"Thanks for the serving bowl!"

By Guest Blogger: OneWed.com

You want to be polite. You want to write your thank you note in a timely manner, but the fact is that after the fifth serving bowl, you’re kind of out of personal ways to say thanks.

Here are some quick tips for writing a good thank you note:

1.    Keep a list of the gifts – No really, there are people who don’t know that you need to write down every gift and its giver in one place, then cross them off after you’ve written the note.

2.    Space them out – Do a few thank you notes each day, and you won’t get writer’s block and the task won’t take over your life.

3.    Start early – Don’t wait until after the wedding. If you get a gift now, say thanks now.

4.    Buy stamps and return address labels – Not being able to mail the notes right away will just make the task seem bigger.

As to the note itself, keep it short and simple. Mention the gift, mention how happy you are the giver came to the wedding (or sad that they couldn’t make it), mention how much it means to you that they thought enough of you to give you a gift. If the gift is cash call it “your generous gift” and consider mentioning something you might put the cash towards.

Sound good? You’re welcome!

With so many wedding expenses, it’s easy to forget about tipping your wedding vendors on the big day. While it isn’t necessary to tip all of your vendors, some will definitely appreciate — and expect — it. A wedding planner, if you’re using one, best man or family member typically handles doling out gratuities.

First, make sure to check your contracts. Oftentimes, gratuity may already be included for some services, such as your caterer’s wait staff or limousine driver. But if not, tipping is a nice gesture, especially for those vendors who exceed your expectations or do an outstanding job. At the bare minimum, thank you-notes are always appreciated.

Remember, every couple is different and some can tip more than others. Here’s a quick cheat sheet based on averages we calculated after talking to grooms, brides and vendors:

Ceremony Musicians – if you’ve hired an orchestra, band or vocalists for the ceremony, $15-$20 per musician is customary. (Note that you don’t need to tip the solo organist at the church.)

DJs or Bands – $20-$25 for musicians/individual band members; $25-$50 for DJs.

Officiant – while it isn’t necessary to tip your officiant, a separate donation to the religious institution is a standard gesture.

Wedding Planners, Photographers, Videographers – tipping isn’t necessary for vendors who own their own businesses. But for those who go above and beyond, we highly recommend a 10% tip. If your budget doesn’t allow for that, providing professional photographs displaying the vendor’s handiwork is a solid gesture.

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Grooms and brides: do your vendor contracts have tips built in? Have you and your fiance talked about vendor gratuity? Let us know in the comments section below.  Vendors: we’d love to hear your thoughts on the topic as well.

Does the word “mother-in-law” send shivers down your spine?

Do you feel like she’s a snake in the grass waiting to catch you slipping up?

If you answered yes to the questions above, don’t worry; it’s very common for grooms to fear the mother of the bride. These fears probably revolve around the assumption that since you’re “stealing” her daughter away, mom is going to be out to get you. The truth is that she’s not “out to get you,” but rather she’s watching closely to make sure that you’re going to be a great husband and treat her daughter the way she deserves to be treated…

For the rest of the post, visit our blogging partners over at MyWedding.com.

I was talking with my buddy Dave from Temple of Groom the other day about his upcoming wedding. He seemed exhausted and mentioned how stressful the last few months of wedding planning had been for him and his fiance. This is not a huge surprise as most of you know how much of a drain the last few months before the wedding can be. He made the comment that the stress was going to drive him to alcoholism or worse. I thought he was kidding and then I saw that crazy look in his eye. This dude was serious!

The conversation got me to thinking. Can you rank wedding planning stress levels through which vice the stress is driving you to? In national security terms, what would a code red be?

Here’s my attempt along with a few tips on coping with stress:

Code Can I get a Light?

Sample stress – The venue we want for the reception was just booked yesterday.

Stress can cause former smokers to pick up the habit again. And once you pick that up it’s quite hard to drop it. If you feel like this could be you, do yourself a favor and pick up one of those fancy electronic cigarettes.

Code Man v. Food

Sample stress – You’ve found the one date that works for you, your bride and your families when you discover that your best friend has scheduled his wedding for the same day.

Food is comforting. Hence the phrase ‘comfort food.’ However, high stress levels can often drive you to binge on unhealthy foods – and we don’t need Morgan Spurlock here to remind us that fast food is killing us one Value Meal at a time. One suggestion is to schedule a once-per-week date night with your fiance where you cook a homemade, healthy meal that’s not going to pile on the pounds before the big day.

Code Scotch

Sample stress – Three months out from the wedding, your honeymoon resort informs you that due to a computer error, your reservation has been canceled and you’re now on a “waiting list” for a room.

I love scotch. Scotchy Scotch. Scotch. Here it goes, down into my belly. Whether it’s scotch, or the liquor of your choice, a nice, stiff drink can taste so good after a hard day at work. But I don’t have to be a rocket scientist to tell you that one of the leading causes of alcoholism is stress. I actually do recommend drinking in moderation while planning the wedding (it’ll help you be more creative), just don’t let booze be a crutch that gets you through the process.

Code Double Down

Sample stress – The Best Man hasn’t been measured for his tux yet and the cut-off date just passed yesterday. It’s 50/50 whether he’ll be able to find an alternate tux elsewhere.

I just returned from a trip to Vegas and as always saw some sad characters at the blackjack table. I always ask myself what could be driving these people to gamble their life away. Is it that hard to turn and face your problems head on?  When planning a wedding, always keep in mind that this is the happiest time of your life. Stress is part of it, but you can’t let it beat you. Face it, accept it and move on. So what if your Best Man’s tux is going to be a shade darker than yours… it could be A LOT worse. You could be the guy at the blackjack table.

Code Green

Sample stress – Your caterer informs you three days before the wedding that they’re going out of business. You won’t be getting your deposit back.

Yes, I’ve actually heard of couples toking it up to cope with the stresses of wedding planning. I myself don’t partake in the giggle smoke, but from what I understand it can be quite relaxing. However, I just can’t quite wrap my mine around experimenting with it while planning your wedding – that’s what college was for.

Code Gibson

Sample stress – You wake up on the wedding day to discover a note from your bride telling you she’s run away with her ex.

I’m not going to comment much on what specifically comes after ‘Code Gibson.’ I’ll just say that I hope you’ve got a good lawyer.

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Disclosure – With two weeks before the wedding, Temple of Groom Dave is not an alcoholic or drug addict, nor is he broke from gambling away his life savings…. yet.

What code are you on? Have you turned from an occasional drinker into a binge drinker? Have you become a full fledged drug addict? Let us know in the comments section below.

There are so many overplayed wedding songs out there. It’s always nice to hear a fresh first dance song that hasn’t been driven into the ground. We think this new one by Train has a chance to become very popular.

Thoughts? Let us know in the comments section below.