Posts Tagged ‘Kara Horner’

Expert Forum: Sex on the Wedding Night

Tuesday, September 24th, 2013

Under the impression that your wedding night will be the summit of your sexual life? Hold that thought. Whether due to fatigue, hunger, inebriation, or a combination of all three, sex may not even happen on the big night. Is this acceptable? There’s no right or wrong answer, but everyone has an opinion. We pulled together some of our favorite bloggers to debate just how important it is to seal the marital deal on the wedding night.


Some stats say as high as 50% of newlyweds don’t consummate the marriage until the honeymoon. Just how important is doing the deed on the wedding night?

Kara Horner (Blogger & Media Director,
Twitter: @TMR_Kara

Let’s face it; weddings are often emotional, stressful and exhausting. So it’s no surprise that nearly half of couples are too spent (or over-served) to have sex on the wedding night and end up crashing instead. If it works out, mazel tov! But if it doesn’t happen, don’t sweat it. Don’t put unnecessary pressure on yourselves to do the deed when neither of you is really into it. That will only lead to disappointment. Instead, rest up, recharge and postpone the wedding night sex until your honeymoon instead. Once you’ve both had a minute to relax, you’ll be in the right frame of mind to enjoy being newlyweds.

Darren Younge (Founder, Well-Groomed)
Twitter: @wellgrmd

Not even a little important. There’s no point in forcing it if you’re not feeling it. After months of dealing with in-law drama, wedding details, and budget dilemmas, it’s understandable. If the reception leaves you too tired or boozy to hit the sheets, then by all means, wait until you’re relaxing oceanside with the Mrs.

Brian Leahy (Founder, The Groom Says)
Twitter: @thedaddysays

There’s one thing I know for certain: if you carry your stunning bride down that Hampton Inn hallway and across the threshold and announce upon entry that you’re ready to “do the deed,” then I guarantee that’s gonna be the only entry you see that night. I’m not at all surprised that over half of newlyweds can’t pull it together on their wedding night. You’re both drenched in sweat, sore in the legs from dancing, sore in the mouth from smiling, and that hangover is only moments away. On any other “ordinary” night, sex would be the farthest thing from your mind. So don’t put too much stress on it — cause you kids have got plenty of time to do the dirty. And cause it’s much more likely that you’ll be hitting up Taco Bell at 2AM in your full wedding get-up, hoping the dude working late-night throws some free chalupas your way.

Holly Steen (Owner, Cakes & Kisses Photography)
Twitter: @cakesandkisses

My husband says the importance of sex on the wedding night is very important if the couple hasn’t had sex for religious or biblical reasons. But if a couple has been living together or had premarital relations it doesn’t seem that important. Because weddings are such an extravagant day, not just a 20 minute ceremony. Couples are spending thousands for a 6 hour party to celebrate. By the wedding night they are too exhausted from the first dance, toasts, last dance, etc. So everyone understands why they don’t consummate. I say, it is vital to have the connection after such a beautiful celebration of your wedding with friends and family. It completes the translation from fiancé/fiancée to husband/wife. Isn’t the divorce rate the same as the couples who wait to consummate till the honeymoon?

Ian (Founder, A Groom’s Diary)
Twitter: @agroomsdiary

If you’re having a Dances With Wolves themed wedding it is part of the deal that everyone follows you to your teepee and stands outside while it happens. But I’ve read that only 47% of weddings in the US are Dances With Wolves themed…so that may not be for everyone. I say it’s important. Our wedding night the skies parted and the continents moved. Literally. Clouds cleared and there was an earthquake while we were consummating. You need to do it, just to try to top our earth and skies wedding night.


Married couples: if you feel comfortable sharing, leave a comment below and tell us if you and your husband got it done on the wedding night. If you didn’t, why?

Expert Forum: Joint Bachelor(ette) Parties?

Wednesday, March 6th, 2013

Bachelor and bachelorette parties are known as rites of passage for grooms and brides. These “last nights out” offer a great opportunity to have one last bash with close friends before walking down the aisle. While typically thought of as guys’ and girls’ nights only, a growing trend has couples bucking the norm and planning joint parties

We pulled together some of our favorite wedding experts to see if this concept passes the sniff test.

joint bachelor(ette) beach party

More and more couples are choosing to do a coed bachelor(ette) party. How do you feel about this trend? Should the groom and bride have separate “last nights out” or are you on board with the idea of joint parties?

Chris Easter (Co-Founder,
Twitter: @chriseaster
Google Plus: +Chris

With couples getting married at old ages, it doesn’t surprise me to see this trend growing. I think it’s all about personal preference and lifestyle. If the couple has put their hard partying days behind them, I don’t see anything wrong with a night or weekend outing with their closest friends to celebrate the end of single life. Remember, there’s no official rule book for these types of parties. To each their own.

Ian (Author, A Groom’s Diary)
Twitter: @agroomsdiary

Grooms: If your wife-to-be demands this idea, run. Now.
Brides: If your husband-to-be accepts this idea, run. Now.

She’s a psycho or he’s a pushover. No exceptions.

This idea might be the only wedding trend worse than the unity candle.

(I’d write more but I’ve got to get ready for my buddy’s bachelor party tonight.  We’re going to make him drink three pints of generic brand vodka, force him to gamble his nest-egg and then take pictures of strippers dancing over his lifeless corpse, just like he always dreamed we would.)  (And his marriage will be better for it.)

Kara Horner (Blogger & Media Director,
Twitter: @TMR_Kara

While it may be tempting to for a tight-knit group of friends to have a co-ed bachelor(ette) party, I think it’s important for both the bride and groom to schedule some quality girls-only and guys-only time before the big day arrives. It can be a great opportunity to bond with your bridesmaids and groomsmen before the wedding, especially if you don’t often have the chance to get the whole group together due to busy schedules or family life or being spread out across the country. Once you’re a married couple, you’ll likely go out with friends together the majority of the time, so it’s nice to maintain a few separate interests and hang out individually with the guys or girls every now and then.

James Bennett (Founder, Firefly Bachelor Party Planning)
Twitter: @firefly_events

As Bachelor and Bachelorette party planners we don’t think that joint parties are a matter of ‘should’. The Co-ed party isn’t going to be a great idea for every couple. But it can be every bit as fun as the individually celebrated parties. However, our recommendation is to always take elements from both scenarios. Plan an activity for the boys and girls separately the meet up and do something as a large group. You’re still celebrating your friendship and placing focus on the bride or groom individually. But allowing for large group antics. The ultimate goal of a bachelor/ette party is to celebrate the huge step your friend is taking in the manner that fits your friend.

Darren Younge (Founder, Well-Groomed)
Twitter: @wellgrmd

I don’t have a problem with co-ed bachelor(ette) parties, especially if the couple genuinely gets along with each others friends. You’ll have to mix and mingle for the rest of your lives, might as well start now. Besides, who doesn’t love one big party? If you do decide to go your separate ways for your party, skip the stripper/bar/casino scene, which will only lead to trouble. Just ask A. C. Slater and that Doritos girl. Instead, take a road trip to do some outdoorsy, sporty guy thing or have a golf weekend. It really doesn’t matter what you and the guys do, as long as you don’t find yourself with some strange girl’s panties on your head at the end of the night.

Shulie Lo (Social Maven, Robbins Brothers)
Twitter: @RobbinsBrothers

No. No. No. Nope. Not going to happen. The bachelor(ette) party is the last time that you can bond with your friends. The last hurrah. You have the rest of your married life with your husband to look forward to, so why not go out with a bang with your best friends? Your entourage. It’s not about not trusting your significant other with strippers (which should be a red flag), but more about bonding with the girls (or guys) that have been with you every step of the way. Even if you have a lot of mutual friends that would love to celebrate together, you may have some friends that want to participate in some sisterly bonding. If you feel that you must have a joined party and celebrate together, you could always throw a third event. Perhaps a low-key “We’re Getting Married!” party.

Connect with post author Chris Easter on Google+, Pinterest and Facebook.

What’s your take on joint bachelor(ette) parties? Post a comment below with your thoughts.

Expert Forum: Which Band or Singer Would Play Your Wedding Reception?

Tuesday, January 29th, 2013

When it comes to your wedding reception entertainment, decisions can be tough. You want to find a band or DJ that caters to your taste but can also entertain your diverse guests. Wouldn’t the decision be much easier if you could just pick your favorite band or singer to perform?

We pulled together a group of our favorite wedding experts to talk about this intriguing concept.

frank sinatra wearing hat

‘Ol Blue Eyes was a popular pick amongst our experts

If you could choose one band or singer (past or present) to play your wedding reception, who would it be and why?

Chris Easter (Co-Founder,
Twitter: @chriseaster

1 word: Psy.

Just kidding. As much as I’d love to see grandma trying to do the Gangnam Style dance moves, I think I’d have to go with something a little more sane. Frank Sinatra is an easy choice here, but I want to differentiate myself from the panel. To me, Bruno Mars is one of the top contemporary blends of great singer and performer. Hearing his take on some of our favorite songs would be fascinating and he’d definitely have no issue getting people out on the dance floor. The only rule is that he’d have to bring his killer backup band.

Anne Chertoff (Wedding Editor)
Twitter: @AnneChertoff

I think Frank Sinatra would be great at a wedding. He could totally MC the reception — conversing with the guests between songs. And who wouldn’t love a crooning Sinatra singing their first dance and parent dance songs.  For dancing, he may not have a lot of songs to get the party moving, but that’s what after parties are for!

Kara Horner (Blogger & Media Director,
Twitter: @TMR_Kara

There are so many amazing bands to choose from that it really depends on the couple’s favorite bands and the style of their wedding. For the cocktail hour or a more casual or boho-style wedding, I’d go with The Lumineers. The band offers a fun, folksy and romantic vibe that’s sure to entertain your guests, and songs like “Ho Hey” and “Stubborn Love” are great for weddings. For a band that’s sure to please crowds of all generations, it’s tough to beat The Rolling Stones. They offer a great mix of both slower and up-tempo music. A classic song such as “Wild Horses” is a great pick for the first dance and hits like “Sympathy for the Devil” and “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” will keep your guests on the dance floor all night long.

Brian Leahy (Author, The Groom Says)
Twitter: @TheGroomSays

No question — our choice entertainment would be the late and great Mr. James Joseph Brown. (I might have gone with the Parliament, but they’re generally too funkadelic for the old folks.) So what if James is a little out there and does PCP between sets? So what if he steals my mother-in-law’s shawl and wears it like a cape for the remainder of the evening? That’s what makes him James-effing-Brown. (“HA!”)

If the band or performer or DJ you’ve selected doesn’t have the energy to get butts on the dance floor, then that reception is a sinking ship that cannot be saved. But as soon as Mr. Brown jumps into “Get Up Offa That Thing,” even your rhythmless aunt with the bum knee is gonna shake a leg — her good leg, that is. And look, we’ll just all agree to turn away when James closes the evening with “Sex Machine”… and sings it directly to your grandmother.

Emma Arendoski (Founder, Emmaline Bride)
Twitter: @EmmalineBride

If I could choose one band or singer (past or present) to play my wedding reception, it would be Frank Sinatra.  At the risk of sounding cliché, it would be pretty amazing to hear Ol’ Blue Eyes himself crooning The Way You Look Tonight and It Had to Be You.  A style of music that encourages guests of all ages to get up and dance is always a plus… and classic, timeless tunes never go out of style.

Ian (Author, A Groom’s Diary)
Twitter: @agroomsdiary

The challenge of any band at a wedding is that it limits the genre of music that can be played. Even a great rock singers would have trouble doing a Michael Jackson cover. And it is for this reason that many couples end up hiring a DJ, so they can hear all of their favorite artists.  That balance is tough to replicate and tough to overcome…

With one exception.

The easy selection for my one artist for a wedding would be Bob Carlisle.

Many of you are probably saying, “Who is Bob Carlisle?” And the rest of you are probably saying, “Ian–are those your real calves?”  And to answer the second part first, yes, they are.  But while you may not know the name Bob Carlisle, you absolutely know his smash hit, Butterfly Kisses.

Much in the way that you should not be allowed to get married if you don’t break off in the middle of your first dance and start into a hilarious–and totally un-cliched–choreographed pop dance routine, no wedding should be deprived of this magical, and in no way creepy song.

It is the embodiment of a daughter’s love for his daughter, and we shouldn’t be turned off by the fact that it is completely uncomfortable and awful.  He loves his daughter.  I mean–it is really sweet!  “One part woman, the other part girl.” That’s totally what normal dads say!  And they always write songs about “sticking” things “all up in” their daughters!  Much in the way that this loving father, who is not allowed within 500 feet of an elementary school, “deserves” “a hug every morning and Butterfly Kisses at night”, your wedding deserves this amazing song to be played live!

Marta Block (Editorial Director,
Twitter: @Gigmasters

I’ve been vocally and publicly in love with David Bowie since I was thirteen years old, but I don’t think I’d want the Thin White Duke to play at my wedding. For one thing, it would be sort of awkward for my husband when I tried to leave the reception with the entertainment. Instead, I think I’d chose the Stray Cats! What? For starters, I was a teen in the 1980s, so their music is part of the soundtrack of my life. More importantly though, The Stray Cats is what any good wedding band is, they’re versatile. They can play any sort of music and make it their own. For me the most important things in wedding music are versatility, showmanship, and dancing. Stray Cats definitely fit the bill.

Now it’s your turn to answer the question. Take to the comment section and tell us your dream choice for wedding entertainment.

Expert Forum: What Are the Top 2013 Groom Trends?

Monday, January 14th, 2013

After another solid year for grooms, it’s time to look ahead to what 2013 has to offer. Instead of just listing our favorite new groom trends, we’ve invited some of our favorite experts in the wedding industry to also weigh in.

2013 groom wedding trends

2013 promises to be another great year for creative groom trends.

What’s your favorite groom trend for 2013?

Chris Easter (Co-Founder,
Twitter: @chriseaster

At the risk of getting laughed off of this forum, my favorite 2013 trend is that grooms are flocking to starting to dip their toes into the waters of Pinterest. Sure, it may sound funny at first — but if you really break it down, there’s nothing to snicker about. Pinterest’s massive collection of user-generated wedding pinboards offers the biggest collection of attire options, groomsmen gift ideas and how-to articles that men will find online.

Marta Block (Editorial Director,
Twitter: @Gigmasters

The end of the Do Not Play list: we know, you really don’t want to hear The Electric Slide, We Are Family, or Let’s Get This Party Started at your wedding. Your wedding is not cliché and tacky. But as more couples realize that the wedding isn’t just about them and their tastes, but about throwing a great party and taking care of their guests, they’re loosening up on their restrictions for the band and DJ. Instead of a detailed “do not play” list, couples are working harder to choose a DJ or band that they feel understands the mood they want for the party and letting that professional do his or her job and choose appropriate music. Some couples are also creating “By request only” lists. You may not like “Shout” but if enough people ask about it can the DJ play it? If no one is on the floor, can the DJ try “The Cha Cha Slide”? These kind of looser rules create one less thing for the couple to micromanage.

Kara Horner (Blogger & Media Director,
Twitter: @TMR_Kara

The food truck trend will continue to grow for 2013 weddings. Urban dwelling grooms (and brides) obsessed with a local restaurant’s or street truck’s fare (anything from tacos, burgers and fries and Philly cheese steak sandwiches to waffles, cupcakes and ice cream) can indulge on their wedding day as well as share their favorite foodie finds with their wedding guests. In addition to providing catering services, food trucks can add a fun, personalized and casual vibe to a less formal wedding. They can often also serve as a more budget-conscious option compared with traditional catering services. Food trucks can be tasked with spicing up the rehearsal dinner or cocktail hour (in place of traditional hors d’oeuvres), serve as a specialty area during the wedding reception, cater the entire evening or even cater the wedding after-party for guests who aren’t yet ready to call it a night.

Shulie Lo (Social Maven, Robbins Brothers)
Twitter: @RobbinsBrothers

One of the trends we are starting to love is the mismatched groomsmen attire. It feels much more relaxed and really gives each groomsman a chance to show off their individual personalities. We like to see it as a fresh new spin on the mismatched bridesmaids idea. We don’t want to completely abandon the matching suits look, but throwing in something different makes it look a little less “stiff uniform” and more “I’m here to party!

Something else that we’ve found ourselves pinning are the grooms showing off their interests (besides the tiny groom’s cake). Plan some fun photo ops that include the groom’s passions. Making it a little fun and giving your entire celebration your personal touch? Now that will always be trending.

Azure Nelson (Editorial Director,
Twitter: @onewed

I’m seeing a lot of grooms ditching the typical Vegas bachelor party in favor of something more low-key, which is a trend I absolutely love (…especially since my groom-to-be’s bachelor party is happening in 2013!). They’re thinking more sport, less stripper, and actually planning bashes that allow for quality male bonding. Things like, renting a cabin in Colorado for skiing, golfing and boating in Florida or Arizona, or road-tripping to Austin or Nashville for the music scene.

Casey Fatchett (Owner, Casey Fatchett Photography)
Twitter: @caseyfphoto

In 2013, I see many more grooms becoming interested in the ‘style’ of their wedding portraits, especially their photos with the groomsmen. Whether they are on Pinterest or not (or whether they want to admit they are on Pinterest), grooms are seeing many more photos before the wedding day. Let’s face it, guys are very visual. Now that they are seeing the photos, they have a better idea of what they want. I have already started to see a transition away from grooms saying “Let’s just line up, get the pictures, and move on” to a desire for a more GQ-style aesthetic to their photos. Grooms are also taking the time to get in touch before the wedding to plan out the photo process, which is something that happened very rarely in the past. They are trying to move away from the old cliches such as “standing in a line with arms crossed looking tough” or “let’s all walk towards the camera like in Reservoir Dogs” (though that shot does usually come out looking pretty awesome – I guess that’s why it has become cliche) and moving towards something that is more unique to them as well as stylish.

Apart from the photography side of things, I have seen a trend towards grooms offering something that is personal to them at the reception, whether it be a Scotch tasting bar, a selection of their favorite beers, etc. Grooms are becoming more involved in the planning process and are finding outlets in the wedding to show their own interests in personality.

James Bennett (Planner of the Best Bachelor Parties the World Has Ever Known, Firefly Group Events)
Twitter: @firefly_men

Groom dress-up. I’m still mad at the British because of the Spice Girls. We didn’t deserve that. Every now and then they get something right. For years they’ve been getting it right with the bachelor party. They do a lot of the same things we do  ie drink, forget, and destroy. But where they really excel is in the realm of the Groom. No Groom makes it out the door of the hotel with being forced to wear a ridiculous costume. My brother-in-law was forced to dress as a busty cheerleader, skirt and all. When his best mate got married, he was forced to dress as the Queen. Why don’t we do this?Think of the possibilities! Don’t let the groom coast by with a shirt that says “buy me a shot”. He deserves better from us(unitard maybe?).  I’d like to challenge the Men of America in 2013 to embrace this tradition from across the pond. Dress him as a ballerina or Nikki Minaj – it doesn’t matter as long as it’s ridiculous.  Don’t let the British win.

and last, but certainly not least….

Ian (Author, A Groom’s Diary)
Twitter: @agroomsdiary

I’m invited to participate in these types of posts because The Man Registry wants me to lose my mind and go off on a tirade about something frivolous, like how ridiculous it is that there are grownups who think it is socially acceptable to drink Dr. Pepper.

But I digress.

For once I’m going to play it straight, because if I learned anything in the process of watching my wife plan our wedding, its that wedding trends follow a clear pattern:

They come.
They get abused.
They go.

So what is the one trend that doesn’t go out of style?

It’s that you’re male and should stop worrying about wedding trends.  In the words of Don Vito Corleone, “YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN! WHAT’S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

I say buck the trends.  Be the sturdy, unartistic, uncreative man that you are and push for the classic, simple pleasures at your wedding that remind your friends that you’re the coolest guy that they know.

A white dress and a black tux.
An open bar and a closed-minded relatives who leave before the party really starts.
Hot, single bridesmaids and cold, double cocktails.
Light appetizers on the lawn and heavy petting on the dance floor.
That one guy’s toast that’s a hair too long and that one girl’s dress that’s a hair too short.

But above all, take the advice of someone who has been through this and let your wife run the show.  (And in the rare event that she does want your opinion, forget what you see in her magazines and go with what has always worked.)

Let “Acting like a man” serve as this writer’s favorite wedding trend of 2013…

What’s YOUR favorite groom trend for 2013? Which trend would you like to see fade away? Chime in with a comment below.

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