Buying a home is a huge decision for anyone, but buying your first home together is a significant step in your life journey as a couple. Not only are you facing the financial commitment of purchasing your first home, you are also choosing the space that will contain your new, and perhaps growing, family.

The process of buying a home together begins long before you begin shopping for a mortgage loan. There are a number of questions and issues to be addressed before financing is even a consideration. While star-struck lovers might go into buying their first home with romantic thoughts of painting walls and decorating together, the reality often proves more prosaic. Will you keep his furniture or hers, or combine the two households? Will the decorating style reflect her modern tastes or his preference for country-style whimsy? Who gets to choose the curtains and the carpets, and will that hideous chair that one hates and the other adores find a place in the shared space?

Before shopping for a new home, it is important for couples to take an inventory of not only their possessions, but also their personal preferences when it comes to living space. Communication is essential at this juncture. Taking the time to sit down and make lists of the features each imagines in their ideal “dream home” will spark conversation. Maybe she has always wanted a spiral staircase. Perhaps he adores cathedral style ceilings! Initially, the lists might include far-reaching ideas like a balcony with a slide to the living room. Obviously budget and practicality will dictate which features you actually end up shopping for in your search for a home, but the list gives you a starting place for discussion and helps narrow down what sort of home would best suit both your needs and desires. Recognizing and respecting each others’ preferences is an important step toward learning one of the most critical relationship skills: compromise.

Next, couples need to take an honest and lengthy look at their financial situation. Loans for buying a home are based on income, credit history and the debt to income ratio. Now is the time for full disclosure. It is important to assess income versus debt and savings, to get a realistic idea of just how big a home your budget will support. Overreaching, and buying a larger home than is truly affordable is a common mistake for first-time homebuyers. With the shaky economy and less-than-stellar job market, it’s best not to count on an increase in future income. Instead, look at homes within your means. Balance possible future needs (like space for a nursery) against what you need, and can afford, now.

Buying the first home is a big step for any couple. The process can be complicated and difficult, but it is a great opportunity for you and your beloved to practice valuable communications and teamwork skills that will build your relationship. After all, you are not just buying a house; you are choosing to create a home together that will play a big part in your family life for years to come.

Charles Jackon, is a veteran of two marriages (and divorces). During his experiences, he has met and dealt with attorneys and counselors as well as countless other couples going through similar ordeals. After realizing that much of the emotional and financial stress involved with marriage and divorce was avoidable, he made it his goal to help couples identify and accept financial issues they may face while contemplating marriage or divorce. Charles firmly believes that by being aware of these issues early in the wedding planning/decision making process, will allow you to make better decisions on the issues you may face.

Here are just a few of the topics covered in this resourceful guide

A Guide to Understanding the Laws Surrounding Marriage Licenses – Charles explains the process of obtaining a valid state marriage license, hiring an officiant to marry you and understanding/complying with the laws in your state.

How to Identify and Protect Your Separate Assets – You might not know it, but any assets that you own before getting married will legally always be yours. In this portion of the book, Charles provides a guide on the pros/cons of combing assets and how to identify what’s “yours” and what’s “ours.”

Do Prenuptial Agreements Really Work – You probably don’t need to be told what a prenup is. The larger questions that many couples seek help with are “Do I need one?” and “Do they work?”  There are several benefits (and several disadvantages) of signing a one. Charles walks you through all of them.

Sharing More Than Just Last Names – Do you collect classic cars? Do you have multiple, large investments in your name? The book will tell you how marriage affects these assets and what you can do to protect yourself if you fear divorce may be on the horizon.

And although we hope this doesn’t apply to anyone reading this blog, the book also covers a wide range of topics related to the divorce process. Not only does Charles get into the legal and personal issues involved with ending a marriage, he also provides thought on reasons to stay married. Acknowledging that every marriage faces challenges, he provides valuable insight on why jumping the gun on a divorce may not be the best call. If you happen to know anyone currently going through a divorce, I can vouch that this book would be a great resource for them.

Click to order 'Second Thoughts on Marriage & Divorce'

Like what you see? You can purchase the book for $15 off retail here. You can also connect further with Charles Jackson via Twitter, Facebook and Youtube.

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second thoughts on marriage & divorce is a sponsor of the man registry’s groomsadvice blog

Have you and your bride-to-be discussed finances? Do you plan on combining assets or keeping them separate? Are you considering a prenup? Tell us your story in the comments section below.

By Hunter Stiebel from The Broke Ass Bride

Gentlemen, congratulations on deciding to make the commitment of your life to your one true love! That is some manly s*#t you are pulling off. Since the moment you got down on bended knee, I bet you’ve had a bunch of  Conversations with your girlfriend, ahem pardon me, Fiancée, about the wedding. While your wife may be
transfixed as to how every detail must be perfectly beautiful, your top priority is more likely “How can we make this the funnest damn party I ever did throw?”

If that’s not the case, WAKE UP BROTHA!!! If this is going to be the most cash you’ve ever thrown down on a party, don’t you think it should be the most fun party humanly possible? Right. So, how do you make sure your wedding is a blast? Two simple words my friends: Food and Booze. A well-fed and buzzed wedding guest is an ecstatic, loving guest. As I write this I’m stuffed but sober, so lets focus on booze.

This groom knows that booze is important even before the wedding - photo Shannon Lee Images

“But Hunter” you say, “I’m trying to have a budget wedding.” Fear not my friend, the wedding that only serves pizza, wine and beer will beat out the tea tolling wedding where diamonds are hung from every corner any day of the week. But As the old saying goes, “Ya want booze? Cash you’re gonna loose.” Hmmm I’m not sure that’s a saying, but the one thing I do know is that when it comes to a wedding, couples are taken off guard by how much the holy spirits of the party end up costing them.  So here are some tips so you don’t get caught in the money pit behind the boozy curtain.

1) Location Location Location. Its sad how many times I’ve heard a couple think they’ve found the perfect location at the perfect price with no knowledge of the numbers they are soon to see. The rental was a steal, they even put down the deposit but then they found out that no outside liquor was allowed and the bar cost up to tens of thousands of dollars.  One of the first questions you want to ask a location is what is your catering/liquor policy. Some are flexible others are not.

2) The best way to pull off a cheap wedding bar will always be to bring in your own booze. Some locations will charge you to do this rather than use their services. Pop out the calculator and see if it’s worth it. Most likely it is. Sometimes it’s an insurance issue. See if your caterer or your planner has insurance that will cover you doing your own bar.

3) If the facility has no lee way on their bar policies, an easy way to save is by closing the bar after cocktail hour and serving only wine and beer with dinner.

4) Another route is to nix the full bar and go with a few signature cocktails plus wine and beer. We did a pear martini and called it… wait for it… “The Perfect Pear”.  Have a cocktail with the taste preferences of the bride and one of the grooms. Folks will love this bit of wedding inspiration and by drink two they’ll be everyone’s favorite.

5) Still trying to save a few more dollars? Doing just wine and beer is just fine and don’t let nobody tell ya different. No matter what your guests are into, they should be cool with one or the other. Consider tapping a keg to keep costs down, and don’t be afraid to cleverly re-label your cheap neighborhood wine and suddenly two buck chuck is a unique wedding vino.

Going one of these routes should make everyone happy. If someone isn’t happy with those choices, then that’s their problem and they were going to find something to complain about no matter what. Why did you invite that person anyway…? Oh right, they’re your third cousin. Yeah, third cousins are the worst… unless they are the person you happen to be marrying. If that’s the case may you live happily ever, and may I be the first to make a toast to your future children with lovely large chins.

Cheers!

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Hunter Stiebel A.K.A The Fresh Hubby is president of Broke-Ass Media and regular contributor and editor of the award winning The Broke-Ass Bride. The Broke-Ass Bride website inspires and empowers readers to make the most of what they have by using creative, outside-the-box ideas rooted in practical advice to have a bad-ass wedding on any budget. Also, The Broke-Ass Bride has non-stop weekly giveaways and deals… it’s kind of nuts.

This brings me to Greenvelope.com. Greenvelope is the brainchild of Sam Franklin — a student at Washington University in St. Louis that decided a heavy college workload at a prestigious university wasn’t enough. He also wanted to start a company. I dig that outlook on entrepreneurship and I also dig his idea: a personalized approach to paperless wedding invitations.

Introducing Greenvelope.com

Greenvelope provides clients an environmentally-friendly service to easily customize and send formal wedding invitations electronically (via e-mail). They offer three packages — including the free “bronze” package for your Save-the-Date cards.

To help celebrate their launch, Greenvelope is offering our readers a 25% discount on their two most popular packages. Users entering the coupon code “themanregistry” will receive:

• 25% off the Silver or Gold Package
• New Package or Upgrade eligible.
• Good for 3 Months
• Unlimited Use – Can even be used for multiple events within the same account.
• VIP support and guidance.

A sampling of what Greenvelope offers..

Greenvelope is easy to use because it was designed with the user-experience in mind. A few of our favorite features are:

• No ads! – Greenvelope takes electronic invitations to the next level, by introducing an unexplored level of formality: ad-free wedding invitations. Guests do not see pop-ups, ad banners, or receive spam.
• Organization – Your guest list will be easy to keep organized with the simple management tools that Greenvelope provides. Users are instantly notified when a guest RSVP’s, and the guest list updates automatically to show any changes.

For the full list of features, click here.

We hope that you’ll check out Greenvelope.com. For further information, you can follow them on Twitter and “like” them on Facebook.

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Readers – what do you think of Greenvelope? Would you consider going paperless with your wedding invitations and save-the-dates? In what other areas of wedding planning are you going green? Let us know in the comments.

With so many wedding expenses, it’s easy to forget about tipping your wedding vendors on the big day. While it isn’t necessary to tip all of your vendors, some will definitely appreciate — and expect — it. A wedding planner, if you’re using one, best man or family member typically handles doling out gratuities.

First, make sure to check your contracts. Oftentimes, gratuity may already be included for some services, such as your caterer’s wait staff or limousine driver. But if not, tipping is a nice gesture, especially for those vendors who exceed your expectations or do an outstanding job. At the bare minimum, thank you-notes are always appreciated.

Remember, every couple is different and some can tip more than others. Here’s a quick cheat sheet based on averages we calculated after talking to grooms, brides and vendors:

Ceremony Musicians – if you’ve hired an orchestra, band or vocalists for the ceremony, $15-$20 per musician is customary. (Note that you don’t need to tip the solo organist at the church.)

DJs or Bands – $20-$25 for musicians/individual band members; $25-$50 for DJs.

Officiant – while it isn’t necessary to tip your officiant, a separate donation to the religious institution is a standard gesture.

Wedding Planners, Photographers, Videographers – tipping isn’t necessary for vendors who own their own businesses. But for those who go above and beyond, we highly recommend a 10% tip. If your budget doesn’t allow for that, providing professional photographs displaying the vendor’s handiwork is a solid gesture.

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Grooms and brides: do your vendor contracts have tips built in? Have you and your fiance talked about vendor gratuity? Let us know in the comments section below.  Vendors: we’d love to hear your thoughts on the topic as well.