Expert Forum: Joint Bachelor(ette) Parties?
Bachelor and bachelorette parties are known as rites of passage for grooms and brides. These “last nights out” offer a great opportunity to have one last bash with close friends before walking down the aisle. While typically thought of as guys’ and girls’ nights only, a growing trend has couples bucking the norm and planning joint parties
We pulled together some of our favorite wedding experts to see if this concept passes the sniff test.
More and more couples are choosing to do a coed bachelor(ette) party. How do you feel about this trend? Should the groom and bride have separate “last nights out” or are you on board with the idea of joint parties?
Chris Easter (Co-Founder, TheManRegistry.com)
Twitter: @chriseaster
With couples getting married at old ages, it doesn’t surprise me to see this trend growing. I think it’s all about personal preference and lifestyle. If the couple has put their hard partying days behind them, I don’t see anything wrong with a night or weekend outing with their closest friends to celebrate the end of single life. Remember, there’s no official rule book for these types of parties. To each their own.
Ian (Author, A Groom’s Diary)
Twitter: @agroomsdiary
Grooms: If your wife-to-be demands this idea, run. Now.
Brides: If your husband-to-be accepts this idea, run. Now.
She’s a psycho or he’s a pushover. No exceptions.
This idea might be the only wedding trend worse than the unity candle.
(I’d write more but I’ve got to get ready for my buddy’s bachelor party tonight. We’re going to make him drink three pints of generic brand vodka, force him to gamble his nest-egg and then take pictures of strippers dancing over his lifeless corpse, just like he always dreamed we would.) (And his marriage will be better for it.)
Kara Horner (Blogger & Media Director, TheManRegistry.com)
Twitter: @TMR_Kara
While it may be tempting to for a tight-knit group of friends to have a co-ed bachelor(ette) party, I think it’s important for both the bride and groom to schedule some quality girls-only and guys-only time before the big day arrives. It can be a great opportunity to bond with your bridesmaids and groomsmen before the wedding, especially if you don’t often have the chance to get the whole group together due to busy schedules or family life or being spread out across the country. Once you’re a married couple, you’ll likely go out with friends together the majority of the time, so it’s nice to maintain a few separate interests and hang out individually with the guys or girls every now and then.
James Bennett (Founder, Firefly Bachelor Party Planning)
Twitter: @firefly_events
As Bachelor and Bachelorette party planners we don’t think that joint parties are a matter of ‘should’. The Co-ed party isn’t going to be a great idea for every couple. But it can be every bit as fun as the individually celebrated parties. However, our recommendation is to always take elements from both scenarios. Plan an activity for the boys and girls separately the meet up and do something as a large group. You’re still celebrating your friendship and placing focus on the bride or groom individually. But allowing for large group antics. The ultimate goal of a bachelor/ette party is to celebrate the huge step your friend is taking in the manner that fits your friend.
Darren Younge (Founder, Well-Groomed)
Twitter: @wellgrmd
I don’t have a problem with co-ed bachelor(ette) parties, especially if the couple genuinely gets along with each others friends. You’ll have to mix and mingle for the rest of your lives, might as well start now. Besides, who doesn’t love one big party? If you do decide to go your separate ways for your party, skip the stripper/bar/casino scene, which will only lead to trouble. Just ask A. C. Slater and that Doritos girl. Instead, take a road trip to do some outdoorsy, sporty guy thing or have a golf weekend. It really doesn’t matter what you and the guys do, as long as you don’t find yourself with some strange girl’s panties on your head at the end of the night.
Shulie Lo (Social Maven, Robbins Brothers)
Twitter: @RobbinsBrothers
No. No. No. Nope. Not going to happen. The bachelor(ette) party is the last time that you can bond with your friends. The last hurrah. You have the rest of your married life with your husband to look forward to, so why not go out with a bang with your best friends? Your entourage. It’s not about not trusting your significant other with strippers (which should be a red flag), but more about bonding with the girls (or guys) that have been with you every step of the way. Even if you have a lot of mutual friends that would love to celebrate together, you may have some friends that want to participate in some sisterly bonding. If you feel that you must have a joined party and celebrate together, you could always throw a third event. Perhaps a low-key “We’re Getting Married!” party.
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What’s your take on joint bachelor(ette) parties? Post a comment below with your thoughts.
Tags: Chris Easter, Kara Horner
March 7th, 2013 at 10:58 pm
Doesn’t surprise me at all that this is a trend. I considered it when my wife and I were married in 2009.
March 9th, 2013 at 7:40 pm
Everyone loves a good drunk party! I wish I could be a fly on the wall for so many pre wedding parties.
March 20th, 2013 at 9:40 am
I think a coed bachelor party is an awesome concept. I feel that this could create bonding friendships among both genders as well as create memories that are true to the bond and helps promote togetherness. Don’t get me wrong I think it is important to have time with the girls or boys on their own but I still think this would be a much better way to prepare to ring in your new marriage.
March 20th, 2013 at 9:43 am
While I do see how some later in life marriages might truly enjoy a joint bachelor-bachelorette party, my instinct is to say no this new trend. I believe it’s healthy for girls to be girls and guys to be guys. As long as parameters are set ahead of time by the couple, this ‘right to passage’ is normal and should be a fun filled night. Girls want to talk ‘girl talk,’ and guys speak openly amongst themselves. Normally, us, women don’t want to hear it frankly. Why take away something that both the bride and groom have been looking forward to? Sometimes, the friends are more excited about it than the actual couple, but either way, I believe independent nights with set parameters will ultimately reduce fighting over alcohol induced lapses of stupidity that most likely will occur. Come on, ladies, you don’t want to see that, do you?
March 23rd, 2013 at 9:50 pm
It depends on your age.