Ask the Wedding Babe: Should I Ask Her Dad For Permission?
Today, we’re launching a new weekly column that we’re highly excited about. Please welcome the newest member of the GroomsAdvice team, The Wedding Babe. Each week, she’ll be blogging responses to some of the common questions we receive from grooms. In other words, she’ll be the lone voice of female reason on an otherwise testosterone-dominated blog.
Q – Should I ask her dad for permission to propose? Do people still do this?
Before you get down on one knee (which, of course, you’re planning to do, right?), should you have a talk with her dad? Traditionally, the groom-to-be is expected to first ask his future father-in-law for permission to marry his daughter. However, because your girlfriend is a strong, independent woman, and it’s no longer 1950, you might wonder if this is still necessary today. But think of it this way: Although you aren’t required by law to ask her parents for their permission, simply asking for the blessing of your girlfriend’s dad—and mom—and informing them of your intentions to marry is a respectful gesture that will not only earn you points with your future in-laws, but with your bride-to-be, especially if she has a close relationship with her parents. On the other hand, if she has a strained or non-existent relationship with one or both parents, you don’t need to seek him or her out for permission. However, if she was raised by her grandparents or other relatives, asking them for permission would be appropriate.
What’s the best way to bring up the subject? In person is always preferable. Ask your girlfriend’s parents to dinner, or at a minimum, invite yourself over for a chat. Is your future father-in-law into sports or fishing? Ask him to a game or out for a day on the lake to broach the subject. If her parents live out of town, or in another country, and driving or a quick flight isn’t possible, a phone call will suffice. But otherwise, try to make every effort to meet with them face-to-face.
Nervous? Don’t be. Assuming you’re the great guy you know you are, you love your girlfriend and you’re ready to get married, her parents will be overjoyed and truly appreciate your sincere gesture.
Stay tuned each week as we’ll be posting new advice from The Wedding Babe (as well as more info on the babe herself). If you’ve got a burning question for her, please submit it here. And please, no date requests. The Wedding Babe is a happily married woman.. who could probably kick your ass.