I was talking with my buddy Dave from Temple of Groom the other day about his upcoming wedding. He seemed exhausted and mentioned how stressful the last few months of wedding planning had been for him and his fiance. This is not a huge surprise as most of you know how much of a drain the last few months before the wedding can be. He made the comment that the stress was going to drive him to alcoholism or worse. I thought he was kidding and then I saw that crazy look in his eye. This dude was serious!

The conversation got me to thinking. Can you rank wedding planning stress levels through which vice the stress is driving you to? In national security terms, what would a code red be?

Here’s my attempt along with a few tips on coping with stress:

Code Can I get a Light?

Sample stress – The venue we want for the reception was just booked yesterday.

Stress can cause former smokers to pick up the habit again. And once you pick that up it’s quite hard to drop it. If you feel like this could be you, do yourself a favor and pick up one of those fancy electronic cigarettes.

Code Man v. Food

Sample stress – You’ve found the one date that works for you, your bride and your families when you discover that your best friend has scheduled his wedding for the same day.

Food is comforting. Hence the phrase ‘comfort food.’ However, high stress levels can often drive you to binge on unhealthy foods – and we don’t need Morgan Spurlock here to remind us that fast food is killing us one Value Meal at a time. One suggestion is to schedule a once-per-week date night with your fiance where you cook a homemade, healthy meal that’s not going to pile on the pounds before the big day.

Code Scotch

Sample stress – Three months out from the wedding, your honeymoon resort informs you that due to a computer error, your reservation has been canceled and you’re now on a “waiting list” for a room.

I love scotch. Scotchy Scotch. Scotch. Here it goes, down into my belly. Whether it’s scotch, or the liquor of your choice, a nice, stiff drink can taste so good after a hard day at work. But I don’t have to be a rocket scientist to tell you that one of the leading causes of alcoholism is stress. I actually do recommend drinking in moderation while planning the wedding (it’ll help you be more creative), just don’t let booze be a crutch that gets you through the process.

Code Double Down

Sample stress – The Best Man hasn’t been measured for his tux yet and the cut-off date just passed yesterday. It’s 50/50 whether he’ll be able to find an alternate tux elsewhere.

I just returned from a trip to Vegas and as always saw some sad characters at the blackjack table. I always ask myself what could be driving these people to gamble their life away. Is it that hard to turn and face your problems head on?  When planning a wedding, always keep in mind that this is the happiest time of your life. Stress is part of it, but you can’t let it beat you. Face it, accept it and move on. So what if your Best Man’s tux is going to be a shade darker than yours… it could be A LOT worse. You could be the guy at the blackjack table.

Code Green

Sample stress – Your caterer informs you three days before the wedding that they’re going out of business. You won’t be getting your deposit back.

Yes, I’ve actually heard of couples toking it up to cope with the stresses of wedding planning. I myself don’t partake in the giggle smoke, but from what I understand it can be quite relaxing. However, I just can’t quite wrap my mine around experimenting with it while planning your wedding – that’s what college was for.

Code Gibson

Sample stress – You wake up on the wedding day to discover a note from your bride telling you she’s run away with her ex.

I’m not going to comment much on what specifically comes after ‘Code Gibson.’ I’ll just say that I hope you’ve got a good lawyer.

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Disclosure – With two weeks before the wedding, Temple of Groom Dave is not an alcoholic or drug addict, nor is he broke from gambling away his life savings…. yet.

What code are you on? Have you turned from an occasional drinker into a binge drinker? Have you become a full fledged drug addict? Let us know in the comments section below.

DO: Remember to Have Fun

From the moment he pops the question, there’s one thing groom-to-be thinks about more than anything else – the bachelor party. This isn’t a new phenomenon either, as bachelor parties are rooted in ancient history. Many believe that the Spartans were the first to hold bachelor parties as a celebration of the groom’s last night as a single man. This celebration included dinner and drinks with many a toast given in the grooms honor. The term bachelor itself, used as we do today, first appeared courtesy of Geoffrey Chaucer and his Canterbury Tales in the 14th century.

Bachelor parties have come a long way since then, and more importantly, they’ve become much more creative. Unfortunately, they’ve also tended to get more out of hand as well. In more recent times, bachelor party debauchery has even contributed to numerous celebrity break-ups. Paris Hilton, Mario Lopez and Ali Landry have all had relationships affected by the grooms last night out.

From fancy five-star dinners to a weekend in Vegas, there are many different ways to throw a bachelor party. But regardless of your party preference, there are some basic tips and advice worth following. These bachelor party dos and don’ts can make or break the celebration – and even the groom if you’re not careful.

1. Don’t let the groom pay
No matter how generous he is, the groom shouldn’t have to pay for anything during his bachelor party. It’s his last night out as one of the guys, so take care of him. Certain exceptions can be made, especially if the celebration spans a weekend or longer. But make sure to cover him when it counts – after all, it’s his celebration, right?

2. Do something different.
If your group always hangs out at the same bar or goes to the same restaurant or club, don’t go back to that place for the bachelor party. Take the groom somewhere different – hopefully somewhere nicer too. Whether he’ll admit it or not, this is a big deal for him, so do something special. Go all out, that way there are no regrets when he looks back on the night 10 years from now.

3. Don’t let yourself get tired
This is particularly important for weekend excursions or trips to Vegas. No, we’re not talking about doing anything illegal here, but some real simple things can help make sure everyone’s energetic and enjoying the party. Sleep can be hard to come by on a bachelor party weekend, so know where to find a good cup of coffee if you’re on an overnight trip. Better yet, bring one of your own coffee makers along with you. This can save you some serious money too – Starbucks gets expensive!

4. Do some advance planning
As great as it made the plot of The Hangover, don’t try to hold a bachelor party any closer than three days before the wedding. There’s just too much that can go wrong. Trust me – the bride and her family will thank you. Be sure to start planning early, as well, especially if there are a number of guys traveling for the occasion.

5. Don’t let the groom do anything he’ll regret
He’s still engaged, after all, so don’t let him get too out of control. It’s the best man’s job to make sure the groom behaves, which is actually the second most important thing he has to do – other than plan the bachelor party. Everyone else is on his own, just make sure to keep an eye on the groom. If Mario Lopez can get caught, then there’s no reason to expect that he won’t.

6. Do remember to have fun
Despite all the excitement and planning going into the bachelor party celebration, the most important thing is to just have fun. At the end of the day, it’s all your friends together celebrating an important moment in the groom’s life. Don’t lose sight of that amongst all the other craziness that may or may not be going on. And remember that at the end of the day, it’s not where you are or what you’ll do that matters – it’s who you’re with that really counts.

Mike Tennant is a freelance writer and columnist from Orange County, CA. Mike currently works with Air & Water Inc., where he helps newlyweds pick out their first wine cooler and tries to make other home appliance shopping exciting.

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We want to hear from you. What other do’s and don’ts do you have for throwing a memorable bachelor party? Let us know in the comments section below.

It should be pretty easy to tell if she’s happy with the engagement ring. Tears of joy are generally a good sign. The ten things listed below are not!

10.) She “accidentally” cuts off her finger so she doesn’t have to wear it.

9.) She only wears it while doing yard work or working with heavy-duty machinery.

8.) The first words out of her mouth are: “I haven’t been this disappointed since I first saw you without pants on.”

7.) After putting on the ring, the first thing she does is remove all of the drain covers in the house.

6.) She is actively trying to talk you out of getting it insured.

5.) At this very moment, she’s down at the pawn shop trying to trade it in for a used VCR.

4.) She keeps saying that she doesn’t remember “crap” being one of the 4 C’s?

3.) She tells you that unless you exchange it for a new one, she’s going to give new meaning to the term “blood diamond.”

2.) You tell her that you’ve also purchased the matching wedding band and she jumps out the window.

1.) As she’s showing it off to her family, you overhear her say: “I know it’s small and ugly, but my next husband will make up for it.”

10.) It’s you and your parents in the basement watching Wheel of Fortune.

9.) You ordered a stripper named Erin. You got a stripper named Aaron.

8.) You just ran out of game tokens for skee-ball and that giant mouse keeps trying to drag you into the ball pit.

7.) Instead of a beautiful woman, a homeless man named Jimbo has just jumped out of your cake.

6.) The hot waitress at Hooter’s that you’ve been admiring from behind turns out to be your fiance. Surprise!

5.) You told your Best Man you wanted a bachelor party in Las Vegas, NV. You got a bachelor party in Las Vegas, NM.

4.) It’s 3:30am and you can’t find a single tattoo removal service that’s open.

3.) The Best Man was just kicked out of the gentlemen’s club for asking a stripper for change.

2.) Somehow, you’re the designated driver.

1.) It’s 8:30 and you’re already in bed.

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Check out  more Top Ten lists here.

If you enjoyed 10 Things Not to Say to the Bride, we think you’ll like ‘10 Things You Don’t Want to Hear From Her on the Wedding Day’ even more.

10.) Honey, please make me a promise that you’ll never Google my name.

9.) Does the 20th or 21st of each month work better for doing that sex thing?

8.) Are you sad about seeing your friends for the last time tonight at the reception?

7.) Don’t expect any cool gifts. I deleted your Man Registry three weeks ago.

6.) My private investigator followed you to your bachelor party. We need to talk.

5.) Now that we’re married, I guess I can stop exercising.

4.) Goodbye Sportscenter. Hello cuddle parties.

3.) You. Me. Your Best Man. Tonight. What do ya say?

2.) I hate to spring this on you last-minute, but I wanted to let you know that my parents are coming on our honeymoon with us.

And drumroll….

1.) Just think hubby, we’ll be parents by this time next year!