Guest Blogger Profile: Simon Daykin

Now I like a good party as much as the next guy, actually I enjoy it more than the next guy, but you need to know when to say when and how much you can take.  I have seen countless grooms and guests get right hammered not only at the wedding but at events leading up to the wedding.  Some have been funny, but some were just uncalled for and way over the top.  You need to know when you can hit the bar and when you need to hang back and just maintain the buzz.  From my years of experience of attending and partaking, I humbly offer you the following advice.

Wedding drinking: yay or nay?

The Bachelor Party

Since the beginning of time, the bachelor party has been a rite of passage for the groom and a good old fashioned booze up!  But beware, it’s also the time your friends will try to get you back for all the crap you have piled on them in the years past.  I had a groom head off for a stag only to get waaaay too drunk and his friends thought it would be a good idea to draw all over him, and I do mean ALL over him with permanent sharpie marker.  Funny at the time, not so funny when you wake up and have to go to work on Monday.  Everyone has heard the urban legend of waking up in Mexico or the middle of the Vegas desert, while these stories may not be entirely true, I do caution you, as a groom to watch your intake at your stag.  Make it fun but don’t make an ass of yourself.  For a cautionary Bachelor Party tale go rent “Very Bad Things” on DVD.

The Rehearsal Dinner

This event usually takes place the night before your wedding.  So it should be a no-brainer not to tie one on.  The last thing you want to do is stand across from your bride as you sweat out last night’s tequila.  Or even worse, puke during the ceremony.  It’s one thing to be sitting in a pew all hung over but it’s an entirely different thing to be up in front of all your friends and family swaying back and forth.  This will go for your groomsmen as well.  You and your groomsmen are the hosts, or you should be.  It’s your jobs to make sure everyone gets to know each other at the rehearsal, there will be plenty of time for a drink, feel free to ride the buzz at the dinner, but don’t go overboard.  People will wanting to talk to you and take your picture so you want the conversations to be remembered and the photos to look good, no wonky drunk eyes for you my friend.

The Ceremony

Most officiants I deal with will call off the wedding and refuse to marry you if they smell the sweet, sweet nectar on your breath.  Plus it’s illegal to sign a binding contract if you’re pissed (not sure if this counts in the record industry though) I can’t say it more plainly…don’t get hammered before the ceremony.  On my wedding day we decided it was ok to drink champagne and red bull while we got ready.  When the photographer came in and asked me if I was nervous, I said “No, why?”  Well I was shaking so damn much from that red bull, the stuff tasted great but man it did a number on you.  We stopped and out came the water.  I also had a best man who drank so much before the ceremony I got to see him puke, right before I stuffed him into a walk in freezer for 45 minutes to slow down his blood flow.  He made it through the (thankfully) short ceremony and passed out 10 minutes into the photo session.  I don’t think he’s still friends with the groom.

The Reception

Well, you made it through the day, time to get your drink on right!?!?!?  This is tricky because people will be getting you drinks, shots and all those toasts.  Keep in mind your food intake for the day, you may not have eaten much.  As we all know, this will impact your tolerance.  Drinking in the heat, also does a number on you.  I tell my guys to go easy during the cocktail hour, eat as many hors d’oeuvres as you can and I usually recommend 1 – 2 glasses of champagne (‘cause it’s classy)  Try not to really hit the sauce until after you give your speech.  You may not be as funny as you think after a few drinks so beware, your entire family is listening to you.  Again, this goes for your groomsmen as well.  And on a parting note, booze can ruin a good night in the sack, so keep in mind it’s your WEDDING NIGHT you fool, this is one night you really want to give that Oscar winning performance.

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

So in closing, drink is good, too much drink is bad.  Too much drink and all your boys around can be even worse.  I attended a wedding rehearsal and the groom had a few drinks and horsing around in the parking lot, well he tripped on one of those parking spot markers, the big concrete things and fell face first (from a run) into the parking lot.  He was OK, but he had more makeup on than his bride at the ceremony the next day.

You may be the guests of honor, but it’s also your job to make sure everyone else is having a good time.  You need to be on the ball enough to be able to get up and dance with Grandma, hold a decent conversation with Uncle Charlie and take your new wife to bed at the end of the night, so watch your consumption pal, you’ll be having a great time and it WILL sneak up on you.

One last event I neglected to mention is the brunch the next day.  If you’re having one, all your guests will be there, there will be food and you will have to talk to people.  Getting up in the morning, being nice and being able to eat can be tough if you got rip roaring drunk the night before.  But you have to be “on” ‘cause it’s your event dude.

If you drink a full pint of water for every drink at the reception I find that works pretty well, and of course a few pints of water before you head to bed.  You’ll need the energy!!!

Guys, please don’t drink and drive and don’t let your guests do it either, apart from spilling your drink if you crash it’s a total dumb ass thing to do.

Guest Blogger Profile: Jennifer Napier of OneWed.com

Let me just be clear, different women have different opinions about strippers and bachelor parties. Some, really don’t care, but a lot, really do. If you think your fiancée might be less than happy about the idea of you getting a lap dance then you need to sit down with her and get some ground rules.

Find out what her concerns are, what her limits are, and what she does and doesn’t want to know about. Or, for an even better “conversation,” ask her to play the part of the bachelor party entertainer and “show you” what is and isn’t acceptable.

Thanksgiving traditionally kicks off engagement season. For all of you men out there preparing to pop the big question soon, here are five wedding planning traditions to remember to be thankful for as you’re shoveling turkey and mashed potatoes down your throat tomorrow.

Rake in the loot at your Man Shower

Man Showers – The man (or groom) shower is a relatively new kid on the wedding block. The average bride has 2-3 bridal showers. Until recently, the average groom had, well, 0. What is this “man shower” all about? It’s not as disturbing as it sounds. If ‘Sex and the City’ is a bridal shower, then ‘Entourage’ is a man shower.’ Think a grill-out at the Best Man’s house followed up with a little backyard pigskin action or Call of Duty 6. Of course, it wouldn’t be a shower without the groom-to-be receiving some gifts from a manly wedding registry.

It wasn't a successful bachelor party unless the groom looks like this at the end of the night.

Bachelor Party – We all know about this one, so we’re not going to bore you with talk of steak,  booze, limos, casinos wait… that’s not boring. Planning the bachelor party is generally a duty reserved for the Best Man. However, as the groom you should remember to suggest activities/destinations you are interested in. Whether it’s Vegas, strippers or an adventure bachelor party – be sure to get what you want!

The groom is fully responsible for selecting the theme of the groom's cake: make it count.

Groom’s Cake – This cake is all about the GROOM. Are you a hunter? golfer? Star Wars fanatic? Plan your groom’s cake accordingly. While commonly referred to as an “accessory” to the main wedding cake, groom’s cakes are often the more memorable of the two. Serve this baby at the wedding reception or as dessert at the rehearsal dinner. Lots of guys go for a sports-related grooms’ cake like I did.

That's right... own that garter!

Garter Removal – As close as you can come to having sex at your wedding reception. You’ll want to plan your garter removal carefully as it’s become a sort of a pissing contest for grooms. Just how sexual can it get? It’s also a great chance to show off your dancing moves (see above). Savor it because it’s probably the only time you’ll ever get to have your hands up your wife’s leg while her parents stand 10 feet away.

Last but not least...

Wedding Night Sex …and honeymoon sex for that matter. Something tells me that we didn’t’ have to remind you to be thankful for this. Who knows what kind of sexy lingerie your new wife will be waiting to showcase on the wedding night. Wedding night sex is extra important for those who waited for marriage to go the distance. If you fall into that category, might we suggest a very brief engagement?

Cheers!

Today we’re pumped to have one of our favorite groom bloggers contributing a guest post. If you haven’t checked out Temple of Groom yet, stop everything and do so now (actually read this post first, then go).

by SuperDave (templeofgroom.com)
I recently attended my first Vegas bachelor party (and actually my first bachelor party total).  In the grand scheme of things it was tame compared to what I’ve seen in movies – no animal “shows” or sacrifices, no high speed chases or little Asian mafia men jumping from car trunks.  Just a lot of drinking, gambling, and a few strippers sprinkled on top.  Nothing really had to “stay in Vegas” that I couldn’t bring back to me in California though (which isn’t a such a bad thing).  I think it was a more realistic version of what we see in movies or on TV.  So I’ve come back with a six pack of tips for the newbies on the block who don’t really know what to expect.

1. Pay more to get your own bed. This was something I should have been more adamant about.  Because most of my friends are on a TIGHT budgets, we opted for the “how many guys can we cram into this room” approach.  Sure it was great that we only owed $40 for the room at the end of the weekend, but it really wasn’t worth sleeping with my ear infected buddy on top of me for a night.  During the bachelor party planning stages, you need to do everything in your power to insure that you will get your own bed.  Even if you only sleep for 45 minutes over 2 days like I did, it’s at least a COMFORTABLE 45 minutes.  Additionally, it’s not enough that you simply suggest this to your buddies (this is my fatal error), you seriously need to make this your bitness.  If that means  you put a few extra dollars down, it’ll be money well spent.  Find someone else that feels the same way and split a different 2 bed room with him.  Additionally, and this may be tip 1a, when picking a bed at the end of the night if you’re sharing a room, don’t assume that the bed with the messier sheets was the one that got “slept in” – do a more thorough ocular investigation.

We strongly agree with SuperDave. Get your own bed and room key.

2.  Get a key to your room. This was another fatal mistake I made.  I thought when I was ready to go back to the room certainly one of the guys w/ a room key would be next to me.  Looking back, I can’t believe how dumb I was for thinking I’d be able to track down 1 of 2 drunk friends in VEGAS while I was also extremely drunk.  If you get your own bed, or your own room, you most likely don’t have to worry about this, but if you’re like me and pile into a room with guys, don’t be surprised if the lone key bearer is nowhere to be found at the end of the night.  You could get screwed out of a bed all together if your name isn’t on the reservation and your buddy goes missing.

3.  Bring your own soap. This one is kind of a no-brainer, but I promise you, when you’re stepping into the shower, you’ll quickly smack yourself that you didn’t think about this sooner.  Also, it’s a good idea to go grab a towel either from the front desk or the pool.  Sharing a bed with a couple of guys is bad enough, sharing their soap is inexcusable.

4.  Bring more cash than you think you need, but not more than you can afford to lose. The only faster way to lose your money in Vegas rather than the slots is the casino/strip club ATM machines.  At the strip club, there was a $12 fee to take money out of their ATM.  That’s insane.  More often you’ll find yourself digging into your pockets for CASH not your credit card, and when you’re out, the only option is the ATMs.  It’s brutal.  If you’re out of cash, take your smart friends that brought cash out to lunch and pick up the bill on your credit card.  Your friends don’t charge the ATM fee.

When the night starts to resemble this image, it might be time to down a 5-Hour Energy

5.  Drink 5 Hour Energy. This product got me through the weekend.  No harsh crash when it’s wearing off, and the taste wasn’t bad!

6.  When you’re at the strip club, “the truth will set you free.” I found that there was no really nice extremely polite way to get the strippers I wasn’t interested in to leave me alone.  If I told them I wasn’t ready for a dance, they’d say “well I’ll wait next to you till you are ready.”  If you said that you just got there, they’d say “so what?”  There is just nothing you can say or do to get a girl to quickly stop badgering you except “I’m sorry, you’re pretty, but you’re not my type.”  Most of the time after saying this, she’d give me a nasty look, but the fact that she would leave me alone was an fair trade.

A hilarious look at bachelor party concepts from one of our favorite TMR vendors – California’s own FireFly Group Events

I'm on a Boat (for my bachelor party)!

Your friend Jimmy is passed out in his own vomit as your bleary eyes register the tattoo on your arm. A tattoo that didn’t exist twelve hours ago because until last night, you didn’t know anyone named Trixie. A moment of clarity pierces your hangover fog and you realize that you’ve made it; your bachelor party is over and you’ve come through unscathed…Almost. Just wait until your fiance asks who Trixie is.

It takes one friend to tie the knot and the rest of you get a reason to party. Be careful though–if the bride learns any details from the bachelor party, that knot may become a noose for your friend. Maybe it’s time to consider a different approach to the bachelor party. We’re all for a liquor-fueled last hurrah with the boys. BUT, we suggest you shift toward memories that can be shared, and away from secrets that inevitably leak.

Bachelors and best men are already moving away from the standard and stale strippers-and-beer fests. Instead of bar hopping and strip clubs, men are deep sea fishing, kart racing, playing poker, and seeking out activities that offer more. They’re bonding (yes, men can bond) and they’re coming back with memories that don’t make enemies out of the bridal party.

As Best Man your goal is to become a legend, without endangering the groom’s status with the bride. It’s a send-off that lets him know what the rest of the guys think of him. It’s a lot of pressure, but don’t worry, we’re here to help.

1st – Figure out what the Groom wants! It’s His party, celebrating His last time out with the boys as a single man.

2nd – Check out our website: http://www.fireflygroupevents.com/main.php . We have a great selection of packages and tools to make organizing a party easier. We’ll collect the money, book the vendors, and let you take credit. With our help, this is the easiest party you’ll ever plan.

3rd –  All hands on deck. This ship will sink unless you get all your friends talking it up. Get them excited! Create a buzz!

Bonus tip– If you decide to use strippers, we recommend calling each and every tattoo parlor in the area. Ask them to ban you from their premises for a period of 24 hours.

Keep in mind that a bachelor party is not like a normal party, the details are harder to manage. You’re dealing with people you may not know well, multiple locations, and vendors you’re unfamiliar with. We simplify the process for you! Our custom event pages allow you to send email invites, see whose going, who’s paid, and communicate via message boards. Leave the vendors, money, and stress to us.

Also, be sure to read The Man Registry’s great advice for Bachelor Party Planning!

Now this is what we call a bachelor party

If you’re looking for some ideas to get the juices flowing, check out some of our pre-packaged deals for the grooms in California:

Los Angeles – Surf & Scale – Surfing lesson and Rock Climbing

San Francisco – Scratch It – Learn beat matching on the turntables, then load onto the Party Bus for a night of fun

San Diego – False Starts – Mini Grand Prix kart style followed by beer tasting at three micro breweries

Orange County – Hangman Strikes – Traverse this sixty foot ropes course to fly down their insane zipline and then head to our favorite lanes for some bowling.

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For more information on becoming a TMR sponsored vendor and writing guest blogs for our blog, view our Become a TMR Vendor page.

Men, we’ve all been there. We want to have a BBQ or invite our friends over to watch the big game, but how do we invite them!?! Sure, there’s e-vite.com, but do those invitations really convey the bromantic message we want to send?

Introducing Manvite.com. This genius website offers free e-cards that you can send to your friends when you want get together to drink beer, play video games, or even better – go cougar hunting. They also have some great options for the bachelor party.

Not sold yet? Read the Manvite Manifesto written by Tom Testosterone.

Cheers!

We go way back with Big Rob from @drinkinggames. We’ve convinced him to share some of his legendary drinking game advice with the grooms out there who want a memorable bachelor party. So without further ado…

This looks familiar..

So you’re celebrating the last moments of your freedom, you and your boys are up for a night on the town.   If the best man does it right, he’ll get the gang primed and ready to go even before you hit the bars or bus.  Asking from experience, who’s got the funds to hit the bar in high gear sober?

Pregame It:

Get your buzz going early with an hour of power, it’s one of the best ways to start off the night.  Unless you’re drinking alone or at a family reunion, then it’s just sad. Throw in some shoulders or thumper, because nothing beats seeing your friends make a fool of themselves.

If the bachelor pre-party starts to accumulate more people – bust out a cup, quarter, and ice tray and play some Moose. (Editor’s note – this is one of our favorite games for after hours at TMR) It’s the quintessential stand around the table and makes-your-friends drink game.  It’s ridiculously addictive and so easy to play even your future brother-in-law’s friend that is in his seventh semester of community college can follow along. All you need to play is an ice tray and a large bowl. It’s best if everyone playing is drinking something different.  Set up the pieces as shown below and have everyone pour a bit of their drink into the bowl. Take turns trying to bounce the quarter from the table into the ice tray. If the quarter lands in the right column of the ice tray, you give out drinks. If it lands in the left column.. you drink. If someone is unlucky enough to bounce the quarter into the bowl – everyone must yell “MOOSE!.” The last one to do so has to drink the bowl…and it’s mixed contents.

Ice tray and bowl. It doesn't get any easier.

Bar:

By the time you hit up the bar you should be feeling like George Clooney in Ocean’s Eleven; a confident cougar magnet hanging with your mob of friends.  Keep the dreamin’ alive by playing some more bar appropriate games avoiding the dice, quarters, and cards.  Make use of the sports playing on the TVs around the bar to aid in your intoxication and invent drinking rules for certain sports.  Use your friends as a source of your drinking pleasure by singling them out by their catch phrase or every time the text someone.  Involve the whole crew by making each other only refer to people by nicknames.

Hey look at me - it's my bachelor party!

As always tip your bartenders, and be aware of your surroundings; I’m sure you don’t want the bridegroom in a fight with a 300 pound biker named Curly.

The Aftermath:

Grab some Waffle House, regale each other on the night’s events, and make drunken promises to do it again.

For daily tweets on new drinking games and reminders of old favorites, follow @drinkinggames on Twitter. If you’re not using Twitter – start! And while you’re there, follow @themanregistry as well.

Follow The Man Registry on Twitter

Tuxedo: Check

Wedding vows: Check

Pitching wedge: Check

You golfing grooms out there should definitely keep this checklist handy for the wedding morning. We know that the main focus of the day is obviously the nuptials. However, one of the traditional rites of passage for men is playing a round of golf on the morning of the wedding.

Furthermore, including your friends and family in this activity is also a great way to get them involved in wedding activities and spend a little extra time with them before you officially take the plunge. If you’re going to have a large group, we recommend calling a few months in advance to reserve tee times.

The one day where they have to let you win...

Here are some options for hitting the links on the wedding day:

Dads only

Invite your father and future father-in-law out for an early morning round. Not to get too mushy, but it will be a special moment for the three of you. If you’re feeling extra generous, include brothers as well.

Scramble

If you’ve got a bigger group interesting in playing, divide up even teams and play a scramble tournament. If you’re not familiar, scramble (or best ball) style is when all members of one team tee off, choose the best shot, and all then hit from that location on the next shot. This is a great way to even the playing field and let everyone compete evenly.

Groom’s side vs. bride’s side

If it’s blood you’re after, then pitting the groom’s friends and family against the bride’s side may be just the ticket. If the bride is a golfer (and you’ve agreed to see each other before the ceremony) it might be fun to get the girls involved as well..

GroomsAdvice Recommendation: If you’re a golfer, you should strongly consider getting out and playing a round on the wedding day. It may be the last chance you get for awhile…

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Non-wedding awesome link of the day: Hilarious drunken text Gotta feel sorry for this girl.

Have you been asked to be Best Man in an upcoming wedding? Congratulations – it’s quite an honor, but you’ll need to remember that this is about a lot more than giving a speech and planning the bachelor party. While both of those jobs are important, it’s the little things you do for your buddy that he’ll truly appreciate. The groom will be under a tremendous amount of stress in the weeks and days leading up to the wedding. Here are some of the big things you can do that will ease the Groom’s mind and solidify your position as Best Man.

Learn your responsibilities and you may just end up earning this patch.

Organize the Bachelor Party – No brainer here. Giving the groom a memorable last night out with his buddies is one of the most important things you’ll do. Check beforehand on the groom’s thoughts regarding strippers and heavy drinking. If you’re planning on dinner before the party begins, it’s always nice to include the fathers and younger siblings who wouldn’t otherwise get a chance to be a part of the party. Another growing trend is holding a grooms shower earlier in the day.

Write your speech – Let’s face it: We’ve all seen some “interesting” Best Man speeches in our lifetimes. Your goal is for your speech to be remembered for its classiness, rather than for the number of many embarrassing stories you can share with the groom’s unsuspecting family and loved ones.

Assist the Groom with wedding planning tasks – Help the groom and his family decorate for the rehearsal dinner, arrange the wedding transportation, and help out-of-town guests with directions. This might not sound very fun,  but it’ll be a huge help to the bride and groom.

On the day of the wedding, be the groom’s right-hand man – From the time he wakes up; you need to be at the groom’s side, keeping him focused and on task. If the wedding is later on in the day, you may have time to take him out for breakfast or a quick nine holes. In the hours immediately prior to the wedding, help him get dressed, drive him to the church, and give him a pep talk. He’ll undoubtedly thank you for calming his nerves.

Remember your Best Man duties – Keep the rings safe and sign the marriage license as a legal witness to the nuptials.

The Reception – We all know how much fun you can have at a wedding reception (especially one with an open bar). After you give your speech, you’ll surely want to let loose – but remember that it’s important that you’re able to help a little after the party is over. You may be asked to drive the couple to the hotel or to the airport. If not, the bride’s family is always appreciative of extra help in cleaning up and packing gifts into cars.

Your final job – If the bride and groom are bolting early the next morning, you’ll be needed to return the groom’s tux to the rental shop.This is a great gesture and one that will surely solidify your standing as BEST MAN!

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Create a grooms registry, purchase groomsmen gifts, and get advice for grooms at TheManRegistry.com

Your groomsmen have been with you every step of the way – through good times and bad. And now they’re ready to stand beside you on the day you say “I do.” As your groomsmen, they’ll be renting tuxes, planning your bachelor party, making toasts and helping out on the big day. How to repay them? Here are a few ways to say “thanks.”

Engraving a practical gift gift with the groomsmen’s initials is a nice way to personalize your groomsmen gift. Try engraving or monogramming one of these gift options:

• Pocket knife or pocket multi-tool
  

  Personalized Watch Money Clip

• Corkscrews/bottle openers
• Wristwatches
• Cufflinks
• Money clip
• Lighters
• Pens
• Business card holders
• Wallets

A gift for the home bar:

• Personalized beer mug or personalized flask
• Personalized Pub Signs
• Shot glass set
• Corkscrews/bottle opener
• Give each groomsmen/usher a bottle of their favorite liquor

Avid sports fans will appreciate a gift that relates to their love of the game or the great outdoors, such as:

• Fishing gear
• Camping equipment
• Golf equipment
• Game tickets
• Gifts featuring logos of their favorite sports team. Browse our MLB groomsman gifts, NFL groomsman gifts, NHL groomsman gifts, and NCAA groomsman gifts
• Personalized Baseball Bat

Another option is to organize a group outing for you and the boys (on you of course). Popular ideas are:

• Casino night (or a Vegas trip if it’s in the budget)
• Camping or fishing excursion
• Sporting event
• Concert
• Golfing

Finally, if your groomsmen support any major causes – a donation in their name is a very unique and meaningful gift.

GroomsAdvice Recommendation: No matter what type of groomsman gifts you choose, the name of the game is to find a gift that will make your groomsmen feel appreciated (and help ease the pain of a pricey tux rental). Think of your gift as a memento of your wedding that your groomsmen will remember for years to come.

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Groom’s wedding gift of the day: Nostalgia Electrics Beer Chiller and Dispenser. A truly portable kegerator, this AC/DC beer cooler and dispenser can be used in the home, boat, RV, or camper to serve cold beer anytime and anywhere. Fits a 5-liter mini keg.

Nostalgia Electrics 5-Liter Beer Chiller

Totally awesome non-wedding link of the day: Robin Williams on Golf.

Grooms, create a man wedding registry at TheManRegistry.com. Don’t know the first thing about getting married? Check out our Groom101 section stocked full of tips and advice for grooms.