Today our good friend Brad Wellen from The Campus Socialite shares his viewpoints on the pitfalls of engagements between college students.  If you’re not familiar with the site, The Campus Socialite is the leading voice for all things college and has amassed a loyal following of thousands of students and alumni nationwide.

Ahh, to be young and wild and free, just like that adorable Canadian Bryan Adams sang in his hit single “Heaven” off 1984 album Reckless.  College is all about, well, youth, recklessness, and freedom. Damn, Adams must have been some sort of sorcerer because that dude nailed my campus experience in a song that debuted one year before I was even born.  But I digress…  college was such an unbelievable experience because I had full independence in every area of my life and couldn’t have been happier with this type of autonomy.  Now, this is not to say that I didn’t have some responsibilities (i.e. making sure I got to my first scheduled class of the day at 2pm, going to the gym 5 days a week to maintain my sexy, and polishing off at least 6 cans of Bud Light each night to help the homeless men and women of the community get back on their feet 5 cents at a time), but I did have more than enough time to get my rocks off in the university setting. When I think of one word to describe the antithesis of the rowdy college lifestyle, I keep coming back to “commitment.”  Sure, students are committed to maintaining a passing GPA and not drinking yourself into complete oblivion, but other than that you really can let yourself go.  So, if you’re anything like I was at school, you wouldn’t even dream of getting engaged while still at college – it’s a death wish against youthful exuberance. A healthy marriage is all well and good when you’re older, but let me show you that you’ve got an awful lot of living to do before you make the promise to take a walk down the aisle before you walk for your diploma.

As much as I love our generation, it’s time for a reality check – face it, we tend to bite off more than we can chew.  At some point in every kid’s formative years, they will think they are invincible and can conquer the world.  It is at this dangerous time that suspect decisions are made; these choices can range from something as harmless as a particularly outrageous faux hawk haircut to something as life altering as driving drunk or, brace yourself, getting married before you graduate college.

Divorce Cake

If there is one thing that teen romantic comedies have taught us, it is that love is transient and young kids fall in and out of love about as quickly as I walked out of Major League III: Back to the Minors (and I didn’t even have a ride home at that age).  If you think I am just a pessimist, then I’m afraid I’m gonna have to burst your bubble with some research based statistics on college-aged engagements:

•    Half of teen marriages end in divorce within 15 years
•    More than one-third of marriages for those that wed soon after age 20 end in divorce.

Although many college students may think they know everything there is to know about their world, few reach their true intellectual maturity before the age of 25.  So, even if everything seems in place and set for the future, just understand that your age alone can be reason enough to declare you too inexperienced to enter into the sacred bonds of matrimony.  There is no shortage of external forces working against undergrads that marry as they have to deal with commitment concerns, major financial hurdles, and potential parenting responsibilities.  These issues are overwhelming for even the most prepared adults; you can only imagine how heavy they weigh on kids who should be worried about midterms and finals and not mortgages and family planning.

Aside from the likelihood of a college engagement leading to a marriage that ends in divorce, there is the undeniable truth that it will cut short your opportunity to properly transition from childhood into adulthood.  When you need to focus your attention toward ensuring that your marriage lasts and your future is secure, you will find it far more difficult to find the time and money needed for higher education, world travel, and advancing your career.  Imagine how much it would suck for a young athlete or musician to have to cut their pursuit of a dream short because they couldn’t balance the demands of raising a family and maintaining a marriage with their lifelong ambition.

I think it is totally acceptable to meet your future husband or wife while away at school, but I cannot in all good conscience advise any students to get engaged prior to having their entire house in order.  Make sure you have your diploma, a steady income, and most importantly, the unwavering confidence that you are ready to spend the rest of your life with the person you marry before you even think of saying “I do.”  Feel free to chime in with your own opinions on college engagement, but I think by now you know where I stand.  Live it up now at school, there is plenty of time to be an adult later.

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Did you get engaged while in college? Are you considering it? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below!

Pop the question with platinum and you'll feel like a rock star.

By Jewelry and Style Expert Michael O’Connor

Performing your platinum-hit-single to a stadium full of screaming fans or proposing to your girlfriend, both take nerves of steel. But many rock stars have done both successfully. Look at “Fall Out Boy” bassist Pete Wentz who proposed to Ashlee Simpson with a whopping 4-carat rock set into platinum, valued at over $100,000.00. Or look at guitarist Rob Patterson who proposed to Carmen Electra with an unusual black diamond set into platinum.  So you think you’re a rock star just cause you’ve decided to ask her? Well your performance hasn’t even begun! You’ve got to buy the ring of her dreams in a setting that matches her style and you’ve got to pick the right time and place to propose. You’ve got lots to do before you get your standing ovation.

Don’t worry! You can still propose like a rock star and you don’t have to have a chart-topping single or a sold-out European tour to afford it.

Jean Dousset $2,550 Platinum Engagement Ring (left). Michael C. Fina $1,690 Platinum Engagement Ring (right)

Let’s look at the costs of an engagement ring. I’m sure you’ve heard of the “two-month salary” guideline – two months salary is an appropriate amount to spend on an engagement ring. Well, let that go!  You’ve got to set a budget that’s comfortable for you but, more importantly it’s how you allot that budget. I suggest this. Assign approximately 80% to the diamond but, as important, apply approximately 20% to the setting. Too many people get caught up in the diamond without realizing that it’s the setting that should be concentrated on. The setting is what gives the ring meaning, it’s chosen in a style that’s right for her, it can be engraved with a message to commemorate the occasion and more importantly it needs to hold the investment you’re making in a diamond securely forever. Start with the setting first and work into the diamond. It’s easier!

Gelin Abaci - $3,375 Platinum Engagement Ring

Your setting needs to do a variety of things; express her style; be the symbol of your love and lifelong commitment; protect and hold your diamond investment and ensure that the diamond will continue to sparkle and shine. Therefore, it needs to be wear-resistant, never fade in color or cast it’s own color into the diamond.  It needs to be durable enough to be worn daily and pure enough to ensure that she never develops an allergy to the metal it’s comprised of. To meet all these needs, only one metal, delivers – Platinum. Platinum wears down at a slower rate than other precious metals making it perfect for protecting a diamond and wearing daily. It’s purity means that it’s hypoallergenic. Its natural white color (unlike gold which is really yellow) won’t add color to your colorless diamond and almost every quality jewelry designer creates rings in platinum, some even starting at under $1000, making it easy to find something that will work with her style and fit within almost every budget. So now that you’ve chosen your rock-star setting, choosing a diamond is easier. Make sure you go to a trusted jeweler and tell him your 80% budget. Ask him to show you a range of diamonds that will work within that price point. Choose the perfect one then simply have him mount it into your perfect setting.

OK, time to put what you’ve learned into practice. I think I hear your warm-up band playing so get out there and go platinum!

Popping the Question is the easy part. Finding the ring ring is the challenge.

Guest Blogger Profile: Jewelry & Style Expert Michael O’Connor

Asking your girlfriend to become your wife takes a lot of guts, right? So why does it require nerves of steel to find the perfect engagement ring? Well for most guys, this will be the first big “investment” in a piece of jewelry and let’s face it, it’s not like looking up the “blue-book” value on a car where things are spelled out. It can be much more confusing when it comes to finding the right ring and the right style for her without feeling like you’re going broke.  Well here are a couple of thoughts that will help you make some good choices and still have enough money to take her to dinner to celebrate!

The first thing to consider is that nobody ever bought a car with the expectation of “till death do us part”. Most people hope a car will give them years of great service, but nobody expects the car to last for a lifetime of daily driving. An engagement ring needs to be thought about as something that must stand up to a lifetime of daily wear. This means that your thinking needs to start “from the ground up” or in this case from the mounting to the diamond.  The mounting will bear the brunt of daily wear, need to hold your expensive investment in the diamond securely for life and keep that diamond looking as good in fifty years as it does the day that it’s purchased. This is where you really can’t afford to skimp. The first tip is to set a budget that is appropriate for you and stick to it.  Whatever budget you decide reserve 20% for the mounting leaving 80% for the center diamond. The second tip is to get the best setting that you can. In my opinion, that’s platinum. Platinum may be more expensive than gold, however, the advantages of having an engagement ring set into platinum make it worth the extra. Platinum is extremely durable as a metal. Therefore, it will hold the diamond (your 80%) more securely for life. Additionally, unlike other jewelry metals, it is more durable and won’t wear down as easily. That means, less long-term maintenance on the setting and ensures that the piece will stand up to daily wear for life. Finally, platinum is a naturally white metal, unlike white gold that is really yellow treated to look white. Therefore it will keep your diamond looking great and won’t fade or loose its color. Best of all, you don’t have to empty your wallet to afford the best where platinum settings are concerned. High-end designers are creating platinum settings that start at about $1,500.

Penelope Cruze and her engagement ring

Next you’ll need to consider her personal style. A quick tip is to look at the celebrities that she likes and admires. Many celebrities are getting engaged lately and that can give you a great clue on the style she might like. For example, if she admires Emily Blunt’s style you may want to consider a similar ring to the one she received – classic round center with a modernizing collar of diamonds around the center. If she admires Molly Malaney from “The Bachelor” she might prefer a more romantic setting with micro-pave diamonds around it. If she prefers Penelope Cruz’ style, think about a colored gemstone center instead of a diamond (Penelope’s ring has a sapphire). This is a great way to help you determine what ring she will be thrilled with.

Buying an engagement ring doesn’t need to be complicated and it doesn’t have to break your bank. Go to a quality jeweler you can trust. Determine your budget. Apply the 80/20 percentage when it comes to the setting and the center stone. Get a platinum setting to ensure a lifetime of wear and security, and choose a style you know she admires by using her favorite celebrity’s style. Using these steps can almost make is almost as easy as figuring out your next car purchase.

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Special thanks to Michael O’Connor for providing this post

Groom style expert Simon Daykin of Firefly Occasions on popping the question:

It’s official, you’ve asked her dad, he said yes, you got the ring and now it’s time to pop that question!

There are two ways that this usually happens:
1. There is the well planned, thought out proposal
2. There is the spontaneous, fly by the seat of your pants proposal

Both are great, they both get the job done. Just don’t forget that ring.

Give her a marriage proposal to remember

Plan and Execute

A well planned proposal is always a good way to go. Picking a venue, planning the event, writing down what you’re planning to say to her. You may even enlist the help of a friend to video tape it (but remember to hide him well as a guy with a video camera may freak her out a bit).

Is there a place or restaurant that is special to you, maybe where you had your first date, a place you visit regularly? If so, give them a call, see if they can help you out. Order her favourite meal and set the mood with music she likes. Speak to the waiter beforehand and arrange a surprise for her, the surprise is the proposal but toss in a few extras to make her feel extra special.

One of a Kind Doesn’t Need to Bankrupt You

Being in Vegas has brought a few things to mind. Yes there are wedding chapels almost everywhere I turn, but there are also many great spots to pop that question:

* Do you want to ask your girlfriend to marry you at the top of the Eiffel tower but can’t afford to go to France? Vegas has an Eiffel tower and the exchange rate here is way better too.
* Did you want to propose in a magical castle, well Vegas has one of those too!
* What about a romantic gondola ride in Venice? It can be just as amazing at the Venetian in Vegas.

What I’m trying to say is, even if you think your first idea is out of reach, ALWAYS consider the options.

Let Loose and Go For It!

No planning, no forethought, just a ring and a prayer.

I have to tell you, this is the way I did it. I asked her father, then her mother had a go at me…then in -35′C weather and 6 inches of snow I got on one knee and asked her to marry me. I didn’t even have a ring at that point. I had to give her one of mine until I could get the real thing. The important thing is that she said yes and now we’ve almost been married for 3 years.

If I told you how to plan this kind of proposal it wouldn’t be spontaneous would it?

So I’ll tell you what NOT to do. The one thing I cannot stress enough is this…NEVER STEAL ANYONE ELSES THUNDER!!! So if you’re at a friends wedding, anniversary, baptism, bat mitzvah or really anything, DO NOT pop the question here. This is their day. I know it’s romantic and can lead to spontaneous proposals but you have to create your own special moment. That is not the right time.

Family parties are good, vacations are nice, on a blanket on the top of a hill under a tree is sweet. You get the idea. Make it special but don’t take anything away from anyone else. Besides, it’s your day, and you want everyone to remember it that way…not “oh…those guys got engaged at so and so’s wedding.”

Your girl will want all the attention on her when she gets engaged. She won’t want to share the spotlight so don’t put her in that position.

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

I’ll leave you with this…as far as the proposal goes, do what you feel comfortable with. You can ask friends for advice, ask your dad, hell…ask her dad, but be careful not to ask EVERYONE because she will catch wind of it. If you want to…feel free to ask me for advice. We can help you plan an amazing proposal and take out all the guess work with our customized proposal packages. Click here to find out more.

Guest Blogger Profile: Whiteflash.com

Proposing is tough enough, but finding the perfect diamond engagement ring, set with the perfect diamond is even tougher. To eliminate the headache, here are step-by-step instructions from Whiteflash.com, an online diamond and jewelry boutique specializing in Hearts & Arrows diamonds and diamond engagement rings.

Educate yourself. Start the diamond education process by learning about the four Cs. “Understand how diamonds are evaluated and categorized,” says Debi Wexler, founder of Whiteflash.com. The four Cs refer to clarity, cut, color and carat, and by understanding each, Wexler says, you can determine which is most important to you and then start shopping. “This will also help you determine how much you’re willing to spend,” he adds.

Because diamond education is important when engagement ring shopping, Whiteflash.com offers an interactive DVD, which features an in-depth look at each of the four Cs.

Engagement Rings by Whiteflash

Get input. Find out what she wants.  It’s better to be safe than sorry. Take her to a jewelry store – that is, if marriage has been a topic of conversation and a surprise engagement is not on your agenda.  Have her try on as many rings as possible.  Make her look at every shape of diamond and type of setting. Another way to gauge whether she prefers pear-shaped over a princess cut diamond is have her look at bridal magazines like “The Knot” or “Brides.com” or at an online diamond expert’s site like Whiteflash.com. Either way, you’ll know exactly what will make her swoon when you pop the question.

If you’re being discreet, look at the jewelry she wears on a day-to-day basis; is it classic or vintage in style? Is she prone to wear larger pieces or dainty? The other option is to ask someone close to her, like a sister or a best friend, for insight.

Let’s talk carats. As  soon as you’ve decided shape, you need to look at the carat or weight of the diamond; carat is how diamonds and other precious gemstones are measured…in “carat” weight. One carat, for example, equals 1/5 of a gram. Sometimes you will hear carat weight referred to in ‘points’. “There are 100 points in a carat and as points or carats increase, so does the price of the diamond. For example, the price per carat will be less for a .90 diamond than the price per carat for a 1.00 diamond even if the color and clarity are the same.  Determining the size of the diamond, and then the cut and color is really going to help establish your budget parameters.

Pick a color. “Color is the third most important decision in the diamond selection process,” says Bob Hoskins, senior gemologist for Whiteflash.com. Diamond color is graded according to the Gemological Institute of America or GIA Color Grading Scale – D being the whitest, and N and below color ratings showing noticeable yellow tones. “E and F have no detectable color tones to the naked eye,” says Hoskins, who graded diamonds for the Gemology Institute of America (GIA) and taught several courses on colored stones. And from G to J range, diamonds remain near colorless however, from J to M, you do begin to see a faint trace of yellow.

Whiteflash ACA, an exclusive brand of Hearts & Arrows diamonds available only through Whiteflash.com, range in color from D to I. Because of their superior cut, ACA even ‘face-up’ appear whiter than their lab-assigned grade. “A great cut improves the apparent color of any diamond,” says Hoskins.

Proposing isn't easy.. and neither is selecting that perfect engagement ring.

The cut and sparkle. Cut is the most important and perhaps the most misunderstood and controversial of the four Cs. “It’s about more than the shape of a diamond,” explains Hoskins. When we talk diamond cut, we’re talking about the exact angles, proportions, symmetry and polish that affect the way the diamond reflects light and sparkles. Diamond dealers also refer to cut as “make” – as it is the only feature of a diamond that can be controlled by man, and it must be precise. Each facet – or small plane surface on the diamond – must be cut to align perfectly with the facet opposite it. There’s not much room for error because this affects the diamond’s ability to sparkle, or what we call in the industry…brilliance

How important is clarity? Gemologists use a grading scale set forth by the Gemological Institute of America (GIA) to determine a diamond’s clarity – how clean the gem appears when viewed through a magnifier. Most diamonds contain some “inclusions” – crystalline fractures or irregular crystal growth.  The Gemological Institute of America GIA Clarity Grading Scale ranges from Internally Flawless (IF) through included (I3). Flawless (F) and Internally Flawless (IF) being the highest, with the next best grade being VVS1 and 2 or very slight inclusions followed by VS1 and 2, referring to very slight inclusions are difficult to see even with magnification.

SI1 and 2 diamonds will have slight inclusions, which are easily seen through magnification, but may remain clean to the naked eye, depending on the specific diamond. Hoskins says grades I1, I2 and I3 indicate inclusions that are visible under magnification and also to the naked eye.  The clarity of the stone you purchase will depend on your level of comfort and budget. Some advice: Inclusions are more difficult to see in ideal cut and super ideal cut diamonds, because of the exactness in the cut.

Establish a budget. After determining the four Cs, you should be able to set a budget or at least have a figure in mind for the purchase of your diamond engagement ring. The general rule of thumb is to set aside two months worth of salary. “If you’re hesitant to set a dollar amount, look at your options in diamonds and settings to get a general idea of what you’d like to spend,” advises Hoskins.

Select a jeweler. You have more options than the local jeweler around the corner. There are independently owned boutiques, national chains and now with the Internet revolution … online diamond boutiques like Whiteflash.com. No matter whom you buy from, make sure the jeweler is reputable and affiliated with the American Gem Society (AGS). If you’re unsure of the jeweler’s credibility, check with the local Better Business Bureau. You can also test how knowledgeable the staff is about diamonds, look into customer reviews and look over the company’s return and repair policies … this is important

Time to shop! Before you place the order, make sure that you will receive a grading report with your purchase. If a grading report will not accompany your diamond engagement ring, make sure the sale is contingent upon an independent appraiser’s opinion. Another option is to ask for a fingerprint of the diamond. This is a three-dimensional drawing of the diamond indicating the four Cs, along with the stone’s overall dimensions and enhancements. Inclusions and blemishes should be noted.  As soon as you receive the diamond, double-check all of the information, including the bill of sale and drawing to make sure that it is, in fact, the diamond you purchased.

When purchasing from a Whiteflash ACA diamond, customers receive the gem’s certification and a signed letter of verification from an independent graduate gemologist appraiser for insurance purposes.  We refer to all of this as “the 5th C – Confirmation.”

Set the diamond. If you purchased a loose diamond, you’re now faced with the setting. And, like diamonds, the options for diamond engagement rings are endless. Consider three stone settings, a solitaire or a custom design. We suggest allowing four to six weeks before popping the question if you go the handcrafted route. If you’re simply lost in the decision making process — propose with diamond in-hand and pick out the setting later — together!