Dilemma: The Groom Wants a Touch of Casual. The Bride Does Not.
our friends over at marriage.com have recently launched a fantastic new version of their site where brides and grooms can ask wedding questions and receive advice from a community of experts. today we’re sampling one of their hot topics pertaining to casual weddings. check out selected responses below from a bride and groom’s point-of-view.
Women spend days, months, and even years thinking about the details of the Big Day, and when it comes to what they’re wearing, most know exactly what they want—from head to toe (down to the color of their nail polish—yup, we’re not even kidding here!) With so much pressure to create the perfect ceremony, reception, and wedding extravaganza experience, chances are that she may have already picked out an outfit for you and the rest of your crew for the big day. From cummerbunds, cufflinks, ties, and bows, some grooms live for all the impressive wedding gear. But what if you don’t want to look like a penguin in a three-piece suit, or you’re just not a very traditional guy? What if you don’t want to follow in the footsteps of traditional weddings—literally—and want to wear sneakers? We got that very question (regarding the sneaker + wedding combo) from grooms AND brides, and went to our Marriage.com forums to see how engaged couples, expert wedding professionals and married couples were responding:
From a bride’s POV:
One concerned bride wrote “So my fiancée wants to wear casual shoes to the wedding, and I’d much rather him wear proper, formal shoes, but he claims this is the only thing he gets to decide! I think he should really wear nice shoes—but should I just let this go?” Surprisingly enough, most female responses were overwhelmingly in support of casual shoes for the groom-to-be. One user, Chaundra M., mentioned that the original poster should keep her fiancé’s comfort in mind—“I’ve heard dress shoes can be really, really uncomfortable,” she wrote. “You don’t want him to be limping on the dance floor. I totally can understand why he wouldn’t want to wear dress shoes for that reason. Have you tried asking him if that’s maybe the reason why he’s not too keen on formal shoes? Find out the reason WHY he’s so averse to the formal shoes!” Other users responded with “Either way, heels are just as uncomfortable! Can’t you guys come up with some way to compromise? Maybe he can wear some nicer-looking casual shoes he already owns,” and “Hey, it’s HIS day too! Sneakers aren’t as bad as you think! Just make sure they’re clean…”
We agree with our female users—comfort and compromise go a long way. If all else fails, you and your bride-to-be could always just buy a new pair of nicer-looking casual shoes for your wedding day—(think clean, uncomplicated for a formal venue or something more bright and flashy if you two plan to showcase your bold personalities throughout the day). There are tons of comfortable shoes out there which are dark-colored, stylish, and more trendy and hip (suitable for wear more than once) rather than stuffy and boring. Looking with your fiancée online or in even in stores will create tons of possibilities. Helpful hint? Try asking the shoe salesperson for some alternatives, and let him/her know exactly what you’re looking for. The new trend for formal shoes is comfort, and the new trend for casual shoes is style—both are here to stay.
From the groom’s POV:
Grooms-to-be and wedding professionals also agreed with our casual-shoe-loving-groom. One user, James B., brought up that casual shoes are actually the trend: “…If you search around you’ll come across a lot of weddings where the groom went casual on the shoes. It’s definitely not “out there”. I’ve seen many instances where they bought Converse to match the wedding colors, etc.” James B. brings up an awesome point. If she’s not comfortable with one of your regular pair of shoes, consider the popular option of the ever-classic sneaker in one of your wedding colors—your honey may be more comfortable with color-coordination than you think. Besides, clever, personality-filled details (such as these green custom-colored Converse which the grooms AND groomsmen wore at this gorgeous destination wedding in Mexico) are cute, unique, AND memorable. Cool way to add a pop of color and a twist of personality, right? Your bride probably already knows this, but tons of wedding blogs are featuring weddings where groomsmen were a little casual, all in the name of fun. Besides, why not wear something you feel good and look good in? As James B. put it, “Remember, it’s his wedding too and if he’s attached to the idea – at least he’s involved. =)” We agree!
In the end, we think it’s all about making your day about the TWO of you—even though the bride-to-be may have had a heavier hand in planning and coordinating all of the wedding, no one wants a grumpy groom. So hop to it: compromise, and look forward to walking down the aisle in your own style.
Thanks to all of the wedding experts and engaged couples at the Marriage.com forum for your ideas and advice! Want to see what people are saying about this topic? Check out the conversation here and let us know your opinions in the comments section below!