Guest Blogger: Simon Daykin

OK guys, everyone gives out wedding planning advice. Most (myself included) forget everything they hear.  I’m gonna let you know of 5 easy tips you can make to make the planning process easier on the groom and  bride.  And if we’re honest here…a happy Bride makes the process SO MUCH EASIER!  So take heed fellas, grab a pen or hit print on your computer and file these away for a rainy day so you can surprise your Bride-to-be with your awesomeness.

Be A Groom Who Takes

By this I mean take stuff OFF her plate.  Go through the things on her “need to do” list, find stuff that you’re interested in and take them over.  It’s not that tough and could be fun.  If you like music and food, take those and own them.  Look for DJ’s or bands, get their demo cd and check them out.  Go to the hotel and talk to the chef, see if you can help design the menu.  You will of course want to take your fiancé to the tasting but you can do all the leg work leading up to it.  Don’t just sit back and let her try to do everything.  The marriage is a team effort, so is the wedding and the planning should be as well.

An involved groom equals a happy bride.

Listen, Listen, Listen

As the planning process goes along, your Bride is going to need to talk to you.  You must listen to her.  She may not need you to fix anything, she may just need you to listen.  (If you get confused, as I do…ask her what she wants you to do, but ask nicely)  Sure there are forums and what not, but sometimes she will have to talk to you.  Be patient and see what she wants you to do.  She may be complaining about how many DJ’s she is having to contact (See above section) if she is complaining about getting overwhelmed, then see if she wants to hire a planner (Here’s a good one). The most important thing to do is listen to her.

Take Time For The Two Of You

Make time for the two of you to do stuff that isn’t wedding related.  Sounds simple but a lot of people forget this one.  Go out to dinner, but don’t talk about the wedding, go see a movie, you’re not even allowed to talk there.  Go out with friends and have a good time.  Try to do something non wedding related at least once a week.  It’ll help you get back to normal.  My wife and I run this company together, we work together every day, it’s pretty hard to not talk about wedding planning at dinner…but we try and so should you.  It helps.  So feel free to surf blogs and gossip pages while you’re at work so you have something to talk about when you get home.

Give A Little Along The Way

Give her stuff, it doesn’t have to be huge things.  Sometimes flowers and a nice card will make all the difference to her.  Things to let her know you are thinking of her and you love her and you can’t wait to get married to her.  You can set this up in your work calendar so you get prompted when the time comes.  She’ll think it’s spontaneous (but you’ll know better)  You can get romantic about it and as the days lead up to the wedding, you could send her something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue.  Just be sure to explain it in the card you attach.

Don’t Be Afraid To Speak Up

Speak up grooms!

This wedding is a combination of both of you.  Don’t forget this.  Sure you need to listen to her, but you need your ideas heard as well.  Don’t let her mash all your ideas into the dirt like a poorly protected quarterback (holy crap, I think that is my first sports reference in 2 years of writing this!!!)  Sure you may need to compromise on some of your ideas, but make sure you are heard and that she listens to you as well.  The wedding should be a true combination of BOTH your personalities, just as the marriage will be down the road.

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

The planning process can take its toll on couples, that shouldn’t be news to anyone.  But there are simple ways you can help to make it easier.  If you don’t support her, the whole thing is gonna suck, if you don’t get your ideas heard, you may get angry and resent you never got the wedding you wanted.  So try to make the wedding planning process a team thing. It can be fun.  It doesn’t have to be work.  How tough would it be to have the boys over on a Saturday, break out the bottles and concoct your signature drink?  Yeah, not that tough really is it!?!?  Will it really be a chore to eat a few steaks to see which one you like the best?  Nope.  So grab that list, take over some items and get on that.  Own those items guys.  She’ll love you for it…wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

So in closing, take the time to just hang out with your fiancé, and you can start this over the holidays as well.  Not every conversation needs to be about the wedding, if she doesn’t believe you…show her this E-zine.  I’m apparently an expert in this stuff so my word counts.  Good luck guys, I know you can all do it.

Click here to book a free meeting and get started planning  your one of a kind wedding, we can take all the stress off you and your Bride so you can focus on the fun of being engaged.

Don't you dare think about clinking those champagne glasses

Guest Blogger Profile: Simon Daykin

Two things can happen if you clink your glass long and hard enough at a wedding reception.  The bride and groom will kiss, or the glass will break.  I don’t know about you, but I HATE glass clinking, I mean I cannot even put into words how much I detest this cliché of a tradition.  Luckily, a lot of my clients feel the same way and are looking into new ideas for the old kissing game thing.

There are tons of options out there but I’m going to give you the three that I like the best.  If none of these get you going, feel free to hit the ‘net and look for alternatives to the clinking of glasses (Coz glass clinking sucks!)

This Is How We Do It

At our wedding, we pre-selected a bunch of married couples (letting them know ahead of time of course) and called upon them to show the us how it’s done.  They would kiss and then my wife and I had to mimic that kiss.  It started out pretty simple but as the dinner and speeches progressed and the wine took effect, we had some pretty crazy stuff going on.  I suggest spacing out the kissing and having your MC announce the couple, introduce them and then have them kiss.  Also, let them know to keep it PG-13 tops, you may have kids there and they don’t need to see your Uncle go all 9 ½ weeks on his wife!

Are You Questioning Me?

Another alternative to the dreaded glass clinking can be asking the couple questions related to their life together so far or questions in general.  You can certainly ask trivial pursuit questions, but get a few different editions, add in some cool ones, Lord of the Rings, Movie stuff, Music stuff and the original version as well.  If the couple gets the answer

The clinking game isn't so fun now, is it?

right, they are in the clear, if they answer wrong…It’s kissin’ time!  I love when relatives and friends get up to the mic, introduce themselves and ask one of the couple a question about the other.  These questions can be from their childhood, the time they were dating etc.  No questions about how many people the other person has slept with or dated, keep it specifically to the couple.  I had a grandfather get up and ask the bride what kind of sandwich the groom used to make every day when he came home from school…and she got it right!!!

Dance Rummy, Dance!

My final suggestion to spare your glassware is this…there is always a dance floor at a wedding, so let’s use it shall we?  Sure it gets used later in the night but let’s get people out there sooner.  Have the DJ bring a cordless mic (most include this anyway) Have the MC announce that glass clinking will get you nowhere and if you want the couple to kiss you have these options, you can take to the dance floor and show the couple a few fancy moves, you can sing them a love song or you can share a memory you have of the couple (content appropriate of course) What’s great is you can have the videographer record all this and it makes a great addition to the wedding video.  At the end of each performance, he couple has to kiss and the glassware is still intact.

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

Some traditions are great, “You may now kiss the bride” should certainly be included in your wedding.  But clinking glasses, I don’t think so.  The only traditions you should be concerned about are the traditions you are going to start.  Don’t include something in your wedding just because the websites or your family says that’s the way it is supposed to be.  Don’t be afraid to start new traditions, add new ideas into your wedding.  As long as you like them, it’s all good.  It is your wedding day after all.  I pride myself on working with my couples to get everything they want added into the special day and make sure it is a combination of their personalities and the things they want to bring into the wedding.
Click here to book a free consultation and get started planning your one of a kind wedding, you want your wedding to stand out in the sea of weddings that happen every year.  You want your guests walking away from your wedding saying how great and original it was and then next year they will be comparing everyone else’s wedding to yours.  And we can make that happen for you.

Guest Blogger Profile: Simon Daykin

You don’t want this guy to BE YOU!!!!  Leading up to your wedding you want to be relaxed, you want to know everything is good hands and that you can chill out on the day and pretty much just show up, stand in the right place, say I do and kiss your bride a lot.  But there is road that leads to this Zen wedding day feeling, and I know guys hate to ask for directions on any road…even a metaphorical one, so here I am with a map for you.  It’s just three simple tips but they help, oh boy do they ever help!

Get Involved!!!

I cannot stress this enough!  Get involved with the wedding planning process.  You don’t have to sink yourself into the nitty gritty details of everything.  But attend the décor meeting, voice your opinions and be heard.  That way you know there will be no surprises when you walk into your reception.  Pink bows all over the place anyone!?!  I wanted all our bridesmaids to wear the same shoes, seems simple enough but I was the only one who felt that way.  I got my opinion heard and they all had the same shoes on when I showed up.  Makes sense to me though, same dress = same shoes.  So get involved in all the meetings with your planner that you can, visit the venue, help pick the menu, research the DJ, help pick out the ceremony music and your first dance tune.  It’s not that hard, and it can be fun as well.  Plus you get to bond with your bride to be and they love that!

Pamper Yourself, It’s OK & You Deserve It

This should really only apply if you help out with the planning process, if you do some work you can reward yourself.  But here we go ‘cause I know you’ll step up and get involved.  Pamper may sound silly but the only other phrase I could think of was “manper” and that sounds sillier to me.  Set up a couples massage for you and your bride to be, hell set up monthly appointments if you like.  It’ll keep you relaxed during the planning and leading up to the wedding.  Book yourself in for a manicure, make sure your nails look good for the wedding because you know that shot of your hands and the rings will be taken, nothing worse than chewed up split nails.  Get a haircut, a few weeks before the wedding, but head into a great stylist and get the full treatment, while you’re there get the warm face cloth massage and a shave, a real one, with a straight razor.  You may want to book another massage and facial for you the morning of the wedding to release any left over tension.  It’s up to you.

There Are Suits And Then There Are Suits, Your Should Be The Latter

Engraved Black Border Cufflinks from TheManRegistry.com

I always get on you guys about looking good.  And this issue will be no different!  HA.  Whether you buy a suit or you rent a suit you need to “own” the suit.  Make sure it fits…properly.  The shoulder pads sit ON your shoulders and the jacket hugs your torso.  If you feel comfortable in your suit, it will show and you’ll feel better throughout the day in general, trust me on this I do know a few things!  Make the suit your own…add your own shirt, don’t EVER wear the patent leather rental shoes, other dudes sweaty feet have been in there!!!  Add your own accessories like cufflinks, pocket squares and killer watch.  EnglishLaundry.com has just come out with a new line of cufflinks and PocketsSquarez.com has all manner of pocket squares for you and the prices are good!  You’ll feel better knowing that when people tell you that you look good, they mean it and they aren’t just being nice.  And if you feel better, the day will be even better than you thought it could be, of course you may have to cut the party short because your bride can’t wait to get you back to the room, but that’s the downside of being so “ridiculously good looking” and stylish!

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

Feeling good can come to you in a wild variety of ways.  But it has been proven that if YOU feel good, others around you will feel better and you will be the coolest guy in the room, well the last isn’t fact…but all the guys I style sure are.  Take the time to make yourself feel good, this should be every day, but especially leading up to your wedding.  Less stress is good.

Getting involved with the planning process is something you should do anyway.  I know you’re busy and may be tired, but this is an event that should only happen once in your life and you should be a apart of as much of it as you can be.  And again, trust me on this, your bride will notice and you’ll be better off for it (wink, wink, nudge, nudge)

And on a final note, NEVER, EVER have your stag or any other drinking themed events the night before your wedding.  Seriously, I will find you and walk down the aisle next to you asking you if “you’d like a greasy pork chop served in a dirty ashtray”.  This wedding cost a lot of money, you love your wife to be and all these folks came in to see you do this thing.  So have the respect not to get right-plowed the night before, it’s common sense, but we’re guys and it’s always….”oh I’ll be fine tomorrow”.  Well no, you may not be, and you don’t want to stink of booze or puke on someone so forgo the silly juice and get a good night’s sleep.

Brian from The Groom Says lays down the law on what he [and any other sane groom] won’t do.

We get a bum rap. You know, grooms. Apparently, we don’t like flowers; we don’t like colors; we don’t like to make decisions. Hard to believe, but it takes years to reverse those stereotypes, to tear down those walls. We hurt, too, ladies.

Then again, you should know that there are some things we absolutely won’t do. Yes, some stereotypes are true — that’s why they’re stereotypes. Brides, this abridged list is just a guide. Consult your groom for a complete directory.

1. Say “Fab” – No matter how “fab” something is … no matter how hard you try to drill it voodoo-style into our vocabulary … we’ll never say it. There could be a million Swarovski crystals hanging from a single centerpiece … we still won’t say it. It’s not you. It’s us.

2. Multitask At Your Level – Somewhere in our DNA we lack the chromosome that allows us to have six browser windows open while simultaneously emailing our wedding party, texting the photographer, faxing contracts, and phone conferencing with vendors. So pat us on the head and let us work at our own pace.

3. Cry Over Minor Milestones – We may tear up on the day, but don’t expect us to cry when we book the old school photo booth. We’re excited about it, too, but our lacrimal glands are limited — we need to save up our tears for the big day. We do that for you.

4. Help Plan Your Bachelorette Party - This doesn’t apply to every bride … but some do like their man’s advice when planning their last night of single womanhood. We won’t do it. It’s not that we’re uncomfortable with the idea. And we’re certainly not jealous, no matter how many police officers in tear away pants you may hire. We’re just afraid that you’ll want to reciprocate and help plan our bachelor party. And that’s just not an option.

5. Admit How Involved We Are – We know. You’re just thrilled that you are the one bride among all your bride friends who has the guy who’s involved. And, without hesitation, you’ll announce this at social gatherings, game nights, double dates, shindigs and soirees — but we won’t admit to it. We’ll laugh and deny it and quickly change the subject, especially in mixed company. So let’s keep our enthusiasm between us.

Check our more blogs on brian’s journey through the nonsensical world of wedding planning here

Guest Blogger Profile: Simon Daykin

During a recent bridal fair, I got a ton of questions about what to look for when going after a wedding planner.  You know you need one, but you want to make sure you get the right one.  You don’t want a “CCP” or a little old blue haired lady that has no idea what the current trends and styles are, so you need to know what to look for yes!?!  Oh, “CCP” is a phrase I coined that means “Clipboard Clutching Planner”, this planner resembles a deer in the headlights, but with a clipboard!  So below are my 8 Simple Rules To Finding A Wedding Planner.

Finding the right wedding planner is essential for a smooth wedding planning process

1. Can They Provide “The Hook Up”?
Does the Wedding Planner have good relationships with vendors and venues?  Can they pull you the discounts?  Do vendors and venues want to work with them?  We pass on all the discounts that we get from vendors DIRECTLY to our clients, and we get those discounts because we bring those vendors a lot of business and they love working with us.  Having your planner be able to “hook you up” is one of the reasons you hire a planner in the first place.  Your planner should be fighting for you to get you the best deals they can.

2. Are They Insured?
Pretty simple question no???  A lot of planners are not insured, they rely on venue insurance which doesn’t always cover them.  You MUST make sure that in the event of any kind of accident, both you and your planner are covered.  Wearing a lampshade on your head at a party (when it’s your choice) can be hilarious, having a lampshade fall from the ceiling and bonk one of your guests on the noggin….not so funny.  It’s your ass, so cover it guys!!!

3. You Got A Real Purdy Website
What is their web presence like?  Do they have a great site out there?  People seem to love this internet thing and do tons of research before they even contact a planner.  So take a look at the planner’s website.  And this is always a red flag for me…do they have a real email address.  Is it weddingplanner25@hotmail.com or is it info@fireflyoccasions.com?  Have they taken the time to set up a real email?  This may be the web snob in me, but I feel that real email addresses are REALLY important!

4. And Speaking Of Websites…
Really look at the portfolio section.  Does the planner have a varied portfolio or do all the weddings kinda look the same?  You want your wedding to be as unique as you, so you need to know that the planner can pull off a unique wedding.  You don’t want to become just another wedding in the eyes of your guests.  Also look to see if the venues in the back ground are different.  If the planner works mostly with the same venue I find that they become “lazy” in their design strategies and reproduce old weddings, and you don’t want that either.

Good wedding planners exist so grooms & brides don't have to remember all of this stuff.

5. Full Time, Part Time Or Just Time To Time
Does the planner you’re looking at work as a planner full time?  You want to be able to contact your planner when you need to.  If they are at their day job from 9-5 do you really think you’ll get their best when they get home and THEN start planning your wedding?  When I’m done at work, all I want to do is watch TV and veg the hell out.  So are they planning weddings full time or is this a hobby business for them?  I don’t want to knock newer planners or part time planners, but if I were building a house, I’d hire a guy who builds homes for a living, not a guy who builds them in his spare time.  Hire a professional.  I’m just sayin’…

6. “Preferred” Isn’t Always A Good Thing
In the wedding industry there are things called preferred vendor lists.  When you meet with a venue they may recommend people to you.  This seems great, the venue says they’re cool…so they must be, right?  Well not always.  Preferred vendor lists can be bought.  A vendor can give the venue a chunk of money to be on that list.  The venue may not have EVER even worked with them, but they pay, so they play.  Ask the venue if their list is based on reputation and talent or if companies can simply buy a spot on the list.

7.  Is Your Planner An “Expert”?
Does your planner travel?  Do they attend conferences?  Hell, do they speak at those conferences?  Is your planner an Expert in their field?  I feel planners should travel and always be learning more stuff, because let’s face it…you can’t be trekking all over hells half acre looking for new wedding trends.  It’s the planner’s job to do the learning for you and bring that to the table when planning and designing your wedding.  Ask them if they belong to any Associations, if they speak at conferences and if they travel to track down the latest and greatest in wedding stuff.

8. And Finally, Do They Know You Exist?

Yes, believe it or not, grooms do exist.

When I was getting married, I had to insert myself into any meeting I wanted to attend, because most planners only focus on the Bride.  It’s not their fault, they don’t know any better.  They focus on the Bride because history tells them the Groom wasn’t interested.  Well that was THEN, this is NOW and we’re re-writing history here fellas.  Make sure your planner knows you, the Groom exists and that you want your opinion heard.  When you meet with your planner for the first time, make sure you attend that meeting.  You can get a lot from a first impression, if the planner doesn’t ask you your opinion when they first meet you, it’s a good bet they won’t…ever!

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

I know some of the above points may seem a little harsh, but after some of the questions I got last weekend I had to write this.  I hate having the Groom overlooked in the planning process.  Now I can’t do anything for you if you take yourself out of the process, but you won’t do that will you???

The thing is, the odds are very good that you will not figure out you hired the wrong planner until your big day comes and it all goes pear shaped.  So if you follow these 8 simple rules, you’ll have a better chance of getting it right the first time.  And don’t be afraid to ask the planner for references, ask them to hook you up with their past clients, the parents of past clients, hell…ask them for vendor references from photographers or DJ’s etc they have worked with in the past.  See what the other pros in the industry have to say about them.

It never gets any better than a first impression, you’ll be spending a lot of time with the planner you choose so make sure it’s a good fit.

Part 3 of ben the groom’s 3-part guest series on being a better fiancé.

Today we wrap up my three part series, Groom Clues: Three Simple Steps to Becoming a Better Fiancé.  As the groom, it’s not your job to do all the work, however, having less responsibility creates higher expectations. First, I discussed using food to calm and perfect any wedding planning night.  Next, I encouraged grooms to quickly volunteer for the jobs they will excel at.  Today, I raise a topic I’m still trying to perfect: Giving your Opinion.

Step 3: Know when and how to give your opinion. When it comes to the groom’s opinion, the bride either needs it, is curious about it, or doesn’t want it at all.  Stating your opinion is walking on dangerous grounds for any groom, but keeping your mouth shut can be just as risky. Grooms, we’ve all made these mistakes, and it’s not one you want to make again. My advice is: wait until she asks, state your real opinion once, and support all of her suggestions.

If you wait until she asks, you will save yourself from saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.  Forcing your opinion on your bride is never a good idea. When she’s ready, she’ll ask.

When she asks, provide your input carefully. Whether she’s just curious, or needs your thoughts, giving your opinion one time is sufficient. No matter how strongly you feel about your opinion, giving it more than once is dangerous territory.  Your bride heard you, and knows how you feel.  And be honest—she can see right through a fake, canned answer, and giving one will be just as insulting as ignoring her. Use common sense, but try to tell the truth.

Finally, remind her that you’ll be happy either way. With all of the decisions and ideas to go over, forcing one on her will only add stress for both of you.  After you tell her what you think, let her know that you like her ideas too, and that you’ll be happy with either.

Grooms, don’t get me wrong, this is your wedding too. I’m not suggesting you sit down and watch your wedding go by, but remember, your fiancé is carrying most of the work on her shoulders. Perfecting the art of tactfully giving your opinion will go a long way with your bride!

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Read more from Ben the Groom on his blog.

Here’s a question to ask yourself if you’ve got a sibling bringing a serious GF/BF to your wedding: Do you want said significant other to be in the family wedding photos?

Make sure you-know-who is standing in easy Photoshop position

I’m not trying to sound insensitive. But let’s be honest, not all relationships last. In fact, some not only end, they end horribly. If your brother’s girlfriend decides to dump him for his best friend, do you really want to be starting at her face in your wedding album for the rest of your life?

I’ve been involved in weddings where this situation arose. It’s always interesting to see how each family handles it. Some options to consider are:

1. Take immediate family photos first and then ask the GF/BF to jump in for another shot or two with the family.
2. Don’t include them in immediate family shots, but invite them in for the larger group shots that involve the entire groom or bride’s side.
3. Let them be in the photos, but make sure they stand on a side so they can be Photo-shopped out (yes, I’ve actually seen this done before).

This is an interesting question to debate. What are your thoughts?

part 2 of ben the groom’s 3-part guest series on being a better fiance.

In my Groom Clues series I’m discussing three easy steps to becoming a better fiance. Step 1 introduced something every guy can get behind—food—and incorporating it into all wedding planning activities.  Food is a simple way to make the planning experience more enjoyable for the both of you.  I’ve learned that being a better fiancé doesn’t always mean extra work, it just takes some forethought.

Being a better groom isn't about harder work, it's about using your head and a little common sense.

Step 2: Volunteer for jobs that you can do well.  If you’ve taken the time to crack open any wedding book, chances are you’ve come across a page full of empty squares representing and endless list of tasks to complete.  This list of to-do’s is a great reminder of why you’re glad your bride is the one primarily in charge of the wedding.  Your fiancé is going to ask for plenty of your help with the items, so one way to make her feel special while making life easier on you is to quickly jump on the tasks you know you can do!

I knew that finding the right photographer could be a difficult & stressful task.  My fiance didn’t have anyone in mind and was going to start the search from scratch.  I, however, had a couple friends with contacts and photographer recommendations, so I quickly volunteered to take over this responsibility!  She now has one less job, and loves the fact that I stepped up to help, while I’m working on something i actually enjoy.

Grooms, pay attention to items on the list that play to your strengths.  You may not be great at finding ceremony location, but you could volunteer to schedule the visiting appointments. If you’re an organizer, volunteer to keep track of all the receipts and vendor documents.  If you’re on the computer all day at work, tell her you can be in charge of updating the online gift registries.  The more you voluteer to do, the happier she’ll be, and the less likely you’ll be stuck with jobs you’re terrible at performing.

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Read more from Ben the Groom on his blog.

Guest Blogger Profile: Simon Daykin

Your Best Man is the one guy who you can count on to stand with you when all others will not.  He is unwavering in his loyalty to you.  That being said he will not stand by and not voice his opinion.  He’ll offer the facts, let you know what he thinks and then NO MATTER WHAT you decide he will stand by you.  In short, if your life was a zombie film, he’s the guy you want to have watching your back.

You’ve Chosen Him Before You’ve Chosen Her

Usually you know exactly who your best man will be even before you have asked or even chosen the girl you want to marry.  Yup, the bond can be that strong.  I knew who my best man would be before I met my wife.  We live 3000 kms apart but we’re still tight and chat every chance we get.  This is a man I would die for.

He Tells It Like It Is Even If You Don’t Like It

So make sure you have that bond, you know he’ll give you straight up answers without worrying about offending you.  Sometimes the thing not said is the worst thing NOT to say.  You need to be comfortable with each other.  Way back in the day, the best man’s job was to spend the night with the groom the night before his wedding and make sure he didn’t make a run for it.  Strange but true.  The night before my wedding, my best man and I got a case of beer and sat around reminiscing and writing our speeches.  Well, in truth, he wrote his speech, I watched a movie, drank most of the beer and ad-libbed the whole thing the next day.  It went surprisingly well.

Best Man Etiquette

Make sure he knows he is YOUR BEST MAN.  Ask him to stand by you in private.  You can ask the wedding party as a whole, but ask you BM in private.  Here are some things that will make him stand apart from the rest of your bridal party:

* Make Him Unique- Have his tie or boutonniere differ from yours AND the wedding party’s so people know he is unto himself.

* Let Him Know His Responsibilities- He’ll be making a speech, so make sure you can count on him for that.  He should know not to tell the Mexican hooker story, but some people get caught up in the moment, or the bottle…if you have the bond I mentioned earlier this will not be problem. But he won’t be offended if you run him through some rules you’d like him to follow.

* He’s Your Party Planner- This man will also be the driving force behind your stag party as well.  Another good reason to pick a guy who knows you.  There is nothing worse than showing up and finding out it’s the old “donkey show” and you went and invited both your dad and the bride to be’s father.  Stag parties take on many different faces these days.  The strip club trip, while not a thing of the past, is no longer the be all and end all of the stag experience click here for information on Gutsy Groom’s Stag packages. If there is something you REALLY WANT to do, don’t be afraid to ask to work with him on the Stag.  Or at least let him know if there is anything you 100 percent do not want.

Simon’s Gutsy Groom Advice

Always pick a guy you know will stand by you.  This may offend or upset other friends but try to incorporate them into the wedding party or the wedding in some other way.  Real friends will understand why a certain person will be chosen to be your Best Man.  Treat him well, when picking wedding party gifts, get your best man a little something extra.  He deserves it.

If he has to travel a long distance and you can swing it, pick up his tux rental, send a kick ass car to get him from the airport or take him out for a great dinner.  He came all this way to stand by you so let him know how much that means to you.  Always be open to any questions he may have.

I have a lot of friends and I consider myself lucky enough to have quite a few good friends. But guys I would ask to stand by my side on the most important day of my life, well I can count those guys on one hand and I’m sure you can too.  It’s pretty bloody overwhelming to be a Best Man if you do it right.  And I want every man, standing next to you on that special day to be the Best Man they can be.

Today, we launch a three-part guest blog series from Ben the Groom on being a better fiance.

Playing the role as the supportive fiance is a never ending battle.  There is a fine line between doing nothing, making your bride think you’re apathetic, and being too involved, driving her crazy with questions about the budget. As I posted on my blog before, it’s not about how much you’re involved, it’s about how you’re involved. and there are plenty of ways to make life easier on yourself!

Ben says food, especially french toast, can make any wedding planning activity run smoother

STEP 1: Find ways to incorporate food into the any wedding planning activity.  For example, last night my fiancé told me that we need to make a checklist for the next two weeks.  Because it was late and we were both hungry, I knew that just sitting there, hovering over the same list of to-do’s, we were bound for trouble.  The solution? A quick meal of French toast to supplement our work. Within minutes, she was busy reviewing the list while I was making dinner, listening to her suggestions.

Remember though, you’re not making dinner instead of working with her, you’re making dinner while working. This same philosophy can be applied to almost any activity.  If she asks you to register at Bed-Bath-Beyond on a busy Thursday night, suggest you stop at Cracker Barrel afterwards to review your selections. Before you know it, you’ll be knee-deep in a Country Morning Breakfast for dinner, and she’s getting plenty of time to soak in the registry list you just created.

Next time your fiance asks you to help her complete a job think to yourself, how can food make this better?

Read more from Ben the Groom on his blog.