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Ranking Your Wedding Planning Stress Level by Vice of Choice

Various Vices

I was talking with my buddy Dave from Temple of Groom the other day about his upcoming wedding. He seemed exhausted and mentioned how stressful the last few months of wedding planning had been for him and his fiance. This is not a huge surprise as most of you know how much of a drain the last few months before the wedding can be. He made the comment that the stress was going to drive him to alcoholism or worse. I thought he was kidding and then I saw that crazy look in his eye. This dude was serious!

The conversation got me to thinking. Can you rank wedding planning stress levels through which vice the stress is driving you to? In national security terms, what would a code red be?

Here’s my attempt along with a few tips on coping with stress:


Code Can I get a Light?

Sample stress – The venue we want for the reception was just booked yesterday.

Stress can cause former smokers to pick up the habit again. And once you pick that up it’s quite hard to drop it. If you feel like this could be you, do yourself a favor and pick up one of those fancy electronic cigarettes.


Code Man v. Food

Sample stress – You’ve found the one date that works for you, your bride and your families when you discover that your best friend has scheduled his wedding for the same day.

Food is comforting. Hence the phrase ‘comfort food.’ However, high stress levels can often drive you to binge on unhealthy foods – and we don’t need Morgan Spurlock here to remind us that fast food is killing us one Value Meal at a time. One suggestion is to schedule a once-per-week date night with your fiance where you cook a homemade, healthy meal that’s not going to pile on the pounds before the big day.


Code Scotch

Sample stress – Three months out from the wedding, your honeymoon resort informs you that due to a computer error, your reservation has been canceled and you’re now on a “waiting list” for a room.

I love scotch. Scotchy Scotch. Scotch. Here it goes, down into my belly. Whether it’s scotch, or the liquor of your choice, a nice, stiff drink can taste so good after a hard day at work. But I don’t have to be a rocket scientist to tell you that one of the leading causes of alcoholism is stress. I actually do recommend drinking in moderation while planning the wedding (it’ll help you be more creative), just don’t let booze be a crutch that gets you through the process.


Code Double Down

Sample stress – The Best Man hasn’t been measured for his tux yet and the cut-off date just passed yesterday. It’s 50/50 whether he’ll be able to find an alternate tux elsewhere.

I just returned from a trip to Vegas and as always saw some sad characters at the blackjack table. I always ask myself what could be driving these people to gamble their life away. Is it that hard to turn and face your problems head on?  When planning a wedding, always keep in mind that this is the happiest time of your life. Stress is part of it, but you can’t let it beat you. Face it, accept it and move on. So what if your Best Man’s tux is going to be a shade darker than yours… it could be A LOT worse. You could be the guy at the blackjack table.


Code Green

Sample stress – Your caterer informs you three days before the wedding that they’re going out of business. You won’t be getting your deposit back.

Yes, I’ve actually heard of couples toking it up to cope with the stresses of wedding planning. I myself don’t partake in the giggle smoke, but from what I understand it can be quite relaxing. However, I just can’t quite wrap my mine around experimenting with it while planning your wedding – that’s what college was for.


Code Gibson

Sample stress – You wake up on the wedding day to discover a note from your bride telling you she’s run away with her ex.

I’m not going to comment much on what specifically comes after ‘Code Gibson.’ I’ll just say that I hope you’ve got a good lawyer.


Connect with post author Chris Easter on Google+, Pinterest and Facebook.

What code are you on? Have you turned from an occasional drinker into a binge drinker? Have you become a full fledged drug addict? Let us know in the comments section below.

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3 Responses to “Ranking Your Wedding Planning Stress Level by Vice of Choice”

  1. SuperDave Says:

    To me alcoholism sounds SO much worse than gettin a little high after a stressful conversation with my parents. ADDITIONALLY, you guys forgot to mention that it’s totally legal out here in California if you have a prescription, which I do not, but if I had one, it would be totally legit. After all, weed is California’s number 1 cash crop!

    That being said, to deal with a little stress I’ve partaken in an OCCASIONAL bourbon and a rare smoke of the wacky tobacky….

    Love the post!

  2. Marie Says:

    I guess my wedding stress was low ranking :0). I felt that I needed a hot bath.

  3. kelly Says:

    My fiance and I are presently about to kill each other. This is the week of the wedding with two days to go, and I can honestly say this has been the most anxiety filled week of our relationship. We are both not sleeping and just sort of on high anxiety mode. We are both extremely excited for the big day Please hurry day!!!!
    I have been on booze and cigs alert. Hello bottle of wine! Oh its only 9am? Thats ok, lets cork the bottle!!!
    ok just kidding (sort of) but weddings are REALLY stressful and you don’t realize how bad it can get until you are knee deep in it!
    We are trying to remind eachother that we need to be a team right now and we need to be there for each other. Thanks for the ability to vent!!!!!!!!

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