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Nailing the [Wedding Vendor] Meeting

important wedding vendor meetingBy Guest Blogger Madman from The Groom Says

Working in the events industry in New York taught me one very important thing about grooms: we can sometimes look like total idiots.

For me (I confess) it’s football. Put me on a panel where football is the topic of conversation, and I will excuse myself to use the restroom and never be seen again. I have no clue who had a great season, who had a disastrous season, or who’s been out all season with a torn groin. I know that Brett Favre showed his manhood to a cheerleader and is retiring for the umpteenth time, but that was on TMZ for god’s sake. So when I know I’m going to be in a situation where football knowledge is expected (the Super Bowl, for instance), I do the research. I memorize the who’s who and brush up on stats and practice some unintelligible cheering.


Now most grooms out there know as much about weddings as I do about pigskin. And it’s really painfully obvious in those initial design meetings. You’re meeting with planners and coordinators and vendors and swapping ideas for the first time. And you may have that subtle head nod perfected, but at some point during that meeting, your bride will turn to you and ask, “What do you think, honey?” All eyes will be on you, and you’ll be sitting there, nodding like a damn fool.

Thankfully, grooms, I’ve done the research for you. Here are six simple steps to nailing that preliminary meeting.

1. Easy on the head nod
. You think you look engaged, interested, even borderline intellectual … but after 15 minutes you lose the rhythm, the nod slows to a bob, and the whole room is thinking you’re medicated.

2. Upgrade your palette
. Yes, everyone wants your input. No, no one wants you to pretend to be somebody you’re not. But when the caterer asks you what you imagine serving at your wedding, you could reach for something a little deeper than “deep dish.” Anything can be trendy — but not when it comes with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon.

3. Write stuff down. Women have a lobe of the brain specifically reserved for remembering the names of linens and vases and such. Since your lobe is reserved for the first names of delivery guys, feel free to take notes. Jot down what you like and what you don’t. Then you won’t struggle to come up with a phrase that’s never ever entered your vocabulary, like “diamond organza overlays.”

4. Power down. Words with Friends can wait. Angry Birds can wait. And no, you’re not fooling anyone by playing under the table. Exhibit A: that white glow on your face. Try to keep it in your pants until the meeting’s over.

5. Impress the judges. Not to imply that they’re judging you … BUT vendors are meeting with new couples nearly every day of the week. So dry clean something, dress the part and kill that shameful goatee that you’ve been massaging these last few weeks. Prove to them that you’re not going to be one of those “special” grooms who needs to be escorted to the bathroom.

6. Don’t show up drunk. Worse than the groom who appears out-of-it during the table meeting is the groom who’s laughing hysterically at a flower that mildly resembles genitalia. Save the cocktails for the post-meeting lunch. Yes, that goes for all jokes about genitalia, too.

the groom saysMadman is the founder and editor of The Groom Says — a real groom’s blog that details a year of wedding planning from the guy’s perspective. Check it out for inspiration from Brian (aka Madman) as he recounts the planning of his October 2010 wedding. You can also follow The Groom Says on Twitter.

Have you met with any vendors yet? How did you survive? Do you think any of the tips listed above will help future grooms nail the meeting? Tell us your answers in the comments section below.

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