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Groom Clues: 3 Simple Steps to Being a Better Fiance (Part 3)

bigstockphoto_Groom_150656Today we wrap up my three part series, Groom Clues: Three Simple Steps to Becoming a Better Fiancé.  As the groom, it’s not your job to do all the work, however, having less responsibility creates higher expectations. First, I discussed using food to calm and perfect any wedding planning night.  Next, I encouraged grooms to quickly volunteer for the jobs they will excel at.  Today, I raise a topic I’m still trying to perfect: Giving your Opinion.

Step 3: Know when and how to give your opinion. When it comes to the groom’s opinion, the bride either needs it, is curious about it, or doesn’t want it at all.  Stating your opinion is walking on dangerous grounds for any groom, but keeping your mouth shut can be just as risky. Grooms, we’ve all made these mistakes, and it’s not one you want to make again. My advice is: wait until she asks, state your real opinion once, and support all of her suggestions.

If you wait until she asks, you will save yourself from saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.  Forcing your opinion on your bride is never a good idea. When she’s ready, she’ll ask.

When she asks, provide your input carefully. Whether she’s just curious, or needs your thoughts, giving your opinion one time is sufficient. No matter how strongly you feel about your opinion, giving it more than once is dangerous territory.  Your bride heard you, and knows how you feel.  And be honest—she can see right through a fake, canned answer, and giving one will be just as insulting as ignoring her. Use common sense, but try to tell the truth.

Finally, remind her that you’ll be happy either way. With all of the decisions and ideas to go over, forcing one on her will only add stress for both of you.  After you tell her what you think, let her know that you like her ideas too, and that you’ll be happy with either.

Grooms, don’t get me wrong, this is your wedding too. I’m not suggesting you sit down and watch your wedding go by, but remember, your fiancé is carrying most of the work on her shoulders. Perfecting the art of tactfully giving your opinion will go a long way with your bride!

Ben the Groom is a master of all things groom and is pumped to be onboard as a GroomsAdvice guest blogger. Ben is constantly searching out inspiration for style, ways to appease your fiancé, and tips to ensure smooth wedding planning. He is also dedicated to helping grooms across the globe be more involved, more capable and more prepared.

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