Guest Blogger: Simon Daykin

OK guys, everyone gives out wedding planning advice. Most (myself included) forget everything they hear.  I’m gonna let you know of 5 easy tips you can make to make the planning process easier on the groom and  bride.  And if we’re honest here…a happy Bride makes the process SO MUCH EASIER!  So take heed fellas, grab a pen or hit print on your computer and file these away for a rainy day so you can surprise your Bride-to-be with your awesomeness.

Be A Groom Who Takes

By this I mean take stuff OFF her plate.  Go through the things on her “need to do” list, find stuff that you’re interested in and take them over.  It’s not that tough and could be fun.  If you like music and food, take those and own them.  Look for DJ’s or bands, get their demo cd and check them out.  Go to the hotel and talk to the chef, see if you can help design the menu.  You will of course want to take your fiancé to the tasting but you can do all the leg work leading up to it.  Don’t just sit back and let her try to do everything.  The marriage is a team effort, so is the wedding and the planning should be as well.

An involved groom equals a happy bride.

Listen, Listen, Listen

As the planning process goes along, your Bride is going to need to talk to you.  You must listen to her.  She may not need you to fix anything, she may just need you to listen.  (If you get confused, as I do…ask her what she wants you to do, but ask nicely)  Sure there are forums and what not, but sometimes she will have to talk to you.  Be patient and see what she wants you to do.  She may be complaining about how many DJ’s she is having to contact (See above section) if she is complaining about getting overwhelmed, then see if she wants to hire a planner (Here’s a good one). The most important thing to do is listen to her.

Take Time For The Two Of You

Make time for the two of you to do stuff that isn’t wedding related.  Sounds simple but a lot of people forget this one.  Go out to dinner, but don’t talk about the wedding, go see a movie, you’re not even allowed to talk there.  Go out with friends and have a good time.  Try to do something non wedding related at least once a week.  It’ll help you get back to normal.  My wife and I run this company together, we work together every day, it’s pretty hard to not talk about wedding planning at dinner…but we try and so should you.  It helps.  So feel free to surf blogs and gossip pages while you’re at work so you have something to talk about when you get home.

Give A Little Along The Way

Give her stuff, it doesn’t have to be huge things.  Sometimes flowers and a nice card will make all the difference to her.  Things to let her know you are thinking of her and you love her and you can’t wait to get married to her.  You can set this up in your work calendar so you get prompted when the time comes.  She’ll think it’s spontaneous (but you’ll know better)  You can get romantic about it and as the days lead up to the wedding, you could send her something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.  Just be sure to explain it in the card you attach.

Don’t Be Afraid To Speak Up

Speak up grooms!

This wedding is a combination of both of you.  Don’t forget this.  Sure you need to listen to her, but you need your ideas heard as well.  Don’t let her mash all your ideas into the dirt like a poorly protected quarterback (holy crap, I think that is my first sports reference in 2 years of writing this!!!)  Sure you may need to compromise on some of your ideas, but make sure you are heard and that she listens to you as well.  The wedding should be a true combination of BOTH your personalities, just as the marriage will be down the road.

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

The planning process can take its toll on couples, that shouldn’t be news to anyone.  But there are simple ways you can help to make it easier.  If you don’t support her, the whole thing is gonna suck, if you don’t get your ideas heard, you may get angry and resent you never got the wedding you wanted.  So try to make the wedding planning process a team thing. It can be fun.  It doesn’t have to be work.  How tough would it be to have the boys over on a Saturday, break out the bottles and concoct your signature drink?  Yeah, not that tough really is it!?!?  Will it really be a chore to eat a few steaks to see which one you like the best?  Nope.  So grab that list, take over some items and get on that.  Own those items guys.  She’ll love you for it…wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

So in closing, take the time to just hang out with your fiancé, and you can start this over the holidays as well.  Not every conversation needs to be about the wedding, if she doesn’t believe you…show her this E-zine.  I’m apparently an expert in this stuff so my word counts.  Good luck guys, I know you can all do it.

My girlfriend, who just got married, said that the only times she and her fiance would get into a ‘disagreement’ was when he hadn’t had anything to eat.  Sometimes he’d not want to talk about the situation but would rather huff and puff about it, for no apparent reason.  But then an hour or so later, he would come back around, apologize, and blame it on his hunger.

I have to admit, I’ve noticed my hubby in that same boat!  He gets all irritated and annoyed when I’m trying to talk to him about something he’d (normally on a full stomach) find interesting. So, does this prove that old saying correct?  “The way to a man’s heart IS through his stomach?” From what I gather, yes!

Grooms – keep in mind that Bride-to-be’s are super excited to share with you her wedding findings that day.  But, please do both of you a favor and let her know right away if you’re not ready to have a conversation about flowers, venue, or just anything wedding.  She’ll bite her tongue until you’ve had a bite to eat. It’ll save both of you time and grief!

Gretchen Viles of MyWedding.com is a weekly guest contributor to the GroomsAdvice blog. She specializes in blogging about groom’s issues from a bride’s perspective. Founded in 2002, MyWedding.com has grown into the most comprehensive easy-to-use local wedding guide on the Internet. They recently launched a wedding ideas and trends content section that focuses on all aspects of wedding planning.