Posts Tagged ‘Ben the Groom’

3 Ways to Ensure Your Personal Style Makes the Wedding Cut

Thursday, September 23rd, 2010

groomsmen-wearing-sunglasses

When was the last time, if ever, you treated yourself to a brand-new outfit (head-to-toe) for one special event? Well if you’re recently engaged here’s your chance. Being a groom is an excellent chance to show off your personal style, so go all out and get what you really want. That being said, being a groom also means making sure your personal style fits into your brides overall game plan. You might have always hoped to be wearing leather saddles during your wedding, but if your wife-to-be is organizing an evening formal, you can kiss that idea goodbye.

Think of it like this, your bride is working tirelessly on every detail to make sure the ceremony is everything she has always dreamed. Sorry grooms, but your fedora and suspenders may not fit into that dream. This doesn’t mean you should wave the white flag, it just means you need an element of tact and creative thinking to make sure you’re both happy!

So, what can you do to make sure your personal taste makes it to the big day?

1. Costume Change – The ceremony is formal, important, dramatic and beautiful, and your personal taste might not fit into what she wants. However, she may be willing to compromise during the reception. Do you have a favorite style hat you’ve always imaged wearing at the wedding? Maybe skip the need to wear it during the ceremony and let it debut at the reception.  You might hate boutonnieres and have a pocket square you’d rather wear, but maybe she’ll let you make the switch after you say your I-do’s?  There are countless ways you can make your formalwear into something you want to wear, just wait till after the ceremony.

2. Picture Time – Buying accessories like a new watch, sunglasses or shoes is part of the fun of being a groom. So, if something you really want to own doesn’t make the ceremony cut, get if for the pictures! She’ll be a lot less picky with what you wear when you’re posing with your buddies. So, this is another chance when you can get what you want and show off your style, while still keeping your bride happy.

3. As You’re Leaving – Often brides and grooms will quickly change out of their formal wear for their great escape. Here lies another opportunity to get what you’ve been wanting!  Ask her what she plans to wear as you’re running to the escape car and tell her that you want to make sure you wear something fun or special.  She’ll be happy you even care and you’re on your way to a new pair of shoes!

It’s your day too guys, so make sure you like the way you look, but remember you’ll be much happier knowing she’s happy!

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Ben the Groom is a master of all things groom and is pumped to be onboard as a GroomsAdvice guest blogger. Ben is constantly searching out inspiration for style, ways to appease your fiancé, and tips to ensure smooth wedding planning. He is also dedicated to helping grooms across the globe be more involved, more capable and more prepared.

How will your personal style show up on the wedding day? Share your answer with us in the comment box below.

What Should Grooms Expect on the Wedding Day?

Thursday, July 15th, 2010
photo credit - Alex Gibbs Photography

photo – Alex Gibbs Photography

If you’re reading this post, you’re probably patting yourself on the back, congratulating yourself for being better than most grooms. Enjoy it now, because regardless of how many engagement battles you’ve conquered so far, you haven’t won the war until you’ve made it through your wedding day.  Maybe that’s a little dramatic, but seriously, you could spoil all your hard work if you decide to selfishly upset the bride days before or worse, day of the wedding.  So here are a few tips to be the best groom you can on the wedding day.

Expect to have fun. You will be surrounded by your family, best friends and your bride. This will be one of best days of your life, so enjoy it!  Don’t worry about getting cold feet, or being overwhelmed with anxiety, just try to relax and have a great time with everyone who has traveled to see you.  If you’re excited and having a great time, the wedding will be a blast! Your energy will add to the festivities and your bride will love you more for it! You don’t have to be the life of the party, just bring life to the party.

Expect to be the Best for your Bride. The day before and day of is when your bride will need you the most.  It is your job to make sure, as much as is groomanly possible, that she has the best day ever.  If she needs you by her side, you better be there.  If she needs you to go put out parking signs the night before, you better go do it!  But mostly, be prepared to be there for her in ways she probably won’t even notice.  For instance, if your groomsmen are acting like fools at rehearsal, it’s your job to get them in order.  If you see family members or vendors in her face when you can tell your bride needs a second to breathe, step in and  handle the situation.  After months of witnessing your bride handle the wedding extravaganza, you know her better then anyone so be alert and be there for her! Being the best groom on your wedding day doesn’t mean you have to do a lot, but it means you’re ready to do just about anything!

Expect the Unexpected. Hopefully everything goes right, but as you know everything could go wrong, so be prepared.  If things start going wrong, make sure you don’t escalate the problem. Instead, act like it’s not a big deal.  After the wedding, get busy telling her all the reasons why the “disaster” actually added to the wedding. For example “I bet the rain will make the pictures look incredible” or “even though it rained it was so neat having everyone together in that room… it didn’t feel to crowded in there at all.”  You get the idea.

Expect it to be a Blur. I realize now that the primary purpose of wedding photos is to let the bride and groom actually enjoy their wedding and all its glory.  You’ll be surprised by how many details you missed, how many people you didn’t talk too, and how fast everything happens.  For example, just yesterday I was informed by my wife that we walked out together to a Coldplay song.  There is so much happening at once, your emotions are being pulled in a million directions, it’s almost impossible to focus.  So enjoy the ride and fill in the details later.

I think the secret to a successful wedding is: Love your bride, expect the best from yourself, and surround yourself with good people.  I know all the work and build up of a wedding can get extremely tiresome, but it’s worth it! You’ll really believe me when you see her walking down the aisle.

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Ben the Groom is a master of all things groom and is pumped to be onboard as a GroomsAdvice guest blogger. Ben is constantly searching out inspiration for style, ways to appease your fiancé, and tips to ensure smooth wedding planning. He is also dedicated to helping grooms across the globe be more involved, more capable and more prepared.

What are you doing to prepare for the unexpected things that could happen on the wedding day? Leave us a comment below!

Groom Clues: 3 Simple Steps to Being a Better Fiance (Part 3)

Friday, February 12th, 2010

bigstockphoto_Groom_150656Today we wrap up my three part series, Groom Clues: Three Simple Steps to Becoming a Better Fiancé.  As the groom, it’s not your job to do all the work, however, having less responsibility creates higher expectations. First, I discussed using food to calm and perfect any wedding planning night.  Next, I encouraged grooms to quickly volunteer for the jobs they will excel at.  Today, I raise a topic I’m still trying to perfect: Giving your Opinion.

Step 3: Know when and how to give your opinion. When it comes to the groom’s opinion, the bride either needs it, is curious about it, or doesn’t want it at all.  Stating your opinion is walking on dangerous grounds for any groom, but keeping your mouth shut can be just as risky. Grooms, we’ve all made these mistakes, and it’s not one you want to make again. My advice is: wait until she asks, state your real opinion once, and support all of her suggestions.

If you wait until she asks, you will save yourself from saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.  Forcing your opinion on your bride is never a good idea. When she’s ready, she’ll ask.

When she asks, provide your input carefully. Whether she’s just curious, or needs your thoughts, giving your opinion one time is sufficient. No matter how strongly you feel about your opinion, giving it more than once is dangerous territory.  Your bride heard you, and knows how you feel.  And be honest—she can see right through a fake, canned answer, and giving one will be just as insulting as ignoring her. Use common sense, but try to tell the truth.

Finally, remind her that you’ll be happy either way. With all of the decisions and ideas to go over, forcing one on her will only add stress for both of you.  After you tell her what you think, let her know that you like her ideas too, and that you’ll be happy with either.

Grooms, don’t get me wrong, this is your wedding too. I’m not suggesting you sit down and watch your wedding go by, but remember, your fiancé is carrying most of the work on her shoulders. Perfecting the art of tactfully giving your opinion will go a long way with your bride!


Ben the Groom is a master of all things groom and is pumped to be onboard as a GroomsAdvice guest blogger. Ben is constantly searching out inspiration for style, ways to appease your fiancé, and tips to ensure smooth wedding planning. He is also dedicated to helping grooms across the globe be more involved, more capable and more prepared.

Groom Clues: 3 Simple Steps to Being a Better Fiance (Part 2)

Friday, February 5th, 2010

In my Groom Clues series I’m discussing three easy steps to becoming a better fiance. Step 1 introduced something every guy can get behind—food—and incorporating it into all wedding planning activities.  Food is a simple way to make the planning experience more enjoyable for the both of you.  I’ve learned that being a better fiancé doesn’t always mean extra work, it just takes some forethought.

Being a better groom isn't about harder work, it's about using your head and a little common sense.

Being a better groom isn’t about harder work, it’s about using your head and a little common sense.

Step 2: Volunteer for jobs that you can do well.  If you’ve taken the time to crack open any wedding book, chances are you’ve come across a page full of empty squares representing and endless list of tasks to complete.  This list of to-do’s is a great reminder of why you’re glad your bride is the one primarily in charge of the wedding.  Your fiancé is going to ask for plenty of your help with the items, so one way to make her feel special while making life easier on you is to quickly jump on the tasks you know you can do!

I knew that finding the right photographer could be a difficult & stressful task.  My fiance didn’t have anyone in mind and was going to start the search from scratch.  I, however, had a couple friends with contacts and photographer recommendations, so I quickly volunteered to take over this responsibility!  She now has one less job, and loves the fact that I stepped up to help, while I’m working on something i actually enjoy.

Grooms, pay attention to items on the list that play to your strengths.  You may not be great at finding ceremony location, but you could volunteer to schedule the visiting appointments. If you’re an organizer, volunteer to keep track of all the receipts and vendor documents.  If you’re on the computer all day at work, tell her you can be in charge of updating the online gift registries.  The more you voluteer to do, the happier she’ll be, and the less likely you’ll be stuck with jobs you’re terrible at performing.

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Ben the Groom is a master of all things groom and is pumped to be onboard as a GroomsAdvice guest blogger. Ben is constantly searching out inspiration for style, ways to appease your fiancé, and tips to ensure smooth wedding planning. He is also dedicated to helping grooms across the globe be more involved, more capable and more prepared.

Groom Clues: 3 Simple Steps to Being a Better Fiance (Part 1)

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Playing the role as the supportive fiance is a never ending battle.  There is a fine line between doing nothing, making your bride think you’re apathetic, and being too involved, driving her crazy with questions about the budget. As I posted on my blog before, it’s not about how much you’re involved, it’s about how you’re involved. and there are plenty of ways to make life easier on yourself!

Ben says food, especialy french toast,

Ben says food, especially french toast, can make any wedding planning activity run smoother

STEP 1: Find ways to incorporate food into the any wedding planning activity.  For example, last night my fiancé told me that we need to make a checklist for the next two weeks.  Because it was late and we were both hungry, I knew that just sitting there, hovering over the same list of to-do’s, we were bound for trouble.  The solution? A quick meal of French toast to supplement our work. Within minutes, she was busy reviewing the list while I was making dinner, listening to her suggestions.

Remember though, you’re not making dinner instead of working with her, you’re making dinner while working. This same philosophy can be applied to almost any activity.  If she asks you to register at Bed-Bath-Beyond on a busy Thursday night, suggest you stop at Cracker Barrel afterwards to review your selections. Before you know it, you’ll be knee-deep in a Country Morning Breakfast for dinner, and she’s getting plenty of time to soak in the registry list you just created.

Next time your fiance asks you to help her complete a job think to yourself, how can food make this better?

Ben the Groom is a master of all things groom and is pumped to be onboard as a GroomsAdvice guest blogger. Ben is constantly searching out inspiration for style, ways to appease your fiancé, and tips to ensure smooth wedding planning. He is also dedicated to helping grooms across the globe be more involved, more capable and more prepared.

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