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25 Things I’d Rather Do With $2 Than Buy Kellie Pickler’s Wedding Video

I’m no Kellie Pickler hater. No, I’m not a fan of her music … but I also have nothing against the American Idol contestant turned musician or her new songwriter hubby Kyle Jacobs. I’m genuinely happy for the newlyweds.

But I learned last week that Pickler (actually, her husband) is selling their 3-minute wedding “music video” on Jacobs’ underpopulated iTunes page for the price of $1.99 … the cost of the Roman Catholic Confession app … the cost of a single issue of Jet magazine. And I can’t quite figure out the logic. The couple didn’t want to post it on Pickler’s website as a gift to her fans? Or if exposure is what she’s looking for, she could have pulled a Katy Perry and projected it onto the giant cloth behind her at an awards show that’s seen by millions of people. Instead, it appears the couple is recouping their wedding costs, $1.99 at a time.

kellie pickler wedding

Give me your money!

We could have bought the video to see if it was a worthwhile purchase, to give it an honest critique, to see what the 33 five-star reviewers are raving about. Instead, we chose to preview the video for free and then compile this list of 25 things we would rather do with $2 than download their wedding footage.

Here goes:

1.  Rent bowling shoes
2.  Feed a stranger’s parking meter
3.  Raid a garage sale for puzzles and used undies
4.  Tip a bathroom attendant
5.  Overpay an electric bill
6.  Order a Dutch Apple Pie and a side of onion rings off the BK Value Menu
7.  Go through the same toll twice
8.  Misplace it in the couch
9.  Get buzzed on three cans of Simpler Times
10.  Land on Mediterranean Avenue (undeveloped, of course)
11.  Make 200 wishes
12.  Add double the avocado to a foot-long Subway sandwich
13.  Donate it to public radio
14.  Return a library book eight days too late
15.  Blow it on nickel slots
16.  Copy a house key
17.  Get a bottle of Starbucks’ Ethos water
18.  Pump half a gallon of premium gasoline
19.  Send it in with 2 proofs of purchase for a pre-ripped Hulk Hogan t-shirt
20.  Dry clean our tube socks
21.  Play 8 rounds of Street Fighter
22.  Send a 2-oz letter containing a rigid object to Fiji
23.  Upgrade to a Stuffed Crust pizza
24.  Convert it to even fewer Euro
25.  Download Bieber’s wedding video

the groom says

Brian Leahy is founder of The Groom Says — a safe haven for grooms who need a hand with wedding planning and brides who need a hand with their grooms. Check out the blog for some laughs and inspiration, and be sure to follow The Groom Says on Twitter and Google+.

Let’s get this list to 50! What would you rather do with your $2? Tell us in the comments section below.

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14 Responses to “25 Things I’d Rather Do With $2 Than Buy Kellie Pickler’s Wedding Video”

  1. lizzie Says:

    HILARIOUS post. I can’t believe they would try to recoup anything instead of giving it to her fans! I hadn’t even heard of her OR him before today. You can’t sell your wedding video when there are people who don’t know who you are. C’mon.

  2. john Says:

    It’s actually a music video, not her “wedding video.” She only appears while her husband sings his song. Jacobs is like any other atist selling his music video that he made. At least she didn’t have a lavish Nashville wedding (with $2m left over to keep) paid for by some magazine with exclusive rights, so I admire her restraint. If it was a true wedding video with all the usual features of that, then yes, I would agree, but it isn’t and it’s being misreported in the press as “her wedding video.”

  3. admin Says:

    In that case, just imagine the title is ’25 Things I’d Rather Do With $2 Than Buy Kellie Pickler’s Wedding Music Video.’ Theme of the post remains the same.

  4. Brian Says:

    Not to nitpick, John, but Kellie’s exact words on her Twitter page were: “Here’s the link to our wedding video :)

    So, yeah.

  5. jackson Says:

    And here’s the rest of the story……

    According to a local music radio station this morning, Kyle and Kellie are donating all the procedes from the video to charity.

    BTW, why even put in a comment about not being a fan of Kellie’s. Has nothing to do with the video. Just had to get in a spiteful comment, didn’t you?

  6. admin Says:

    Thanks, Paul Harvey.

  7. Brian Says:

    Jackson, I hope you don’t think I would purposefully edit that part out. I’ve looked at every news story on this issue (I even searched “Kellie Pickler wedding charity”) and heard nothing of a charitable contribution. Apparently didn’t either?

    (see: )

    Perhaps this is a new decision on their part, considering all the bad press? Either way, I’m happy. That money should be going to a good cause.

    As for my “spiteful comment” — I just wanted to point out that I was neither a lover nor a hater. I’m 100% detached from Kellie Pickler as a musician. My issue is with the video, not her.

    Good? We all good now?

  8. Mr Frostings Says:

    Brian, you are the man. This was funny, inventive, snarky (without meanness) funny, creative and inspired. Did I mention funny?
    Thanks Chris for giving this man a forum. It was so much better than hearing who was working out at his gym, or drinking at his Starbucks, via Twitter. He should really think about getting his own blog.

  9. admin Says:

    I do what I can to keep this hooligan off the streets and focused on being a #winner.

  10. Kellie & Kyle Fan Says:

    I’d rather spend $2 on Kyle’s wonderful song and video than read this free, silly blog post! :P Kellie is a big star who earns plenty of money and doesn’t need to recoup the costs of her small, modest wedding. I’ve seen the costs and it’s not that much even compared to many larger stateside weddings. I’d rather see her perform her new music at awards shows than copy what Katy Perry did.

    lizzie, Kellie is very popular country music artist. Kyle is a well-known songwriter in Nashville and many “unknown” artists sell their music and videos on iTunes.

    Since when is it a rule that proceeds from wedding videos, music videos, or songs go to charity? Kellie has done plenty of work for charity and more than most artists so this isn’t even an issue and music videos generally don’t sell much vs. songs anyway. Even the most popular selling songs don’t sell nearly as many videos.

    Brian, it’s interesting that you picked out a negative article to post. There is no “bad press” about this unless you rely on celeb gossip type sites like Starpulse where anyone can become a “contributing writer,” and since Kellie has always done plenty for many charities and 4 USO tours, she doesn’t need that kind of negative motivation to continue. What she’s already done amounts to far more value than this video will generate, and after all she’s done I could care less whether or not my $2 went to charity. I can’t stand to see anyone get admonished for not donating something to charity when they already do so much, more in a few years than most people can ever do in their lifetimes. For example with just one brief TV appearance Kellie raised $50,000 for charities. When, where and what Kyle and Kellie decide to donate is their choice, not ours. Maybe the Starpulse article writer Judy Kurtz is a Belieber. She got her start at People Magazine where they have nothing but positive articles about this video and everything Kellie does. A CMT writer got it right and said it’s about the most romantic thing she’s ever seen:

    Here are some, not all of the charities Kellie has helped:

  11. Brian Says:

    Dear K&K Fan,

    Kudos to you on setting us all straight. I have no doubt Kellie is a wonderful, charitable human being.

    Sadly, what we’ve done in these comments is wildly misunderstand each other and suck any humor out of what was really a post about “what other things cost $2.”

    Let’s all go have a drink. Please.

  12. Craig @ Cutting Edge Entertainment Says:

    Dear K&K Fan,

    Allow me to tell you something the folks at Man Registry won’t.

    You are a complete moron.

  13. LIz Coopersmith Says:

    Allow me to pick up the conversation ball again with my list of things I’d rather do with $1.99 than buy Kellie Pickler’s wedding video:
    1. Buy the pilot episode of The West Wing on itunes.
    2. Buy the hipstamatic camera iphone app
    3. Buy 7 gumballs from the machine outside of Macys at the Burbank Mall
    4. Buy 1 6-pk of automatic pencils at Staples
    5. Buy a pair of bunny ears at Target
    6. Rent Easy A and one other movie on Amazon Video on Demand this weekend
    7. Buy a mountain dew at 7-eleven
    8. Buy a bottle of clear nail polish and a 3- pack of chapstick at the 99cents store
    8.Add the penny that would be left over from #8 and give it to the next homeless person I see (Kellie should appreciate that because she’s donating the proceeds of her video to charity)
    9. Buy a bag of pretzels at Disneyland (I was surprised, too)
    10.Buy a hot dog and a coke at Costco.


  14. admin Says:

    11. Buy a six-pack of Walgreen’s brand Big Flats 1901 “Premium Brew”

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