Guest Blogger: Simon Daykin

OK guys, everyone gives out wedding planning advice. Most (myself included) forget everything they hear.  I’m gonna let you know of 5 easy tips you can make to make the planning process easier on the groom and  bride.  And if we’re honest here…a happy Bride makes the process SO MUCH EASIER!  So take heed fellas, grab a pen or hit print on your computer and file these away for a rainy day so you can surprise your Bride-to-be with your awesomeness.

Be A Groom Who Takes

By this I mean take stuff OFF her plate.  Go through the things on her “need to do” list, find stuff that you’re interested in and take them over.  It’s not that tough and could be fun.  If you like music and food, take those and own them.  Look for DJ’s or bands, get their demo cd and check them out.  Go to the hotel and talk to the chef, see if you can help design the menu.  You will of course want to take your fiancé to the tasting but you can do all the leg work leading up to it.  Don’t just sit back and let her try to do everything.  The marriage is a team effort, so is the wedding and the planning should be as well.

An involved groom equals a happy bride.

Listen, Listen, Listen

As the planning process goes along, your Bride is going to need to talk to you.  You must listen to her.  She may not need you to fix anything, she may just need you to listen.  (If you get confused, as I do…ask her what she wants you to do, but ask nicely)  Sure there are forums and what not, but sometimes she will have to talk to you.  Be patient and see what she wants you to do.  She may be complaining about how many DJ’s she is having to contact (See above section) if she is complaining about getting overwhelmed, then see if she wants to hire a planner (Here’s a good one). The most important thing to do is listen to her.

Take Time For The Two Of You

Make time for the two of you to do stuff that isn’t wedding related.  Sounds simple but a lot of people forget this one.  Go out to dinner, but don’t talk about the wedding, go see a movie, you’re not even allowed to talk there.  Go out with friends and have a good time.  Try to do something non wedding related at least once a week.  It’ll help you get back to normal.  My wife and I run this company together, we work together every day, it’s pretty hard to not talk about wedding planning at dinner…but we try and so should you.  It helps.  So feel free to surf blogs and gossip pages while you’re at work so you have something to talk about when you get home.

Give A Little Along The Way

Give her stuff, it doesn’t have to be huge things.  Sometimes flowers and a nice card will make all the difference to her.  Things to let her know you are thinking of her and you love her and you can’t wait to get married to her.  You can set this up in your work calendar so you get prompted when the time comes.  She’ll think it’s spontaneous (but you’ll know better)  You can get romantic about it and as the days lead up to the wedding, you could send her something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.  Just be sure to explain it in the card you attach.

Don’t Be Afraid To Speak Up

Speak up grooms!

This wedding is a combination of both of you.  Don’t forget this.  Sure you need to listen to her, but you need your ideas heard as well.  Don’t let her mash all your ideas into the dirt like a poorly protected quarterback (holy crap, I think that is my first sports reference in 2 years of writing this!!!)  Sure you may need to compromise on some of your ideas, but make sure you are heard and that she listens to you as well.  The wedding should be a true combination of BOTH your personalities, just as the marriage will be down the road.

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

The planning process can take its toll on couples, that shouldn’t be news to anyone.  But there are simple ways you can help to make it easier.  If you don’t support her, the whole thing is gonna suck, if you don’t get your ideas heard, you may get angry and resent you never got the wedding you wanted.  So try to make the wedding planning process a team thing. It can be fun.  It doesn’t have to be work.  How tough would it be to have the boys over on a Saturday, break out the bottles and concoct your signature drink?  Yeah, not that tough really is it!?!?  Will it really be a chore to eat a few steaks to see which one you like the best?  Nope.  So grab that list, take over some items and get on that.  Own those items guys.  She’ll love you for it…wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

So in closing, take the time to just hang out with your fiancé, and you can start this over the holidays as well.  Not every conversation needs to be about the wedding, if she doesn’t believe you…show her this E-zine.  I’m apparently an expert in this stuff so my word counts.  Good luck guys, I know you can all do it.

Guest Blogger Profile: Simon Daykin

You don’t want this guy to BE YOU!!!!  Leading up to your wedding you want to be relaxed, you want to know everything is good hands and that you can chill out on the day and pretty much just show up, stand in the right place, say I do and kiss your bride a lot.  But there is road that leads to this Zen wedding day feeling, and I know guys hate to ask for directions on any road…even a metaphorical one, so here I am with a map for you.  It’s just three simple tips but they help, oh boy do they ever help!

Get Involved!!!

I cannot stress this enough!  Get involved with the wedding planning process.  You don’t have to sink yourself into the nitty gritty details of everything.  But attend the décor meeting, voice your opinions and be heard.  That way you know there will be no surprises when you walk into your reception.  Pink bows all over the place anyone!?!  I wanted all our bridesmaids to wear the same shoes, seems simple enough but I was the only one who felt that way.  I got my opinion heard and they all had the same shoes on when I showed up.  Makes sense to me though, same dress = same shoes.  So get involved in all the meetings with your planner that you can, visit the venue, help pick the menu, research the DJ, help pick out the ceremony music and your first dance tune.  It’s not that hard, and it can be fun as well.  Plus you get to bond with your bride to be and they love that!

Pamper Yourself, It’s OK & You Deserve It

This should really only apply if you help out with the planning process, if you do some work you can reward yourself.  But here we go ‘cause I know you’ll step up and get involved.  Pamper may sound silly but the only other phrase I could think of was “manper” and that sounds sillier to me.  Set up a couples massage for you and your bride to be, hell set up monthly appointments if you like.  It’ll keep you relaxed during the planning and leading up to the wedding.  Book yourself in for a manicure, make sure your nails look good for the wedding because you know that shot of your hands and the rings will be taken, nothing worse than chewed up split nails.  Get a haircut, a few weeks before the wedding, but head into a great stylist and get the full treatment, while you’re there get the warm face cloth massage and a shave, a real one, with a straight razor.  You may want to book another massage and facial for you the morning of the wedding to release any left over tension.  It’s up to you.

There Are Suits And Then There Are Suits, Your Should Be The Latter

Engraved Black Border Cufflinks from TheManRegistry.com

I always get on you guys about looking good.  And this issue will be no different!  HA.  Whether you buy a suit or you rent a suit you need to “own” the suit.  Make sure it fits…properly.  The shoulder pads sit ON your shoulders and the jacket hugs your torso.  If you feel comfortable in your suit, it will show and you’ll feel better throughout the day in general, trust me on this I do know a few things!  Make the suit your own…add your own shirt, don’t EVER wear the patent leather rental shoes, other dudes sweaty feet have been in there!!!  Add your own accessories like cufflinks, pocket squares and killer watch.  EnglishLaundry.com has just come out with a new line of cufflinks and PocketsSquarez.com has all manner of pocket squares for you and the prices are good!  You’ll feel better knowing that when people tell you that you look good, they mean it and they aren’t just being nice.  And if you feel better, the day will be even better than you thought it could be, of course you may have to cut the party short because your bride can’t wait to get you back to the room, but that’s the downside of being so “ridiculously good looking” and stylish!

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

Feeling good can come to you in a wild variety of ways.  But it has been proven that if YOU feel good, others around you will feel better and you will be the coolest guy in the room, well the last isn’t fact…but all the guys I style sure are.  Take the time to make yourself feel good, this should be every day, but especially leading up to your wedding.  Less stress is good.

Getting involved with the planning process is something you should do anyway.  I know you’re busy and may be tired, but this is an event that should only happen once in your life and you should be a apart of as much of it as you can be.  And again, trust me on this, your bride will notice and you’ll be better off for it (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

And on a final note, NEVER, EVER have your stag or any other drinking themed events the night before your wedding.  Seriously, I will find you and walk down the aisle next to you asking you if “you’d like a greasy pork chop served in a dirty ashtray”.  This wedding cost a lot of money, you love your wife to be and all these folks came in to see you do this thing.  So have the respect not to get right-plowed the night before, it’s common sense, but we’re guys and it’s always….”oh I’ll be fine tomorrow”.  Well no, you may not be, and you don’t want to stink of booze or puke on someone so forgo the silly juice and get a good night’s sleep.