2012 wedding season is upon us. What’s your favorite groom-oriented trend for this year? If you don’t have a one, suggest one for us.

IAN (Founder, A Groom’s Diary)

My favorite trend is that I’m finally seeing grooms get their balls back.  We’re in an era of mixed bachelor/bachelorette parties, ornate first dances and guys going for mani/pedis with their groomsmen the day of the wedding.  This year testosterone seems to be bouncing back.  I got invited to a bachelor party where the description was “I’m renting a house on the lake and buying a ****load of booze.  Let me know if you can make it.”  It was incredibly refreshing.  More basic black tuxes instead of over-thinking color-coordinated suits.  More scotch, less mojitos. More steak, less salmon.  I may sound like I just walked out of my cave, but it is good to see guys acting like guys again!

HANA ABAZA (Founder, Wedding Republic)

In general, grooms have been getting more involved in the wedding planning process and 2012 will be no exception. We’re going to see grooms injecting some of their own personality into the big day. Weddings are beginning to shift from being solely bride–centric to more couple–centric. Some great examples of this include the rise of groom cakes, a little more personality incorporated into grooms’ attire, and as we’ve seen at Wedding Republic, more grooms are actively participating in the planning process such as setting up a couples wedding registry. But fair warning… an increase in groom involvement will likely go hand in hand with a rise in Groomzillas!

KARA HORNER (Blogger & Media Director, The Man Registry)

Extreme bachelor parties. Whether it’s the residual Hangover effect or the need for some macho male bonding time, more and more grooms are going big when it comes to their bachelor parties, and they’re taking their entire wolfpack (AKA, groomsmen) with them. Why hit the local bar or strip joint when you can make a manly weekend of it by traveling to a cool destination within driving distance or a quick nonstop away? Beyond the tried and true, such as boozing it up in Vegas, think golfing at Pebble Beach, rock climbing in Utah, fly fishing in Montana, skiing in Colorado or white water rafting in Tennessee. Word to the wise: If you hear banjos playing in the distance, it’s time to head back–fast.

AZURE NELSON (Editorial Director, OneWed)

We all know what “zilla” implies—irrational, stressed to the brink, micromanaging the hell outta things…you get the idea. And thanks to one jilted groom filing suit  against his wedding photographer 6 years (and one divorce) after his I Do’s, and a piece on Good Morning America about the trend of grooms taking a greater interest in the wedding planning process, the term “groomzilla” was born. But the rise of the groomzilla is not our favorite groom-oriented 2012 trend. In fact, we think calling interested, engaged, involved grooms THIS, crazy zillas, is totally unfair! The relationship between a bride and groom, husband and wife, should be equal, so the 2012 trend of grooms taking an equal interest in the wedding planning is one we celebrate and embrace! Just don’t expect to see the word groomzilla on OneWed anytime soon…

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Now it’s your turn to chime in. Leave a comment with your favorite groom trend for the upcoming wedding season. Don’t have one? Suggest one. Leave your comment below!

The debate over gay marriage has been at the forefront of the American civil-rights discussion since California’s battle over Proposition 8 in 2008. With each day, the division over the topic becomes more pronounced.  We are one week into 2012 and two states (New Jersey and Washington) have introduced new legislation that would mimic that of New York State’s controversial bill in favor of gay marriage, which was made famous by Governor Andrew Cuomo performing marriages himself to publicize his stance on the issue.  (An act that did much to rally propionates of gay marriage and only further fueled the ire of its opponents.)  From the beginning however, it has been my belief that the core of this debate is not one of legal or moral judgment, but simply an issue of the very human decency upon which our country was formed.

Like a lot of people, I get my news second-hand and through reaction rather than actual reporting, so I did a few Wikipedia searches, and this is what I could glean:

-One side believes that gay people should have the right to marry, the same as anyone else.
-The other side is suggesting that all gay people should be forced to marry immediately.
Am I getting that right?

Yes, gay people choose a lifestyle that is foreign and obscure in the minds of many, but they are people, the same as you and me.  If two gay men want to move-in together, but don’t feel the need to sign up for an institution where you have a better than 50% chance of giving away half of your stuff in a few years, they should have that right!  The idea that the Governor of one of the most-prominent states in the country would make such a public scene out of these barbaric laws makes me question whether the Constitution is still the living, breathing document that it was designed to be by its framers.

Several years ago, my friend Bryan moved from Northern California—where he’d spent his entire life—to Austin, Texas.  He told his mother that it was a professional move, but we all knew that he was going to live out his life’s dream of being that 30-year-old dude who prowls college bars for 21-year-old, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, huge-breasted arm-candy that he lures in by buying them $2000 purses and $700 pairs of shockingly tight jeans.  He’s able to do this because the Declaration of Independence promised us “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness”.  The rights later guaranteed by the Constitution only further-enabled him to chase girls that are far too young for him, without the fear of marriage being forced upon him, because he’s an American, damnit!  (And for those of you who do not believe that there were gay men taking part in the ratification of the Constitution, you clearly haven’t seen how those guys wore their hair!)

If  Bryan can troll Austin in search of the stripper-next-door, why can’t my 30-year-old gay friends rent a condo adjacent to NYU and lure in fabulous, sensitive 21-year-old Interior Design majors with…well…the exact same purse and jeans combo Bryan buys in Austin?
Because the bleeding-heart liberals in Washington DC won’t let them, that’s why.

Instead they force gay marriage on our country and tell them that this is what America is supposed to be.  These out-of-touch politicians force two otherwise happy gay men into driving to Crate and Barrel to register for matching fuchsia linens.  But really.  What does a gay couple need with another set of matching fuchsia linens? They barely have the room to store the four sets that they already have! It’s un-Constitutional I tell you!

So as I prepare for my wedding, I do so knowing that I’ve sifted through hundreds of bad fits, over-planners, jealous types, closet drunks, mouth-breathers, stalkers, fatties, skinnies, clingers, non-flossers, flirts, liars, over-perfumers, under-bathers, mustache-havers, Sex and The City-watchers, match.com picture photoshoppers and every other type before finding Ms. Right.  Don’t gay people have the same right, to find their Right?

Or maybe I’m missing something in the greater debate. This plan seems nuts to me—almost as crazy as an idea I found in one post where gay people wouldn’t be allowed to marry at all!  I assume that was a typo though…Wikipedia is often full of mistakes.

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Ian is chronicling his engagement in his blog “A Groom’s Diary”.  He covers the entire pantheon of the marriage experience with his unique blend of satire and complete nonsense.  He is a native and resident of Seattle, WA and dips potato chips in ketchup. Follow him on twitter @agroomsdiary.

Mr. Frostings: Having talked with DeAnna throughout the process, I was surprised how calm she was.  Your support obviously was a big help. Your groomsmen put on a great show for the reception. I laughed until I cried. How did that come about?

Stephen Stagliano: Hahahaha! Yes they did! In my humbled and biased opinion, I believe I had the best groomsmen in the history of weddings! The dance actually came about from a high school tradition that my brother and I were involved in US Funk Mob. As the last act of  of our high school’s talent show, a group of upper-classmen performed this kind of dance for over 20 years. The group starts out wearing the same baggy track suit with everyone having specific costumes on underneath. The act opens with a group dance, but two or three members duck out in the middle to change in to their costumes. When the music changes, the two come back out to perform their dance (typically always something funny…ballerinas, Mario bros, tap dance etc.) while the rest of the group does something small together in the background. Then the two join back in with the group for another group dance and two more shuffle out to go change and start the process again.  For years it blew the roof off every night so Michael and I decided to incorporate it in my wedding….mind bomb…BOOM.

MrF: Here is the video, folks. Remember this was a surprise to everyone, including the amazing folks at Imagique Weddings.

Ok Stephen, ready for the lightning round? How many seasons of the Bachelor/Bachelorette have you actually watched?

SS: I have watched Jillian’s (obviously), Jake’s, Allie’s, Brad’s, and Ashely’s and night one of DeAnna’s season. I also watched two of her hometown dates to see what we were into for Michael’s hometown on Jill’s season.

So I have seen 5-3/10ths of the Bachelor/Bachelorette!

MrF: Your favorite DeAnna look: red carpet or grungy sweats/t-shirt?

SS: Oh man, I honestly think she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Yes she cleans up well for the red carpet, but I have to go with the sweats and t-shirt when we are alone together in our apartment.

MrF: Worst meal DeAnna has cooked?

SS: I honestly can’t think of one. She is a really good cook!

MrF: Which Pappas family member you would chose for a cross country road trip?

SS: T-Pap for sure…her older brother Thomas.

MrF: Secret male Bachelorette contestant crush.

SS: Graham Bunn…I know, I know

MrF: Secret female Bachelor contestants crush?

SS: DeAnna Pappas…

MrF: Ok, Mr Politically Correct, BESIDES DeAnna who is your favorite female contestant or Bachelorette?

SS: Okay, okay…I honestly really liked Jillian. She fit right in with our family and her and Michael really did seem to have something. I hope there is still something there between those two!

MrF: Your three favorite movies?

SS: The Matrix, Saving Private Ryan, Tommy Boy

MrF: Have you ever considered being on the Wipe Out TV show? You would be awesome.

SS: OMG…everyday! I would LOVE To be on Wipeout and/or Ninja Warrior. Let’s face it, they are the same show…

MrF: I understand you and your brother design board games. What was your favorite one?

SS: We do! Super nerdy, but very fun! My favorite game is called Spritual Warfare. The concept actually came from a series at our church about the supernatural that was awesome! It has a very unique game mechanic that combines elements from D&D, Ticket to Ride, and Settlers of Catan. We have prototyped the game and are hoping to have it published soon.

Ok, one for you Mr. Frostings!  How many seasons of the Bachelor/ette have you watched?

MrF: I have watched every single season of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, plus both seasons of Bachelor Pad. I guess its safe to say, I’m a fan.

When the first season started, I was going through a painful divorce and needed to see the romance and that love could work. It turns out that the show has not produced many successes with the final two. But, it’s the POSSIBILITY of finding true love that keeps me coming back. The show has changed since people have learned that it might be a stepping-stone to some sort of entertainment career. But, I think the casting is clever and the show does know what works. Every season is filled with great characters. The dream may have died, but the train wreck continues!

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I want to thank Stephen for taking the time to hang out with me and talk about his life, love and marriage. Thanks also to the amazing Brian Callaway at Callaway Gable for his beautiful photos and Daniel Boswell at Imagique for his awesome video. Special thanks to DeAnna Pappas Stagliano for sharing her husband with me for a short time!

Stephen Stagliano is quite a guy. If you’re not convinced, ask around. His former students in Santa Clarita, CA will tell you. So will his brother, Michael Stagliano. Michael was last season’s co-winner of Bachelor Pad and suitor of Jillian Harris on The Bachelorette. More importantly to Stephen, he is his twin, his best friend and was the best man at his wedding. Michael gave, what was in my opinion, the best wedding speech I have ever heard.  If that speech was exaggerated, then Stephen has me fooled. Humble, straightforward and sincere, Stephen is exactly what he appears to be.

So, what could possibly draw this church going, unassuming man to the red carpet? Enter DeAnna Pappas.

DeAnna chased reluctant Bachelor, Brad Womack, all the way to the finale of The Bachelor, season 11, then was famously named The Bachelorette on The Ellen Show. When DeAnna’s final choice turned out to be more of a frog than a Prince, her journey brought her to the arms of our hero.

Married October 22nd 2011, DeAnna and Stephen have set out to prove that two very normal people can build a traditional and loving marriage in Hollywood…. and dance their butts off while doing it.

Mr. Frostings: Being married is the natural result of getting married. Sounds like a no-brainer, but waking up married is still quite a shock to the system for many grooms. When did it hit you that all this wedding business was really just the beginning?

Stephen Stagliano: First of all, thank you for the kind words, Earl. That was a wonderful recap of my life these past few years. I was certainly happy to have you and Mrs. Frostings as part of that journey. I agree, Michael’s best man speech was one of the best I had ever heard and one of the happiest moments of my life…. next to marrying DeAnna of course.

Before answering your question I want to say “I LOVE being married”. I find that many cliché’s are true, the most important of which is that I feel complete having committed myself to the woman of my dreams. To answer your question directly, I realized that the wedding was just the beginning on our way TO the honeymoon…it’s a bit of a funny story.

When we arrived at the airport at 7:30am we went to the Delta check in counter for our 10am flight to Belize. When we ran my passport it did not scan correctly. Several years ago while back packing through Thailand it was damaged in a severe rainstorm (that is another good story). About 3 months prior to our airport check in DeAnna told me that I should get a new one. I reassured her that it would be fine as I had traveled several times with the same passport internationally, and the airlines would just type in the number off my passport once it did not scan. This was NOT the case at Delta as two months prior to our flight Delta changed their passport policy to no longer accept damaged passports of ANY kind….ooohh *&$%.

We joke around about it now, saying that DeAnna almost filed for divorce on the first day of our marriage, hahaha, but at the time it was awful.  In hindsight it ended up being a blessing in disguise. We went back to Serenbe and had a wonderful time with our family and friends, where we were able to unwind and reminisce about all of the happenings of our wedding. I was also very sick and was able to get to a wellness clinic the same day I got a new passport. In addition, Hurricane Rina was barreling towards the Belizean coast and we would have been in danger had we made it there when we were planned to arrive.

What a wonderful example of real marriage that we were given, literally on the first day of our lives together. I dare say our vows were put to the test, hahaha. I do not think I have ever seen DeAnna so mad, but everything worked out beautifully and we ended up having a safe, healthy, and un-belizable honeymoon.

My questions to you, Mr. Frostings, is how long did it take you to settle in to your marriage with Leslie? By comparison, things are still fresh and new and fun for DeAnna and I right now, so I am wondering how long that lasts.

MrF: Next to falling asleep on your honeymoon, messing with a bride’s much-needed rest after a wedding is grounds for divorce!

Good groom question, by the way. Leslie and I are very lucky. We are both very affectionate, both very PDA, and both slow to anger. Since this is a second marriage for both of us, we appreciate what we have found together. I never leave the house without kissing her goodbye.  She calls my office when she wakes up. To answer your question directly, I believe that the love doesn’t fade over time, just our willingness to live it. I try to remember that love is an action. As long as I’m willing to live in our marriage, live in the love I feel for her, she will always feel it.

Your wedding process was a little different than most. Dealing with the press, sneaky little paparazzi, and demands of the Bachelor Family had to be difficult. Looking back, what was the most stressful part of the planning process?

SS: Wow, I love what you said. Love is an action. I am going to steal that if you don’t mind! I need to read the book you should write on love and marriage, hahaha.

Our wedding process was a little out of the ordinary. It was strange how some expected stress was removed and problems appeared where we least expected them! A perfect example of this is our experience with you, Earl! Once we met with you and Leslie we knew we had nothing at all to worry about, which was so nice. Thanks to your recommendations, we had vendors reach out to us for photography, video, our flowers, and creating our invitations and other paper goods, which was wonderful. It turned out that all our vendors were wonderful! I think an added stress of wedding planning is simply choosing which vendors you are going to go with. We skipped right past that step by having an amazing wedding vendor (Fantasy Frostings) take care of us.

Ironically enough, it was the press that added on unexpected stress.  Several things stand out. I remember DeAnna and I could not “release” our engagement because at the time we were under contract with a production company to shoot a reality show with DeAnna, Michael, Holly and I called “Four Better or Worse.” That was really hard on us. DeAnna could not wear her ring out and we could only tell close family about our engagement.

Press was also a bit of an issue as we were not sure who to go with and what the best avenue would be. The Bachelor Family wanted to cover the wedding, but they were right in the middle of filming the next season with Ben so several of our friends from the show could not come.

The pinnacle of stress for our wedding with press was on the wedding day. We had discussed having security at our wedding, but never did I think paparazzi would come all the way to Atlanta and all the way to Serenbe for the photos. Low and behold four different guys showed up! To answer your question, this was the most stressful part for me. DeAnna was really upset and I was very angry. I actually sent my groomsmen out on Paparazzi Police Patrol to canvas the area!  The actual police came a few minutes later and found two other guys in the woods around our venue, but one still managed to elude them and get away with a few photos.  Crazy.

As I write this, I can’t help but realize that none of what I talked about was stress from wedding planning, but rather about the press. Hahaha. DeAnna and I ran in to a few stressors that are typical, like the wedding list and seating chart, but that is all. DeAnna did an unbelievable job and handled everything beautifully.

Earl, I had the privilege of being a guest at your wedding to Leslie and it was honestly one of my most favorite weddings. Not that this is a point of comparison, but I thought it would be an interesting point of conversation that where DeAnna and I chose to do the full on southern wedding extravaganza, you and Leslie had a simple back yard barbecue wedding. Both were wonderful. It calls into question, from the guy’s perspective, what are the common denominators to having a great wedding? I will let you answer first

MrF: The mythical “Great Wedding”, huh? You’ll have better luck finding The Great Pumpkin. A great wedding can only be found in hindsight. Today’s couples are unique in their own special ways. Our wedding was perfect for us. A backyard BBQ with friends and family was our perfect day.  Your wedding was all about family and friends too, but it also visualized you two as a couple perfectly. The key to making a great wedding for any couple is a great wedding planner. It needs to be someone you trust and someone with the empathy to feel your vision and the skill to make it a reality. I preach this to brides at every opportunity. If you want to enjoy your wedding day, there is no better investment.

Now that you are almost a wedding expert, what advice will you give your brother Michael when he begins to plan his big day?

SS: Oh man, that is a loaded question! I think my first piece of advice would be something for him to say to his wife… “What can I do to help?”

DeAnna loved when I offered to help. The reality is that the woman takes care of most of the preparations.  I was very involved in the seating chart (good for the man to do) and the DJ play list (great for a man to do). All other things I just offered to help when I could or offered my opinion/advice when it was welcomed and/or wanted.

The other piece of advice that I would offer to my brother is that he needs to be the rock and foundation of the whole production. I found myself saying things like “Everything is going to be fine.” “Everything is going to be beautiful and perfect.” “Everything will work out.” I think it is very easy for the brides to get caught in the trees and lose sight of the forest sometimes. It can be very beneficial for the groom to be calm, assertive, and have faith that everything will work out just fine.

Oh and one last thing…the bride is always right!

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I can’t think of a more appropriate place to leave part 1 than at “the bride is always right.” Give that statement a night to sink in and then come back tomorrow morning for the epic conclusion of Going Stag. Not that you should need any extra coaxing to do that, but we’ll be featuring video of Stephen and his groomsmen dancing at the reception. So, no excuses!

Are you man of the house?

One of the biggest steps taken by new grooms as they enter into married life is that most of them truly become the “man of the house” for the first time ever. This isn’t always the case, of course, depending on how each groom has grown up. However, for the most part, newly married men face the situation of being the strongest male presence in a home for the first time, and many quickly realize that this position in a home comes with many responsibilities, not all of which come naturally or are easily fulfilled. Particularly if there are only two people in the house, there is a great deal that is expected of the man in helping to maintain the house and yard, fix problems, etc.

Some grooms begin to fully realize the extent to which they will soon be responsible for household activities at their weddings as they begin to receive all kinds of gifts geared toward domestic improvement – tool kits, outdoor appliances, tools for making and maintaining the bar, etc. Just as new couples receive kitchen equipment, and things of that nature, following their weddings, there are also certain materials that require more setup and application, and much of this tends to fall to the man. Following this is many grooms’ secret fear: that they won’t be able to do the things expected of them due to a lack of experience! After all, it is not simply in a man’s DNA to be good with tools….

One solution to this problem can be reached, if you are having trouble, simply by upgrading Direct tv packages. With more expansive television packages, you can gain access to multiple channels that cover do-it-yourself activities and instructions; in fact, you may even gain access to channels that specifically cover home improvement. With the help of such channels and shows, you can quickly learn to apply some of the tools and practices that will fall to you.

It is important to remember, as you become man of the house, that not everything comes naturally. It is normal to feel the need to figure things out for yourself, as you want to appear responsible and capable. However, in the interest of perfecting activities and practices for the future, as well as keeping your house in top shape, there is no shame in exploring assistance for some of the more difficult or unfamiliar household activities. Before long, you’ll be proud of the role you’ve embraced.

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In what ways have you become or do you plan on becoming “man of the house” after the wedding? Tell us in the comments section below.

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