Asking friends and family members to serve as members of your wedding party can be a very rewarding experience. However, location, money and other external factors can sometimes put the groom in tough spot when it comes to these decisions. Today we tackle a question from a reader who’s struggling to assemble his groomsmen.

Q — What do I do if I have no one to ask to be a groomsman?

Believe it or not, this situation isn’t as uncommon as you might think. Whether your top choices for groomsmen can’t make it to the wedding because they’ve moved away or are serving in the military, you’re an only child or your sibling passed away or you’ve had a falling out with your buds in the last couple of years, sometimes choosing the members of your wedding party isn’t so easy. If you don’t have any obvious choices for your best man and groomsmen, such as close friends or brothers, don’t sweat it. First, there’s no rule that says you have to have more than one groomsman, or any, for that matter. But if you prefer to have at least one person standing beside you on your wedding day, consider these options for groomsmen: your father or grandfather; your fiancée’s father or grandfather; your fiancée’s brother or best guy friend; a cousin, uncle or other extended family member; college roommate; neighbor or church friend. There’s also no rule that says your groomsmen must be men. If you have a close female friend or family member, she can serve as your best woman or as a “groomsperson” and stand on your side of the altar during the ceremony.

Another great choice: man’s best friend. Why not have your dog serve as your best man for the big day? Spike, donning a tux, can either sit near the altar, rules permitting, or be walked down the aisle by a family member or friend. Either way, he’ll be there to cheer you on.

If these ideas aren’t quite your style, another option is to forgo groomsmen and bridesmaids altogether. There’s nothing wrong with an intimate wedding day focusing on just the two of you. Feel free to skip this tradition and do whatever works best for you and your bride.

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Kara Horner is one of our resident groom advice bloggers. She has worked as writer and editor since 2001. She channels her passion for writing about weddings as a regular contributor to The Man Registry and GroomsAdvice. If you’ve got a burning question, you can connect with her on Twitter.

Are you struggling to find wedding party members? Tell us about it in the comment section below.

Guest Blogger Profile: Simon Daykin

Your Best Man is the one guy who you can count on to stand with you when all others will not.  He is unwavering in his loyalty to you.  That being said he will not stand by and not voice his opinion.  He’ll offer the facts, let you know what he thinks and then NO MATTER WHAT you decide he will stand by you.  In short, if your life was a zombie film, he’s the guy you want to have watching your back.

You’ve Chosen Him Before You’ve Chosen Her

Usually you know exactly who your best man will be even before you have asked or even chosen the girl you want to marry.  Yup, the bond can be that strong.  I knew who my best man would be before I met my wife.  We live 3000 kms apart but we’re still tight and chat every chance we get.  This is a man I would die for.

He Tells It Like It Is Even If You Don’t Like It

So make sure you have that bond, you know he’ll give you straight up answers without worrying about offending you.  Sometimes the thing not said is the worst thing NOT to say.  You need to be comfortable with each other.  Way back in the day, the best man’s job was to spend the night with the groom the night before his wedding and make sure he didn’t make a run for it.  Strange but true.  The night before my wedding, my best man and I got a case of beer and sat around reminiscing and writing our speeches.  Well, in truth, he wrote his speech, I watched a movie, drank most of the beer and ad-libbed the whole thing the next day.  It went surprisingly well.

Best Man Etiquette

Make sure he knows he is YOUR BEST MAN.  Ask him to stand by you in private.  You can ask the wedding party as a whole, but ask you BM in private.  Here are some things that will make him stand apart from the rest of your bridal party:

* Make Him Unique- Have his tie or boutonniere differ from yours AND the wedding party’s so people know he is unto himself.

* Let Him Know His Responsibilities- He’ll be making a speech, so make sure you can count on him for that.  He should know not to tell the Mexican hooker story, but some people get caught up in the moment, or the bottle…if you have the bond I mentioned earlier this will not be problem. But he won’t be offended if you run him through some rules you’d like him to follow.

* He’s Your Party Planner- This man will also be the driving force behind your stag party as well.  Another good reason to pick a guy who knows you.  There is nothing worse than showing up and finding out it’s the old “donkey show” and you went and invited both your dad and the bride to be’s father.  Stag parties take on many different faces these days.  The strip club trip, while not a thing of the past, is no longer the be all and end all of the stag experience click here for information on Gutsy Groom’s Stag packages. If there is something you REALLY WANT to do, don’t be afraid to ask to work with him on the Stag.  Or at least let him know if there is anything you 100 percent do not want.

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

Always pick a guy you know will stand by you.  This may offend or upset other friends but try to incorporate them into the wedding party or the wedding in some other way.  Real friends will understand why a certain person will be chosen to be your Best Man.  Treat him well, when picking wedding party gifts, get your best man a little something extra.  He deserves it.

If he has to travel a long distance and you can swing it, pick up his tux rental, send a kick ass car to get him from the airport or take him out for a great dinner.  He came all this way to stand by you so let him know how much that means to you.  Always be open to any questions he may have.

I have a lot of friends and I consider myself lucky enough to have quite a few good friends. But guys I would ask to stand by my side on the most important day of my life, well I can count those guys on one hand and I’m sure you can too.  It’s pretty bloody overwhelming to be a Best Man if you do it right.  And I want every man, standing next to you on that special day to be the Best Man they can be.