Part 3 of ben the groom’s 3-part guest series on being a better fiancé.

Today we wrap up my three part series, Groom Clues: Three Simple Steps to Becoming a Better Fiancé.  As the groom, it’s not your job to do all the work, however, having less responsibility creates higher expectations. First, I discussed using food to calm and perfect any wedding planning night.  Next, I encouraged grooms to quickly volunteer for the jobs they will excel at.  Today, I raise a topic I’m still trying to perfect: Giving your Opinion.

Step 3: Know when and how to give your opinion. When it comes to the groom’s opinion, the bride either needs it, is curious about it, or doesn’t want it at all.  Stating your opinion is walking on dangerous grounds for any groom, but keeping your mouth shut can be just as risky. Grooms, we’ve all made these mistakes, and it’s not one you want to make again. My advice is: wait until she asks, state your real opinion once, and support all of her suggestions.

If you wait until she asks, you will save yourself from saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.  Forcing your opinion on your bride is never a good idea. When she’s ready, she’ll ask.

When she asks, provide your input carefully. Whether she’s just curious, or needs your thoughts, giving your opinion one time is sufficient. No matter how strongly you feel about your opinion, giving it more than once is dangerous territory.  Your bride heard you, and knows how you feel.  And be honest—she can see right through a fake, canned answer, and giving one will be just as insulting as ignoring her. Use common sense, but try to tell the truth.

Finally, remind her that you’ll be happy either way. With all of the decisions and ideas to go over, forcing one on her will only add stress for both of you.  After you tell her what you think, let her know that you like her ideas too, and that you’ll be happy with either.

Grooms, don’t get me wrong, this is your wedding too. I’m not suggesting you sit down and watch your wedding go by, but remember, your fiancé is carrying most of the work on her shoulders. Perfecting the art of tactfully giving your opinion will go a long way with your bride!

——
Read more from Ben the Groom on his blog.

part 2 of ben the groom’s 3-part guest series on being a better fiance.

In my Groom Clues series I’m discussing three easy steps to becoming a better fiance. Step 1 introduced something every guy can get behind—food—and incorporating it into all wedding planning activities.  Food is a simple way to make the planning experience more enjoyable for the both of you.  I’ve learned that being a better fiancé doesn’t always mean extra work, it just takes some forethought.

Being a better groom isn't about harder work, it's about using your head and a little common sense.

Step 2: Volunteer for jobs that you can do well.  If you’ve taken the time to crack open any wedding book, chances are you’ve come across a page full of empty squares representing and endless list of tasks to complete.  This list of to-do’s is a great reminder of why you’re glad your bride is the one primarily in charge of the wedding.  Your fiancé is going to ask for plenty of your help with the items, so one way to make her feel special while making life easier on you is to quickly jump on the tasks you know you can do!

I knew that finding the right photographer could be a difficult & stressful task.  My fiance didn’t have anyone in mind and was going to start the search from scratch.  I, however, had a couple friends with contacts and photographer recommendations, so I quickly volunteered to take over this responsibility!  She now has one less job, and loves the fact that I stepped up to help, while I’m working on something i actually enjoy.

Grooms, pay attention to items on the list that play to your strengths.  You may not be great at finding ceremony location, but you could volunteer to schedule the visiting appointments. If you’re an organizer, volunteer to keep track of all the receipts and vendor documents.  If you’re on the computer all day at work, tell her you can be in charge of updating the online gift registries.  The more you voluteer to do, the happier she’ll be, and the less likely you’ll be stuck with jobs you’re terrible at performing.

——-
Read more from Ben the Groom on his blog.

Today, we launch a three-part guest blog series from Ben the Groom on being a better fiance.

Playing the role as the supportive fiance is a never ending battle.  There is a fine line between doing nothing, making your bride think you’re apathetic, and being too involved, driving her crazy with questions about the budget. As I posted on my blog before, it’s not about how much you’re involved, it’s about how you’re involved. and there are plenty of ways to make life easier on yourself!

Ben says food, especially french toast, can make any wedding planning activity run smoother

STEP 1: Find ways to incorporate food into the any wedding planning activity.  For example, last night my fiancé told me that we need to make a checklist for the next two weeks.  Because it was late and we were both hungry, I knew that just sitting there, hovering over the same list of to-do’s, we were bound for trouble.  The solution? A quick meal of French toast to supplement our work. Within minutes, she was busy reviewing the list while I was making dinner, listening to her suggestions.

Remember though, you’re not making dinner instead of working with her, you’re making dinner while working. This same philosophy can be applied to almost any activity.  If she asks you to register at Bed-Bath-Beyond on a busy Thursday night, suggest you stop at Cracker Barrel afterwards to review your selections. Before you know it, you’ll be knee-deep in a Country Morning Breakfast for dinner, and she’s getting plenty of time to soak in the registry list you just created.

Next time your fiance asks you to help her complete a job think to yourself, how can food make this better?

Read more from Ben the Groom on his blog.

ben the groom is back… and he’s not happy. the infamous “groomsman jumping” photo style is really pissing him off!

We’ve all seen it: The groomsmen jumping picture.  Sure, it was a tradition created with good intentions, designed to show off how “real men” take pictures, full of spontaneity and excitement.  But face it guys, its been done a thousand times over, and every stuffy photographer out there is suggesting the pose. Honestly, the pictures rarely turn out that great anyway.  There is always the guy who either can’t get off the ground, has to stick his tongue out, or actually believes his jumping skills are going to impress the brides maids. Rule of thumb: If the photographer is suggesting the pose, it’s safe to assume it’s not that original.

The infamous groomsmen jumping photo

In 2010, let’s create some new trends and leave the “jumping picture” behind.  If you’re really looking for something different that justifies spending a lot of money on a picture of your guy friends, try something like:

* All wear dead president Halloween masks
* Quickly switch to AC/DC khaki shorts, or
* Jump off the second story balcony into the bushes

Let’s push the envelope this year and make some memories worth paying for.

Read more from Ben the Groom on his blog. What do our readers think about the groomsmen jumping wedding photo: Is it a yay or nay?

Ben Bunting, editor of Ben The Groom, stops by today with some tips for men on navigating the waters of wedding planning, enjoy!

I’ve learned that becoming a better fiancé doesn’t mean you have to throw all masculinity to the wind nor does it mean you need to fall in love with color Inspiration boards and the latest wedding trends of 2010.  Your bride to be doesn’t need your detailed opinion on chair covers and ring pillows. What she really wants is to see you manning up to the occasion.

Eating healthy & staying in shape will make this wedding planning thing a lot easier.

Dedicate more time these next few month to your health and style. Your bride will love watching you eat healthier and exercising more regularly.  She’ll assume the changed you is in preparation for the wedding (fitting into a suit, pictures, more energy). She’ll be happier, you’ll be looking better, and you haven’t had to give one thought to what salt shakers to register for.

This is also an excellent time to work on your image and wardrobe.  Go in for a fresh new haircut and try something different.  Ask your fiancé what she thinks and how it would look on the big day.  Start shopping for new cuff links instead of opting for the generics that come with the rented tux. Spend sometime working on yourself and it will go a long way in the eyes of your bride.

$85, available at Anna Sheffield, 153 Lafayette St., NYC., (212) 925-7010, annasheffield.comhttp://shop.bingbangnyc.com/

Read more from Ben the Groom – Follow Ben on Twitter