Guest Blogger: Simon Daykin

OK guys, everyone gives out wedding planning advice. Most (myself included) forget everything they hear.  I’m gonna let you know of 5 easy tips you can make to make the planning process easier on the groom and  bride.  And if we’re honest here…a happy Bride makes the process SO MUCH EASIER!  So take heed fellas, grab a pen or hit print on your computer and file these away for a rainy day so you can surprise your Bride-to-be with your awesomeness.

Be A Groom Who Takes

By this I mean take stuff OFF her plate.  Go through the things on her “need to do” list, find stuff that you’re interested in and take them over.  It’s not that tough and could be fun.  If you like music and food, take those and own them.  Look for DJ’s or bands, get their demo cd and check them out.  Go to the hotel and talk to the chef, see if you can help design the menu.  You will of course want to take your fiancé to the tasting but you can do all the leg work leading up to it.  Don’t just sit back and let her try to do everything.  The marriage is a team effort, so is the wedding and the planning should be as well.

An involved groom equals a happy bride.

Listen, Listen, Listen

As the planning process goes along, your Bride is going to need to talk to you.  You must listen to her.  She may not need you to fix anything, she may just need you to listen.  (If you get confused, as I do…ask her what she wants you to do, but ask nicely)  Sure there are forums and what not, but sometimes she will have to talk to you.  Be patient and see what she wants you to do.  She may be complaining about how many DJ’s she is having to contact (See above section) if she is complaining about getting overwhelmed, then see if she wants to hire a planner (Here’s a good one). The most important thing to do is listen to her.

Take Time For The Two Of You

Make time for the two of you to do stuff that isn’t wedding related.  Sounds simple but a lot of people forget this one.  Go out to dinner, but don’t talk about the wedding, go see a movie, you’re not even allowed to talk there.  Go out with friends and have a good time.  Try to do something non wedding related at least once a week.  It’ll help you get back to normal.  My wife and I run this company together, we work together every day, it’s pretty hard to not talk about wedding planning at dinner…but we try and so should you.  It helps.  So feel free to surf blogs and gossip pages while you’re at work so you have something to talk about when you get home.

Give A Little Along The Way

Give her stuff, it doesn’t have to be huge things.  Sometimes flowers and a nice card will make all the difference to her.  Things to let her know you are thinking of her and you love her and you can’t wait to get married to her.  You can set this up in your work calendar so you get prompted when the time comes.  She’ll think it’s spontaneous (but you’ll know better)  You can get romantic about it and as the days lead up to the wedding, you could send her something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.  Just be sure to explain it in the card you attach.

Don’t Be Afraid To Speak Up

Speak up grooms!

This wedding is a combination of both of you.  Don’t forget this.  Sure you need to listen to her, but you need your ideas heard as well.  Don’t let her mash all your ideas into the dirt like a poorly protected quarterback (holy crap, I think that is my first sports reference in 2 years of writing this!!!)  Sure you may need to compromise on some of your ideas, but make sure you are heard and that she listens to you as well.  The wedding should be a true combination of BOTH your personalities, just as the marriage will be down the road.

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

The planning process can take its toll on couples, that shouldn’t be news to anyone.  But there are simple ways you can help to make it easier.  If you don’t support her, the whole thing is gonna suck, if you don’t get your ideas heard, you may get angry and resent you never got the wedding you wanted.  So try to make the wedding planning process a team thing. It can be fun.  It doesn’t have to be work.  How tough would it be to have the boys over on a Saturday, break out the bottles and concoct your signature drink?  Yeah, not that tough really is it!?!?  Will it really be a chore to eat a few steaks to see which one you like the best?  Nope.  So grab that list, take over some items and get on that.  Own those items guys.  She’ll love you for it…wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

So in closing, take the time to just hang out with your fiancé, and you can start this over the holidays as well.  Not every conversation needs to be about the wedding, if she doesn’t believe you…show her this E-zine.  I’m apparently an expert in this stuff so my word counts.  Good luck guys, I know you can all do it.

Brian from The Groom Says lays down the law on what he [and any other sane groom] won’t do.

We get a bum rap. You know, grooms. Apparently, we don’t like flowers; we don’t like colors; we don’t like to make decisions. Hard to believe, but it takes years to reverse those stereotypes, to tear down those walls. We hurt, too, ladies.

Then again, you should know that there are some things we absolutely won’t do. Yes, some stereotypes are true — that’s why they’re stereotypes. Brides, this abridged list is just a guide. Consult your groom for a complete directory.

1. Say “Fab” – No matter how “fab” something is … no matter how hard you try to drill it voodoo-style into our vocabulary … we’ll never say it. There could be a million Swarovski crystals hanging from a single centerpiece … we still won’t say it. It’s not you. It’s us.

2. Multitask At Your Level – Somewhere in our DNA we lack the chromosome that allows us to have six browser windows open while simultaneously emailing our wedding party, texting the photographer, faxing contracts, and phone conferencing with vendors. So pat us on the head and let us work at our own pace.

3. Cry Over Minor Milestones – We may tear up on the day, but don’t expect us to cry when we book the old school photo booth. We’re excited about it, too, but our lacrimal glands are limited — we need to save up our tears for the big day. We do that for you.

4. Help Plan Your Bachelorette Party - This doesn’t apply to every bride … but some do like their man’s advice when planning their last night of single womanhood. We won’t do it. It’s not that we’re uncomfortable with the idea. And we’re certainly not jealous, no matter how many police officers in tear away pants you may hire. We’re just afraid that you’ll want to reciprocate and help plan our bachelor party. And that’s just not an option.

5. Admit How Involved We Are – We know. You’re just thrilled that you are the one bride among all your bride friends who has the guy who’s involved. And, without hesitation, you’ll announce this at social gatherings, game nights, double dates, shindigs and soirees — but we won’t admit to it. We’ll laugh and deny it and quickly change the subject, especially in mixed company. So let’s keep our enthusiasm between us.

Check our more blogs on brian’s journey through the nonsensical world of wedding planning here

Guest Blogger Profile: Jennifer Napier of OneWed.com

Like grilling? A backyard BBQ rehearsal dinner can be the perfect low key event.

In the middle of wedding planning, planning one more event can seem like a slow death by water torture. But, the rehearsal dinner, can be a great outlet for you, the groom, to let your personality shine.

Typically, the dinner is held at someone’s house or a restaurant and is a more casual event than the wedding. If your suggestions for barbeque or pizza were rejected for the wedding itself, you can feel free to bring them out for the rehearsal dinner. This is also a great time for a sports-themed or funny groom’s cake.

Most importantly though, the rehearsal dinner is a more intimate event than the wedding. You’ll be surrounded only by your nearest and dearest, so feel free to let your friends get a little emotional and personal with their toasts, and feel free to do the same yourself—you big softy.

Social media services like Facebook & Twitter can simplify wedding planning

If you haven’t hopped on board the social media train by now, you’re probably never going to. Social networks like Twitter & Facebook are changing the world so fast that it’s often hard to keep up. One industry that has seen rapid change and growth due to social media is the wedding industry. With countless new resources available to brides & grooms, it’s no surprise that their wedding planning questions, dilemmas and ideas are now the thing of public record: and that’s not a bad thing!

Here are 6 of The Man Registry’s favorite ways that social media can aid in the wedding planning process:

Wedding Vendors have gone social. Literally. Hundreds of thousands of them.  Have a question? Need a basic consultation? They’re not giving their services away for free. But you can start the process of locating vendors and identifying favorites online. You can even create a Twitter list to compile names of vendors you want to follow up with.

Try a basic Twitter search for the topic you’re researching. For example: “Save the Dates.” Doing this will show you everyone who is tweeting about this topic RIGHT NOW. Browse tweets, see what you like and go from there. Lots of vendors run Twitter of Facebook specific promos. There’s no telling what kind of deals you might find.

OK, preferably ask the ones who are still married. Chances are you have many Facebook friends that are married. If you’ve got a wedding question bogging you down or you need a vendor recommendation; post it on a status update. You’ll be surprised how many responses you get Brides (and grooms sometimes) love to share their wedding planning experiences. The good ones and the not-so-good ones.

Here’s an answer to another common dilemma. If you’re planning your wedding from afar and you won’t be able to go dress/tux shopping with friends and family, we’ve got a solution. Create a Facebook album full of your possibilities and ask for suggestions. There’s nothing more beautiful than connecting from thousands of miles. Single tear running down my cheek.

You want your wedding party to get along and have fun during the wedding festivities. The best way to guarantee this happens is for them to get together (and perhaps party) before the wedding. OK. But what does a blog about social media have to do with a get together? Lots. Our good friends at OneWed.com recently launched Wedding Pre-Party. This savvy wedding planning app allows your wedding party and other guests to get to know each other, plan, share photos and more using their Facebook profiles. Check it out!

Many consider including your wedding registry info along with the invitation or save the date is tacky. Through the power of social media, you can be even more tacky and post direct links to your registry on your Facebook profile page. Hell, you can even highlight specific gifts that you really really want. Want to be less subtle? Share your registry info on your wedding web page. This works as well.

Like free stuff? Wedding bloggers love to give prizes away. Make a note to do a daily scan of your favorite wedding tweeters. I’d bet my lucky $2 bill that you can find at least one contest per day. Sometimes all you have to do is post a tweet to be entered. Here’s one from Chatterberries. The prize? A pair of his and hers designer wedding bands. All you’ve gotta do is tell them who your favorite celebrity couple is.

Planning a destination wedding? Have a lot of guests who can’t make the long trip for the wedding? No worries. Through the miracle of Ustream, you can live stream your wedding to the masses. Our friend @mbernier did just this and actually beat out an episode of ‘I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here’ in the Nielsen Rankings.

We asked some of our favorite wedding tweeters to share their #1 piece of advice to grooms and brides who want to use social media to help plan their wedding:

@OneWed – Don’t burn bridges by blabbing about your wedding on FB to the uninvited.

@MrFrostings – You can learn a lot about potential vendors by following their Twitter stream. If you’re passionate about the environment, find out who runs a sustainable business. If you’re looking for someone who gives back to the community, this is where you can confirm that they walk the talk. Also, and more importantly to me, look at who follows them and how they engage with them.  I have more respect for the “Popular” kids when I see them help and engage with competitors regardless of their status in the industry. Lastly, if you find a vendor you like and their Twitter stream is one long advertisement, expect to be sold. If they engage on a personal level, expect them to treat you like an individual.

@BarbieHull – Get feedback!!  Whenever I doubt something I put it out there and ask for opinions!  My twitter peeps always seem to have an opinion.

@AnneChertoff – If your fiance asks you for wedding ideas a quick search on Pinterest will help you gather some together quickly.

@GigMasters – Twitter can be a great way to get the inside scoop on the wedding business. A lot of wedding pros basically use it for B2B marketing. Following potential vendors gives you insight in to how they talk about their clients, and access to great articles.

@Firefly_Men – My advice falls into the “What not to do” category. As a purveyor of well planned bachelor parties I would advise AGAINST putting up your party images on Facebook and Twitter. This is hugely important to remember while under the influence of alcohol. A picture that seems funny to post at the time can have consequences when you sober up.

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We want to hear what other ways our readers have used social media in their wedding planning. Leave a comment below and share your story.