25 Things I’d Rather Do With $2 Than Buy Kellie Pickler’s Wedding Video
I’m no Kellie Pickler hater. No, I’m not a fan of her music … but I also have nothing against the American Idol contestant turned musician or her new songwriter hubby Kyle Jacobs. I’m genuinely happy for the newlyweds.
But I learned last week that Pickler (actually, her husband) is selling their 3-minute wedding “music video” on Jacobs’ underpopulated iTunes page for the price of $1.99 … the cost of the Roman Catholic Confession app … the cost of a single issue of Jet magazine. And I can’t quite figure out the logic. The couple didn’t want to post it on Pickler’s website as a gift to her fans? Or if exposure is what she’s looking for, she could have pulled a Katy Perry and projected it onto the giant cloth behind her at an awards show that’s seen by millions of people. Instead, it appears the couple is recouping their wedding costs, $1.99 at a time.
We could have bought the video to see if it was a worthwhile purchase, to give it an honest critique, to see what the 33 five-star reviewers are raving about. Instead, we chose to preview the video for free and then compile this list of 25 things we would rather do with $2 than download their wedding footage.
1. Rent bowling shoes
2. Feed a stranger’s parking meter
3. Raid a garage sale for puzzles and used undies
4. Tip a bathroom attendant
5. Overpay an electric bill
6. Order a Dutch Apple Pie and a side of onion rings off the BK Value Menu
7. Go through the same toll twice
8. Misplace it in the couch
9. Get buzzed on three cans of Simpler Times
10. Land on Mediterranean Avenue (undeveloped, of course)
11. Make 200 wishes
12. Add double the avocado to a foot-long Subway sandwich
13. Donate it to public radio
14. Return a library book eight days too late
15. Blow it on nickel slots
16. Copy a house key
17. Get a bottle of Starbucks’ Ethos water
18. Pump half a gallon of premium gasoline
19. Send it in with 2 proofs of purchase for a pre-ripped Hulk Hogan t-shirt
20. Dry clean our tube socks
21. Play 8 rounds of Street Fighter
22. Send a 2-oz letter containing a rigid object to Fiji
23. Upgrade to a Stuffed Crust pizza
24. Convert it to even fewer Euro
25. Download Bieber’s wedding video
Brian Leahy is founder of The Groom Says — a safe haven for grooms who need a hand with wedding planning and brides who need a hand with their grooms. Check out the blog for some laughs and inspiration, and be sure to follow The Groom Says on Twitter and Google+.
Let’s get this list to 50! What would you rather do with your $2? Tell us in the comments section below.