I HATE when ninjas ruin weddings!

By Guest Blogger OneWed.com

As a groom, you’re spared a lot of weird wedding news. But over on the bridal side of things we get exposed to all sorts of wacky ideas. For example, I recently heard about women injecting Botox into their underarms to prevent themselves from sweating on their wedding day.

Let’s break that down. There are women so obsessed with having a “perfect wedding day” that they are willing to inject a toxin into their underarms to prevent a perfectly natural bodily function that actually keeps them healthy.

I can almost guarantee you that almost NO ONE starts off their wedding planning thinking it’ll result in a painful injection, but the more you read and plan, the more the idea of “perfect” takes hold. That’s why it’s your job as the groom, as the guy less exposed to this sort of nonsense to keep a close eye on the quest for perfection.

If your bride says something is “perfect,” feel free to agree with her. However, if she starts rejecting things as “not perfect” gently remind her that as long as the two of you get married, it will be perfect. Don’t belittle her quest for a fabulous, wonderful experience, just keep an eye on the “perfect talk.”

Did you hear about the couple that raised $3,800 for their wedding by collecting empty aluminum cans? Spokane, WA residents Peter Geyer and Andrea Parrish needed approximately 400,000 empty cans to meet their goal (which they met with a little help from donations by Alcoa and United Recycling Co.).

Peter Geyer and Amanda Parrish collected $3,800 worth of empty cans to help fund their wedding.

This got us to thinking. How many cans would it take to pay for an elaborate celebrity wedding? If you break down the value of each single can from the Spokane wedding, it comes in at just under a penny (.0095 cents to be exact). We checked ‘The 20 Most Expensive Celebrity Weddings’ and determined how many cans would have been needed to be saved to pay for the top weddings on the list.

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Anniston – $1 Million Wedding – 105,263,158 cans

Madonna & Guy Ritchie –$1.5 Million Wedding – 157,894,736 cans

Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes – $2 Million Wedding – 210,526,315 cans

Paul McCartney & Heather Mills – $3 Million Wedding – 315,789,473 cans

Liza Minnelli & David Gest – $3.5 Million Wedding – 368,421,052 cans

Think that’s a lot cans? That’s nothing! The world’s most expensive wedding ever was held for Vanisha Mittal (daughter of European steel tycoon Laxmi Mittal) and her fiancé Amit Bhatia in 2004. The tab came to approximately $60 Million USD!

That equates to 6,315,789,473 cans! That’s right – over 6 billion cans.
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What creative methods are you using to raise money for the wedding? We want to hear from you in the comments below!

Our friends over at The Frisky recently posted about a scary scary development in bridal wear: diapers. Yes, diapers. Like babies wear.

Are you freakin’ kidding me? Diapers for brides? This is genuinely disturbing. Apparently bridal shops have been telling brides about this “trend” for years. I wonder how my wife and I missed out on this during our wedding planning months. Oh yea, I remember, we are grown-ups and don’t wear diapers.

Whatever happened to the good ‘ol days of the Maid of Honor holding up the bride’s dress while she pees? I mean, if that’s off the table, what is the point of even having bridesmaids?

Look, we get it. It’s tough to pee while you’re in a giant puffy dress. But, trust me, you’re going to creep the hell out of the groom if he knows you’re wearing a diaper (possibly full of you know what) while saying your vows. And we’re pretty sure it’s going to creep you out in five years when you’re looking at your wedding album and knowing that under that beautiful gown, you’re wearing a DIAPER.

That’s all. Thanks for reading.

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If you’re a bride that wore a diaper on her wedding day, comment below and tell us about it. We welcome all thoughts on why this isn’t as sick as it sounds.

The Safeco Field Bullpen will host its first wedding today.

So far this season, the Seattle Mariners’ bullpen has been known for bad pitching. Today, it will take center stage for a different reason – Mariners’ bullpen catcher Jason Phillips will marry his fiance in the Safeco Field bullpen.

Here’s an idea of just how good baseball players have it: Phillips is the Mariners’ bullpen catcher. He is not on the team. He simply warms up the relief pitchers before they come into the game. For his services, he is paid an $80,000 annual salary. During a game against Oakland A’s back in 2009, his soon-to-be-bride, Molly Ray, was sitting in the stands near the bullpen. Phillips signed a baseball, put his phone number on it and tossed it to her. Twelve months later, they’re getting married.