A few weeks back, we asked our expert panel about their thoughts on coed bachelor(ette) partying. As expected, responses were mixed on this tricky topic. To help settle the score, we’ve asked one of our favorite wedding bloggers to stop by and lay down the law.
By Alison, The Knotty Bride
It’s hard to answer coed bachelor(ette) party question without stating some stuff straight out. So, facts:
1. Not all men are interested in hanging out with strippers for their bachelor party. Women realize this and this response is not about you.
2. Lots of men don’t plan on really *thoroughly* enjoying themselves at their bachelor parties, but the thing is this: if there’s an attractive barely dressed woman in the room and she’s offering to trade you a beej for a Benjamin, let’s be honest that’s a tough thing to turn down for some people. One’s love for one’s chosen partner doesn’t even play into this; a man can be head over heels forever in love with his beloved and still consider capitalizing on a quality offer like that. Especially when sex and temptation is THE POINT OF THE OUTING. Plus, beej’s seem great, from what I know about them.
Ok, so here’s my answer: Joint parties seem fine I guess if you’re into them. It just seems like it’s more a solution to a problem than a fun new party idea we should seriously consider. Please don’t misread me- I imagine coed parties have tons of fun potential, just as long as they aren’t the result of a fight over having separate parties. Are both partners on board with the idea, in their heart of hearts? Then that spells a great time and obviously they like spending time with one another, who can argue against that? Still this is probably a best fit for couples who have some trust issues they’re working out. If a guy has given a girl legitimate reason to distrust him around other women, for fuck’s sake don’t make her go through you having a legit bachelor party. Go somewhere strippers can’t be found/shipped in. That’s love.
Since this question is so obviously about the elephant in the room – strip club bachelor parties (or the thing where the stripper comes to your place) I have to make a final note. As women, we don’t want to come off jealous or controlling, so we sometimes make believe we’re comfortable with a thing even when we BEYOND AREN’T comfortable with that thing. Stripper bachelor parties out of our line of vision are at the top of that list. Right next to obliterating our vaginal canals through the miracle of childbirth, and paintball.
What we are doing when we have “a traditional bachelor party,” is we are asking our partners to see that we are spending a night out with our guy friends with the express purpose of living it up like a bachelor. Sticking with tradition, this means spending between a night and a week of nights exclusively with a group of our horniest male friends, all of whom have been dreaming about that next time they get to go to a bachelor party. And then sitting in a room with low-hanging fruit in the form of dangling boobies and nipples, and challenging yourself not to suckle them for an extra $50 (not sure how accurate that price is it’s been a while since I last stepped foot into a strip club).
To wrap up: I believe in separate parties as much as I believe in joint parties. I like separate parties for the reason that men, like women, thrive among friends. Time with friends without the S.O. there is like medicine for men and women. It’s that important. So guys, we are totally into your gender-exclusive bachelor parties and want you to have fun. Just do us a solid and don’t pull one of these.
Which side of the fence do you stand on: joint or separate parties? Leave a comment below with your thoughts.