Saran Wrap & Other Summer Trends
By Brian Leahy, Founder of The Groom Says
Grooms: I’m pleased to report that Lover.ly has done our homework for us. Lover.ly (in case you don’t know, and you should be ashamed of yourself) is a “visual inspiration engine and cloud scrapbook” built around wedding images, and its editors have observed and revealed three smoking hot wedding trends for the summer months. So thank you to the ladies at Lover.ly, cause god knows we weren’t going to get around to it, what with all the spring crochet projects we’re wrapping up.
1. Aqua & Peach – a loverly summery color combo; also a delicious brunch time cocktail
2. Burlap & Lace – a loverly summery textile combo; also a delicious and borderline pornographic parody of Bonnie & Clyde
3. Equestrian Elegance – simply put, “humans wedding horses” (see below)
That horse talk got me all haute and bothered—so I set aside the basket I’m weaving long enough to do some research and present the other five smoldering summer wedding trends that got lost in the Lover.ly clouds.
4. AstroTurf & Stubble – Inspired by high school football, this sizzling color palette is popping up on every summer bride’s Pinterest board: synthetic green blended with the ruddy-blonde hue of a one-day-old beard. Whether you’re in a meadow in Wyoming or on a rooftop in Manhattan, peach fuzz petals strewn over artificial grass aisle runners are bound to make a splash.
5. Beehive Bliss – Birdcages are out—beehives are in! You can repurpose small hollowed hives as escort cards… or suspend live, populated hives from the ceiling and release them (doves are so 2009) at the end of the reception. Nothing clears a room of drunken in-laws like a swarm of bees—and chances are they won’t be pestering you about brunch in the morning.
6. Cow Pie Perfection – Anyone can rent out a barn, or stack hay bales, or tie twigs and berries with twine; but a real outdoorsy summer wedding takes it to the next level with cow pie centerpieces, a fungicide-infused specialty cocktail, a mechanical bull, and a full-service lactating station behind the dessert bar. (“I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?”)
7. Chain Mail & Saran Wrap – Grooms everywhere are going to crap themselves when they see this traditional texture duo restored for the summer season. Nothing screams “Renaissance Fair leftovers” like this classic mesh of adhesive plastic and stab-resistant armour.
8. Canine Chic – A dog is a man’s best friend? Prove it. Perfect for domesticated, monogamous breeds and states that permit interspecies marriage (you know who you are), zoophilia is the new taboo turned trend for 2012. So stop waiting for Mrs. Right and start looking for the right Norwich Terrier. … And you may want to rethink the AstroTurf aisle runner, or you’ll be stepping into more than marriage during the recessional.
Brian Leahy is a writer, actor and founder of The Groom Says blog — a safe haven for grooms who need a hand with wedding planning and brides who need a hand with their grooms. The Groom Says may be on a permanent hiatus, but the archives live on. Be sure to follow Brian on Twitter.