-back Neil Diamond (You’ll Be a Woman Soon/Sweet Caroline). And besides, if you’re into this whole marriage thing, you’ve got a lot to smile about.
3. Don’t wait to get dressed. Right around that pivotal six month mark, you should be sketching out your look for the big day. Even if you’re going traditional (top hat, cane, ascot), know that there are always unforeseeable hoops and hurdles that you will have to jump through … like having to put your linebacker of a brother in the same suit and tie and, no, Macy’s doesn’t carry the same jacket in 52 wide. “You wear a size 15 shoe? Since when, bro?!”
2. It’s okay to say no, even to the bride. When you walk into the florist’s office, and the sample table she’s set up for you is covered in pink taffeta, topped with a bejeweled pink cloud of peonies, accented with fluorescent pink votives, it’s perfectly acceptable to say, “No, this isn’t going to work.” Just remember that the key to compromise is offering an alternative, like “perhaps some white to offset the pink” or “if you get this, I get a man cave.”
1. That being said, make sure your lady is healthy and happy at all times. Put that task at the top of your list. This process is draining, and things can get ugly (especially when the catering estimates start rolling in). And as involved as you may be, Groom, you will never be as exhausted, depleted or overheated as your bride-to-be. So feed her right, treat her right, and do what she asks without complaint. It’s good practice for the next seventy years.
Brian Leahy is a Los Angeles-based writer and alleged groom expert. Former author of The Groom Says, his blog still lives on today as a resource and a refuge for the involved groom. Flip through the archives at thegroomsays.blogspot.com.