Introducing Groom Points: The Reward System for Grooms
When you spend money on a credit card, you’re most likely accumulating some sort of “points” or “rewards.” Why should it be any different when you spend money on your girlfriend, fiance or wife? Let’s face it, there needs to be incentive for guys to go see the new ‘Twilight’ movie, to watch an episode of ‘Project Runway’ or to fix a leaky faucet.
Brian at The Groom Says has created a solution: Introducing The Groom Reward System
“Madman, I’m lost. I’ve been working on accumulating some boyfriend points, but how do I get them? What can I redeem them for? Where do I store them? What does it all mean?”
I assuaged the friend, suggested he eat his troubles — the pig ear Terrine seemed the most troubling — and told him I’d have his answers by morning. Gladly, I present those answers:
How do I get them?
Groom (and, similarly, Boyfriend) Points are not unlike American Express Rewards credits: you get them by spending money.
Yes, the best way to earn points is by buying your fiancée (or wife, or girlfriend) things that she wouldn’t typically buy herself. Flowers are the perfect example. Flowers earn you one point per day that they survive, so you want to be sure to cut the stems, extract dead petals and replace the water daily. Here are some other examples:
* Groceries – 3 points
* Movie – 5 points (double the points for romantic comedies, triple for period pieces)
* Spa treatment – 10 points
* Dinner – earns you as many points as you tip, so tip generously
Alternatively, earn single points for household chores, such as washing dishes, washing the car or washing yourself.
Yes – bathing earns you a single point. It’s good to be a man.
What can I redeem them for?
Now, unlike AMEX Rewards, you cannot use your accumulated points to purchase stereo equipment or Home Depot gift cards. And unlike AT&T, your points do not rollover. Boyfriend Points expire annually. Groom Points, monthly.
What the points can be redeemed for is lenience.
Girlfriend: “I think you should read the Twilight series, sweetie, and then we can talk about it and see the movies together…”
Boyfriend: “Ooo. I don’t know. I really want to put my spare time into repainting the bathroom.”
See. Crisis averted.
Bride: “Let’s go to that vegan bistro for brunch!”
Groom: “Are you crazy? I’m still stuffed from that salmon I caught, killed and poached for you last night.”
Groom Points aren’t currency. They’re more like notches on a choke collar. The more points you have, the looser the collar.
Where do I store them?
I keep a current tally of my points with me at all times on the back of an unwanted business card. Occasionally I’ll forget that time that I called her mother, or that hour I spent with her admiring old photos and scrapbooking memories. I earned those points. I need those points.
Word on the street is that a Groom Points App will be available before Summer 2010.
What does it all mean?
Well, what it means is that we can all live in harmony, really. What it means is that men and women CAN co-habitate. And most importantly, it means that I can still have my monthly Maxim magazine subscription and not have to apologize for it.
(p.s. perpetual laundry duty = 1 monthly subscription, pending approval)
Brian Leahy is founder of The Groom Says — a safe haven for grooms who need a hand with wedding planning and brides who need a hand with their grooms. Check out the blog for some laughs and inspiration, and be sure to follow The Groom Says on Twitter and Google+.