Whether it’s for Christmas or the honeymoon, the gift of lingerie is sure to please your fiancée. The problem is, most men don’t have the first clue on how to buy it. And the ones who do sometimes can’t conquer the anxiety that goes along with a lingerie shopping expedition. We hope the following guide will help alleviate some of these issues.

Look familiar?

By Elizabeth Tigar, Special to GroomsAdvice from Shop-Underwear

Let’s be honest—gifting lingerie is like getting two for one. It’s a present for her; and, because you’ll also be enjoying how fabulous your lady looks in it, it’s a treat for you too. After all, lingerie is just about the most feminine item a woman can own. But therein lies the problem: whether they’re embarrassed about wandering around a women’s lingerie shop alone, or just plain clueless about ladies underwear, many men have a serious lingerie-shopping phobia.

It’s true, walking into a women’s lingerie store can be an intimidating thing for guys. Those who’ve been too wary in the past should try baby steps like seeking out a smaller boutique lingerie shop. You’re less likely to be overwhelmed by the amount of choices, and you’re more likely to find a salesperson who can give you a little help.

For all the guys out there holiday shopping for your significant others, here are some helpful hints to overcome lingerie-buying anxiety:

1. Come prepared. Before you venture out to buy her lingerie—or anything that comes with a size—you should know what size she is. All this takes is a bit of detective work. Sneak a peek in her underwear drawer (or maybe just at the tag on the bra that’s still on your floor), and note what sizes you see. Bras have a cup (A, B, C, D etc.) and a band size (32, 34, 36). Panties generally come in small, medium or large. Take note of both and bring them with you when you decide to shop.

2. Ask for help. I know this goes against everything a man stands for, but lingerie sales professionals will always know more about the merchandise than you do. So just ask! Mention you’re shopping for a gift and tell them her size.They should be able to guide you in the right direction.

3. Keep it mild. This especially applies for the first-time undergarment gift. DO NOT, under any circumstances, go too sexy with the first undergarment gift. Translation: nothing too see-through (lace is a yes, mesh is a no), nothing too itty-bitty (save g-strings for later) and certainly nothing edible (do we need to say that?), and absolutely, no exceptions, never ever anything without a crotch. Even if sexy is her thing, you risk turning her WAY off with your gift if it’s too risqué, which is exactly the opposite of what you’re going for. Stick to something more tame. A great bra and panty set that she could wear for something other than a special occasion. Maybe even something like a cute nightie. Not the granny kind, mind you—the flirty short kind. This will show her that you’re interested in making her feel pretty and comfortable, not necessarily just seeing her dressed up all racy for you.

Sidenote, When it’s okay to push the envelope: Definitely wait until you’re committed to one another. Critiques on undergarments from someone you’re just dating will get you kicked to the curb fast. Stepping up the game by giving her something sexy is something that can be a welcome surprise. Just make sure you present it with the attitude of “I think you’re amazing and sexy, and I thought this would make you feel exactly like that. But if you don’t like it, that’s okay.” And never with the attitude of “I’m totally sick of your basic cotton undies.” Be tasteful, be respectful. She’ll love you for the gesture all the same.

4. Gift it privately. Lingerie is not a gift you want to see her open in the middle of a restaurant, even a small romantic one. Give her the gift in the privacy of your home, or hers. It’s more comfortable for everyone involved.

5. Don’t be discouraged. Worst case scenario: it’s not her thing. Don’t beat yourself up too much or give up on the idea entirely. If you can tell she doesn’t like it, or if you never see her put it on, ask her gently what she didn’t love about it. Ask her what she likes and take notes for next time.

Following that plan, there’s a decent chance you’ll hit a home run, if not the first time, then maybe the second. Regardless of whether it’s perfect, it’s always the thought—and not the thong—that counts.

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Elizabeth Tigar is the owner of Austin, TX, lingerie boutique Underwear. Visit www.shop-underwear.com to check out the latest styles.

Kids at weddings is always a hot button issue when it comes to wedding debates. The children are the future, but do they belong front and center on your big day? To get to the bottom of this highly contested argument, we gathered some of our rowdy friends for our first ever panel discussion.

These guys are harmless, right?

Many couples opt for a kid-free wedding day to help maintain the sophisticated ambiance. Others let children play a major role in the day’s festivities. Where do you stand on kids being in attendance: cool or controversial?

BRIAN LEAHY (Founder, The Groom Says)

Unpredictability is definitely IN right now, and what’s less predictable than a six-year-old at a wedding? Look — what’s the worse that can happen? He/she consumes the entire dessert table and blows chunks on the bride’s shoes … and is that so bad? Most kids will either be intrigued (i.e. listening) or utterly bored (i.e. asleep) during the ceremony. As for the reception, their inexplicable bursts of energy on the dance floor make up for all of the old folks and anti-socials who refuse to boogie. My opinion is — if you’re gonna exclude anyone from the wedding, make it the non-dancers.

HUNTER STIEBEL (President, Broke Ass Media)

Like the song says, “It’s a family afaaaaair. It’s a family afaaaaair.” So shouldn’t the whole family be there? If you don’t want certain people (or the entire wedding) to be weighed down by the kids, then arrange for someone to assist in caring/distracting the children. Now, I’m not saying everyone who has a kid should be invited to bring them, but this celebration is about welcoming one another into each others family. It seems only right that the cutest members be able to represent. If for some reason capacity doesn’t allow for kids, that’s understandable… but they are half the size of a normal guest and you don’t know the meaning of sophistication until you’ve seen a 4 year old in a tuxedo (For extra sophistication add a mustache).

MARTA BLOCK (Editorial Director, GigMasters.com)

As with most wedding questions, there’s no one answer that works for all couples. If you are having kids at the wedding make sure to consider your youngest guests when hiring entertainment. Talk to your band or DJ about ways to make sure the kids are occupied and having fun and consider hiring additional entertainment that will appeal to kids and adults alike (magician, face painter, balloon twister, photo booth). It’s perfectly alright to not include kids in your guest list, but if you don’t want kids, don’t be surprised or offended if some out of town guests don’t attend. You can offer to help out-of-town guests find childcare, but depending on the age of the kids, many parents won’t be comfortable leaving their children with sitters they don’t know.

EARL ANDERSON (Certified Cake Pimp, Fantasy Frostings)

I understand the reasoning behind a “Kid-Free” wedding. I also understand vegetarians, but I wouldn’t want to be one. A wedding is a celebration of family. The founding of a new family. To me, family means kids. Lots of kids running wild at the reception. If you want to have a quiet, solemn moment  during the ceremony, I suggest an Event Sitter. Our friend Tish at Elegant Event Sitters does a great job entertaining the kids during the quiet times. You can have it both ways.

DAVE SOLDINGER (Founder, Temple of Groom)

My wedding was “no kids allowed”.  Look, I love kids, one day I want one or two of em, but right now, I say leave them at home with the sitter.  Children are just a giant X factor.  Do you really want the most important day of your life interrupted by a screaming child having a tantrum?  The last wedding I was at a child wondered onto the dance floor during the couple’s first dance.  It was cute, and the wedding couple rolled with it, but come on do you want a kid upstaging you on your day?  We adore our puppy and wanted him to take part in our wedding, but even we had to draw the line.  No puppies, no children.  That being said, look, if the kid is YOURS, fine, he/she is allowed to come – there are exceptions I guess.  I just don’t want hate mail from angry parents about to get married!

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Now we want to hear your take. How do you feel about kids at weddings? Which answer above do you agree/disagree most with? Chime in by leaving a comment below.

If watching ‘Mad Men’ has taught me anything, it’s that cocktails and men go hand-in-hand. They also tend to go over very well at showers, rehearsal dinners and wedding receptions. In fact, going with a signature cocktail as opposed to an open bar is one of the best ways to reduce your budget (especially if your friends drink like mine). A fun and increasingly popular concept is to opt for two cocktail selections, one selected by the bride and another by the groom. This way, you can have the best of both worlds. For the guys, here’s a few personal favorites to consider as you begin your quest to get your wedding guests sufficiently drunk and satisfied.

Feeling like an extra stealthy groom? The Vesper is famous for being James Bond’s drink of choice.

Ingredients – 3oz. Gordon’s gin, 1oz. vodka, 1/2 oz. Lillet Blanc

Preparation – In the words of Bond himself, shake it very well until it’s ice-cold, then add a large thin slice of lemon peel.

It doesn’t get any more manly than the Manhattan. If you’ve never had one, you’d be doing yourself a huge favor ordering one the next time you’re out on the town.

Ingredients – 3/4 oz. sweet vermouth, 2 1/2 oz. whiskey (pref. bourbon), 1 dash Angostura bitters, 1 maraschino cherry, 1 twist orange peel

Preparation – Mix the vermouth, whiskey, and bitters with three ice cubes in a mixing glass. Gently stir the drink. Place the cherry in a chilled cocktail glass and strain the whiskey mixture over the cherry. Rub the cut edge of the orange peel over the rim of the glass and twist it over the drink to release the juice.

Trust us, it’s not as bad as the name implies. And did we mention, its main ingredient is scotch?

Ingredients – 1 1/2 oz. Scotch whisky, 1/2 oz. Drambuie Scotch whisky, 1 lemon peel twist

Preparation – Mix the Scotch and Drambuie together over ice and stir. Use the lemon twist to garnish the glass.

If you’re having a summer wedding and want a classic drink that’s perfect for a hot day, look no further than our old friend Mr. Tom Collins.

Ingredients – 1¼ oz. Tanqueray gin, 1 oz lemon juice or lime juice, 1 tsp sweet and sour mix, 1 splash club soda, 1 maraschino cherry, 1 orange slice

Preparation – In a shaker, mix the Tanqeray, juice and sweet/sour mix over ice. Shake well and then strain into a Collins glass that’s pre-filled with ice. From there, add the club soda and garnish with the orange slice and cherry.

Another classic cocktail that fits in great at weddings. It’s origins are French, France is romantic, you do the math…

Ingredients – 3/4oz. Cointreau, 3/4oz. brandy, 3/4oz. lemon juice

Preparation – Fill a mixing glass with ice and add in all three ingredients. Shake heartily and pour into a cocktail glass. For added taste, wet the rim of the glass and coat with a thin layer of sugar.

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Have you discussed having an open bar versus having a few select cocktails at your reception or rehearsal dinner? Would you consider serving any of these featured drinks at your wedding? Let us know in the comment section below.

Back in February, we introduced you to Kevin Cotter and his hilariously awesome blog My Ex-Wife’s Wedding Dress. After going through a divorce, Kevin devised a list of 101 cynical creative uses for his ex’s wedding dress that she had left behind (like this, this and this). Since then, his story has gone national and even landed him a book deal. Today, we’re hooking up two of our readers with copies of said book. To enter, just leave a comment below with what your creative use for the dress would be.

Kevin’s story begins (as most marriages do) in happier times. That happiness lasted until July 5th, 2009, when his wife of 12 years announced she was leaving. From the book cover – When she left, she had no interest in grabbing her wedding dress on the way out. “What am I going to do with it?” he asked. “Whatever the f**k you want,” she replied. After careful consideration, Kevin did what any newly divorced man would do with his ex-wife’s wedding dress: He made it into a cape, an oven mitt, a shower curtain and then decided to document his experience in a blog.

I’ve gotten to know Kevin over the last year, and believe his story to be truly unique. His book adds to the lore of his tale and actually brings his story full circle. If you haven’t visited his blog or seen any of the dress uses, I highly recommend picking up a copy on Amazon.

Dress use #50: snow camouflage

Dress use #49: MC Hammer Pants

Dress use #52: scarecrow

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Want a copy of Kevin’s book? Simply leave a comment below with what your use would be for the wedding dress. On Friday (10/28), we’ll randomly select two winners and send them each a copy of the book!

Today’s post comes courtesy of our friends at Next Day Flyers. They’ve got some helpful tips on place card holder and save-the-date savings — so pay attention!

So is your fiancée running around like crazy trying to plan every last detail of the upcoming wedding? Of course she is. She wants everything to be perfect. But that’s why you love her right?  Perhaps you could help her out with a detail or two.  It will make both your lives much more pleasant. Start with the printing needs. There’s a great online printer, Next Day Flyers, who is offering folded business cards which work great as place card holders.  The best part about ordering these cards is the low price tag. As we all know any product related to weddings is automatically given a higher price tag. A bit of a wedding markup is always factored in. These folded business cards however aren’t specifically marketed as wedding place card holders. They are nonetheless a card that’s the exact same size as a place holder but given a different name.  Thus you’re not stabbed in the gut with the high price tag. You can get a set of 100 for less than $40, which should help keep you aligned with your budget.

If you haven’t sent out save the date announcements yet, once again you should avoid going to printing companies specializing in wedding needs. Just find an online printing company offering postcards. The bigger name printers will have a tool on their site to allow you to create and design your announcement online. How hard is it to upload a photo of you and your significant other, add a personalized message and order? It’s not hard at all, and it doesn’t have to be expensive either.  A set of 100 4”x6” postcards can be purchased for less than $25.  So before your wife-to-be starts nagging you even further, take some initiative and get a couple things done. It will help her out, and you’ll come out looking like a hero.

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This post presented by Next Day Flyers.

Guys: are you getting involved with the design and printing of the wedding or rehearsal dinner invitations? Share your printing experience in the comment section below.